Hey there oldie newbie here

[AndyAmo]

Learned a long time ago, NT's live their life using lies or unethical behavior, now really notice it after self diagnosing myself. Fortunately looking back, my friends were like me also on spectrum.

I think Robert Winstanley offered the theory that the reason male and female human brains are similar and large is all the lies, deceit and game-playing humans have to navigate. Or words to that effect. Like you, the friends I have stuck with, and who stuck with me are on the spectrum too.

 

[AndyAmo]

Good stuff. I spent very little time in large organizations, and was usually self-employed. Anyone ignoring the facts to assert their authority quickly destroyed my confidence in the whole enterprise.

I have struggled to deal with this too, over the years. Now it's dawning on me that it's not an anomaly, it's to be expected.

 

[AndyAmo]

Hello & welcome @AndyAmo!

Hey thank you @Crossbreed

 

[AndyAmo]

Thank you so much everyone for sharing your experiences and insights. Such a lot to think about in your responses. So many things striking very familiar chords. I'm so glad I found this forum!

 

[Shevek]

I think Robert Winstanley offered the theory that the reason male and female human brains are similar and large is all the lies, deceit and game-playing humans have to navigate. Or words to that effect. Like you, the friends I have stuck with, and who stuck with me are on the spectrum too.

Thanks. I should probably look him up. I think that humans hit the sweet spot between the chimps and the bonobos with 10% infidelity. It is high enough to keep the gene pool fresh, and low enough to keep the fathers involved to support the long childhood needed to program a large brain. Women can get infatuated with "bad boys" because many of them were good for the community but unsuitable as husbands - traders, troubadours, and those who face dangerous situations. Infidelity conserves their genes, and also the energy of sterile men who make good fathers. Men have to be the risk-takers, because if a disaster kills most of them, it does not affect the birth rate. If equal numbers of women die, a tribe gets smaller and is out-competed. Ma Nature culls poorer genes when men carry them. When women carry them, other women pitch in to help her children and keep the birth rate up. With the current energy-driven prosperity, we forget that in normal times, a species has to do all it can just to maintain a stable population.

 

[AndyAmo]

Interesting. I've been listening to the first book of "The Story of Civilisation". It's been very interesting and also unsettling. It's almost a century old and is a Western telling, with associated prejudices and language. But even so the author (Will Durant) takes a gently questioning and inquisitive approach is often even-handed when describing the astonishing variety of human social structures, relationship norms, social rules from the last 10,000 years or so. The concept of property and its transfer seems to upend much, way back at the start. I didn't really get into history until I recently got into art history. Now I love it all. I can also worry less about some of the unfathomable aspects of modern society. It seems 'twas always thus The other good thing is it's 50 hours of audio and there are several volumes after this one! I'm doing all I can to resist make a giant timeline of everything covered in the book LOL.

 

[Coxhere]

Hi everyone. I'm new here. 60ish and diagnosed autistic in last 4 years. Only now starting to understand about autism and me. Looking forward to continue learning and also getting to know new people. I've found myself stepping back socially, lately. So joining this forum is a positive step for me.

Joining this forum is not only a positive step for you. It is also a GREAT step! Welcome.

 

[AndyAmo]

Joining this forum is not only a positive step for you. It is also a GREAT step! Welcome.

Thanks @Coxhere, great to meet you

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome to the forum @AndyAmo !

Another here that was late diagnosed in mid-fifties and now 68.
I've found this group and have been around ever since.
It's a good place and nice to find others who have had the same experiences.

 

[AndyAmo]

Welcome to the forum @AndyAmo !

Another here that was late diagnosed in mid-fifties and now 68.
I've found this group and have been around ever since.
It's a good place and nice to find others who have had the same experiences.
View attachment 144368

Hi @SusanLR that's great to hear and thank you for the welcome.

 

[Jonn]

Hi everyone. I'm new here. 60ish and diagnosed autistic in last 4 years. Only now starting to understand about autism and me. Looking forward to continue learning and also getting to know new people. I've found myself stepping back socially, lately. So joining this forum is a positive step for me.

I'm an old fart also.
Welcome.

 

[Jonn]

I did gain some helpful insights from an online book (autists survival guide - I think) that tuned me into how NT culture prioritises achievement / recognition / competition / status. That even seemingly friendly things like social groups and clubs may also exist as a sort of outlet for these kinds of drives.

The NT social mindset is overwhelmingly focused on the procreation game, directly or indirectly.
For that, if you do it "correctly", you need social status with the intention of gaining a "higher level" mate so as to provide a child with a greater chance of doing well in the competitive NT universe.
And so the cycle continues.

Gender diverse individuals are also caught up in "The Rat Race" mentality so often, imo.

In the past, when this has happened, I have berated myself, for some reason. I thought I was doing something wrong.

A wise man once said:
Don't chase other ppls rainbows.

Spoiler

That wise man is me.

Rule #1: There are no rulz.

Yes, I am an atheist.
May I ask what sort of beast you are?

Looking at this now I see I don't have to be as surprised or upset when socially adept people suddenly develop 'sharp elbows' and jockey for status, or just act illogically. Social facility is not a guarantee of fair, logical or inclusive thinking and action, I now realise.

These days, I simply laugh at the social jockeying.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

 

[AndyAmo]

I'm an old fart also.
Welcome.

Takes one to know one

 

[AndyAmo]

And so the cycle continues.

It certainly does. I'm coming to realise that, albeit a bit late in the day. I previously took all the pleasantries and (I guess jockeying) at face value for so long without realising all the "other stuff" that was going on. I am experimenting with letting it sail past me know. I hope to save a ton of energy by not engaging with it at all

 

[Jonn]

It certainly does. I'm coming to realise that, albeit a bit late in the day. I previously took all the pleasantries and (I guess jockeying) at face value for so long without realising all the "other stuff" that was going on. I am experimenting with letting it sail past me know. I hope to save a ton of energy by not engaging with it at all

A few years ago, I simplified my life as much as possible, and I am reaping the rewards.
Semi-reluse in real life, here...

- YouTube