Helping out a friend

[Dillon]

I have a good friend of mine at my college campus I’ve known this person for a year since we had classes together and hangout sometimes if we are not too busy with school stuff and work. She is the only friend of mine who knows I have aspergers but we forget we even talked about it and go about our day and such.

I got a text from her yesterday afternoon asking me if I had mentioned that had I aspergers since it had been months since I had told her about it. I replied yeah how come. She is concerned she may have it cause some people have been pointing out her behavior and patterns she been acting upon and tells me how she’s noticed it for years. One person pointed out how she makes improper eye contact and have repetitive patterns. She also says how she would say something that has upset someone without realizing what she had done wrong. She also explained on depression and anxiety in which I’ve noticed somewhat of anxiety when I’m around her and I try to calm her down.

I told her that I honestly don’t know much of what to do except go to a professional to get an official diagnosis which that is something she is considering. It’s making her worried and has been for a little bit now since people have been pointing out the signs. I told her even if you have it there’s no shame in what you have everyone has something wrong with them they go through.

I don’t to jump to conclusions but I’m having an assumption she may as well have it. I’ve noticed how she’s so detailed oriented and is like to be focused on certain of interest. She has a good memory retention to the point she remembers material she learned way back in high school and such.

I don’t know what else to think. What is your opinion on this what should she do? This is a good friend of mine I care about and want to help out.

 

[Pats]

Tell her to do some research on female autism/aspergers on the computer. She will learn more in her own research than anywhere else and she has the option whether or not to get an official diagnosis. There's lots of good articles out there on "aspie females".

 

[Pats]

Tania Marshall has some good articles and book she could check out.

 

[Dillon]

Tell her to do some research on female autism/aspergers on the computer. She will learn more in her own research than anywhere else and she has the option whether or not to get an official diagnosis. There's lots of good articles out there on "aspie females".

I don’t want to go about a way to look stuff up about aspergers/autism in the sense it may worry her more than it is already. I want to minimize as possible the sensation that she may have it. She worries about different things all the time but is able to see through and work the situations at best.
I told her it will probably be best to talk to her parents and see what to do from there.

 

[china autie]

Tell her if you want to that she is your friend and a beautiful human being. That if other people don't get that, it is their loss.

When people try to diagnose my emotional state as in "I know there is something bothering you" -- wwich I find to be a bit intrusive-- I seek to end the conversation.

Non-committal statements such as "Well, that is interesting" or "You may be right" or "you've given me something to think about" allows me to then bring up something else to talk about.

If someone is persistent, "I appreciate your concern. I do not wish to talk about it now." Or, "Private Health Information. You aren't my doctor so bugger off."

We do not have to be overly nice or apologetic or explanatory to intrusive people.

Ha! I've been called "intense" in the past. I may be intense but those people are intrusive. How satisfying!!!