Help!

[bubbles]

Yesterday I had a massive argument with my mum and my sister, but it only happened because my mum, sister and stepdad were all criticising me all at once and I felt overwhelmed, is this a normal feeling for an aspie? Then people got involved and I said some nasty things, but I've been finding everything impossible to cope with and I felt like curling into a ball. I sat in my room last night at cried for 4 hours straight. Why couldn't I just shut up? And why can I not cope with being told what to and being criticised? Now it's the morning and my whole family hate me, and I'm feeling in a way because I don't know how to fix this! I'm very upset and I just want things to be fixed but I don't know how. Is it normal for aspies to find trouble in being able to control their temper?

 

[Harrison]

Hi, Bubbles. Even at my ripe old age I can still be overwhelmed if several people engage me negatively at once. I've learnt that the best thing to do is walk away and let things calm down and then approach each person as one-to-one. Controlling our temper is one of the hard aspects of being an aspie as we can slip into a meltdown if overwhelmed or under extremem pressure.

The toughest decision I ever made was to sit back and look at why I was being criticised, whether there was any actual reason for it. In most cases there was, and I had to learn to adapt so as to not create those scenarios again. It's not easy I know, butwe all expect others to understand how we feel, yet I've found that the one person who really needs to understand is us.

 

[Datura]

I know that scenario would bother me, Bubbles, and I frankly can't imagine anyone not feeling cornered and overwhelmed by such a barrage of negativity. Personally, I'm not the type to lash out. I would most likely avert my gaze and quietly take it, then seethe with anger and self loathing afterward.

 

[Suzanne]

Hello bubbles

Oh believe me, you are not the only one. How's about being 45 and doing exactly the same thing ie going to my bedroom and curling up in a ball because my husband was not happy with me?

To be fair, though, who likes criticism? When it is given gently that is one thing, but more than one bashing, is out of order.

 

[Datura]

How's about being 45 and doing exactly the same thing ie going to my bedroom and curling up in a ball because my husband was not happy with me?
.

I do the same thing when I'm overwhelmed. I curl up in bed, burry my head in my pillow, and rock myself.

 

[Progster]

Yes, that would upset me too, and my reaction would be the same.

 

[Jimbo]

I have never been in a situation like that, but I do hate criticism. It bothers me for months, even years. I can't imagine having 3 people gang up on me all it once. That would be tough. Sorry you are going through this. Sounds like it's time for a serious family discussion to let them know how hurt you are and how to work on improving relations.

 

[SameStars]

I sometimes lash out when I feel vulnerable, and criticism can bring that to the surface. I also have the need to be alone after that and calm myself to get some perspective. Then I usually feel guilty for my overreaction.