Handshakes: How to Achieve a Lifetime Exemption.

[Autistic Yoda]

When you come prepared, refusing unnecessary ritual dude touching
is no longer insulting or personal to a guy just trying to be appropriate.

Wedding or conference? I'm always wearing an ace bandage. They'll just assume your right hand is too injured, and you don't have to put out.

Thing is, I'm contemplating a more permanent, 24/7 type of solution. A tattoo on my wrist. I'm not an artist. It needs to be functional, clear, and simple- but somehow better looking than the ugly design attached below. Ideas?

 

[Rodafina]

It doesn't seem like a wrist tattoo would convey the message clearly and quickly enough. It's not prominent and could easily be missed or ignored.

I'm not trying to be a killjoy, but just not sure such an extreme step would serve the purpose you need it to.

A t-shirt, a business card, or a strong, clear phrase might be ideas to consider.

 

[Judge]

I'd think in the case of most persons, it will ultimately require a verbal response.

Perhaps that you have an aversion to hand-shaking without going into any details. Letting the awkwardness of the situation followed by your silence to propel it to a quick ending.

 

[Autistic Yoda]

It doesn't seem like a wrist tattoo would convey the message clearly and quickly enough. It's not prominent and could easily be missed or ignored.

I'm not trying to be a killjoy, but just not sure such an extreme step would serve the purpose you need it to.

A t-shirt, a business card, or a strong, clear phrase might be ideas to consider.

I wouldn't expect it to be noticed. But when they reach in, I just hold out the tattoo in a wave-like gesture and say something like: "Lifetime exemption!"

 

[Autistic Yoda]

I'd think in the case of most persons, it will ultimately require a verbal response.

Perhaps that you have an aversion to hand-shaking without going into any details. Letting the awkwardness of the situation followed by your silence to propel it to a quick ending.

If I was willing to use awkwardness as a tool, I wouldn't need clever devices to smooth things out.

Saying "I'm more of a fist-bump guy" and then just putting out partially works in many settings.
If I can get away with it, I'll just say "We don't have to". It's actually more insulting if I DO shake his hand, because he can probably tell how much I'm hating it. The tattoo is an idea to just knock the entire problem out of the park for life. But if the feedback here is overwhelmingly negative, I'll seriously need to reconsider.

 

[Judge]

If I was willing to use awkwardness as a tool, I wouldn't need clever devices to smooth things out.

I use it precisely as a tool whenever someone aims sarcasm in my direction. When the other person is perplexed enough to just move on rather than pursue something stupid they said in haste. When you make it awkward for them- not yourself.

When someone says something transactional expected to evoke a response, don't give it to them. It's that simple. A handshake isn't any different, intended as a transactional gesture.

 

[Rodafina]

@Autistic Yoda
I loathe handshakes, too. And I always appreciate a creative solution to problems.

It is a clever idea, but I just think it's be going to difficult for people to understand it and will lead to you having to explain regardless. People who regularly use handshakes don't think like we do and will get easily confused, I think.

Something like huge red X tattoos across your palms might convey the message if you were willing to verbally explain, too.

I won't continue to tear down your idea, though. If you think this is the solution, then I've no reason to try to dissuade you any further.

 

[Autistic Yoda]

I use it precisely as a tool whenever someone aims sarcasm in my direction. When the other person is perplexed enough to just move on rather than pursue something stupid they said in haste. When you make it awkward for them- not yourself.

When someone says something expected to evoke a response, don't give it to them. It's that simple.

I get it. But handshakes aren't usually a form of attack. You've probably heard that they originated as a way for men to 'prove' they're unarmed. But the real reason behind it is that NT's actually get an endorphin release from touching each other. Like you'd get from touching someone you're sexually attracted to, but on a lower level.

By transactional gesture, do you mean the way salesmen use handshakes to lower the resistance barriers of potential marks? Or the symbolic gesture of sealing and closing a deal? Something else?

 

[Tired]

But the real reason behind it is that NT's actually get an endorphin release from touching each other. Like you'd get from touching someone you're sexually attracted to, but on a lower level.

Where from is this info? I'm NT and I dislike touching or being touched by people I dont know very good.