Group or One-on-One conversations

[Mark Smith]

As I have stated previously, I recently started working at a job this summer which has led me to realize more about how my autism impairs my ability to socialize. One of the things that I realized recently is how much easier it is for me to have a conversation as a group rather than one-on-one. The way that I realized this is because during the lunch break at my job, we are allowed to go outside and eat lunch on a table that’s in front of the building. If one of my co-workers get to the table before me(especially the more socially outgoing ones), I will become really anxious because I know that they’ll try to start a conversation with me which makes me uncomfortable because I will have trouble maintaining it by myself. But if there’s 2 or more people at the table before me, I’ll feel a lot less anxious because there won’t be as much pressure on me to start or maintain the conversation. I can either just be on my phone while the other people at the table talk amongst each other and contribute only when I’m asked a question or I know what to say. Is anybody else like this?

 

[the_tortoise]

I struggle to follow group conversations/interactions, so I prefer one-to-one interaction.

But, I know what you mean .... if I don't know how to talk to someone, what to say, etc. it is much better if there are other people they can talk to so I don't have to.

 

[OlLiE]

with me it is just the opposite, i can talk with one person for a log time as long as it is not about an interpersonal topic, dealing with group conversations is a nightmare for me, too much inconsistent data and differing personalities to take into account for me to process comfortably

 

[The Silly Farmer]

Opposite here too. If i'm in a group i tend to just go quiet and let them do all the talking unless i get asked a question directly. I feel far more comfortable talking one on one. Then again i never sit down for a fixed lunchbreak for a chat so can just walk off/leave when the conversation has finished

 

[unfit]

Opposite too. I feel much more comfortable talking one on one. Often, I can pick a topic that both pleases us. When I'm in a group, I can't see the hidden messages/feelings (too many, too fast). Moreover, in large groups, the discussion tends to be boring IMHO.

 

[Noelle]

I struggle to follow group conversations/interactions, so I prefer one-to-one interaction.

But, I know what you mean .... if I don't know how to talk to someone, what to say, etc. it is much better if there are other people they can talk to so I don't have to.

I think I'm like this too. I usually love talking one on one, and can handle small or medium-sized groups, but occasionally get into situations where I genuinely have no idea how to speak, even though I may have a million ideas in my mind that want to come out.

 

[Marie]

I'm with you Mark, if humanly possible I will avoid one-on-one conversations. The stress is too much for me, I do my best to avoid sharing a space with just one other person (especially at work). Like you, I am better in a group because with more people, the expectation for me to be an active part of the conversation is reduced.

 

[Mr Allen]

I'm with you Mark, if humanly possible I will avoid one-on-one conversations. The stress is too much for me, I do my best to avoid sharing a space with just one other person (especially at work). Like you, I am better in a group because with more people, the expectation for me to be an active part of the conversation is reduced.

I'm the exact opposite, I hate group based activities, would much rather a 1 to 1.

Exceptions are Pub Quizzes and my Martial Arts training.

 

[VJCJ0628]

I have always hated groups large groups especially I find it hard to engage in conversation, I do best one on one or small groups

 

[Mary Anne]

OPPOSITE for me too! I do more poorly with groups (3 people constitute a group for me.). One on one talk is easy for me. I can converse with most anyone easily, and fiercelessly. It’s been a true life skill to learn to work at jobs where I need to deal with groups of people. I started in my 20s. It’s still difficult with new people, as in starting new jobs. I work now with groups of diverse people with mental challenges.

I find it easier at my other job where I work with complete strangers in a big box home goods store. Conversing with strangers (customers) is way more easier then in a job situation where I come up for quarterly reviews and need to be well liked by clients and peers, in order to keep my job. I can do it successfully, but it takes constant mindfulness and awareness not to say the wrong things, be too direct, or have the wrong tone. Exhausting to say the least. I have no problems with small talk with strangers, or one on one.

On the other hand, I can speak publicly to large groups when I am prepared. I used to be terribly anxious, and have gotten much more capable and confident in doing it.