Persevero
Well-Known Member
Hi, I'm Afonso - a 27 year old college student from Portugal, here's a thread to share a bit about myself with you guys!
I've been told about this site by Daniela, whose introduction thread you'll probably find on the same page. I'm not sure how the policy of discussing other sites works, but we "met" on another ASD-focused forum. We both hope, among other things, to find more Portuguese aspies online and get involved with the community. I'm already positively impressed with what little I've seen so far, like the kind and welcoming attitude.
An important disclaimer to make: I am not diagnosed with anything beyond depression. I come very closely to self-diagnosing with PDD-NOS but do not stand by it because I am no professional and may be using confirmation bias. I am in no hurry to get a diagnosis because it would not help me as much as participating in ASD self-help communities. My reasons for this are as follows:
* I have no sensory issues besides maybe bright lights;
* I have no stims besides rubbing my hands when I'm anxious (which is quite common);
* I have had very few shutdowns in my life and never meltdowns;
* Putting myself in other people's shoes (empathy) isn't too hard for me;
I can take care of myself and I feel I would be removing attention from people on the spectrum who need the support.
My suspicions aren't without reason though:
Verbally phrasing what I want to say feels like fishing with my bare hands to the point where unless I've mentally prepared beforehand, I occasionally get the order and pronunciation of the words wrong. I also have trouble hearing speech when there is background noise or other ongoing conversations but otherwise my hearing is fine.
A long time ago, I remember having trouble looking people in the eye - and when I did I'd feel my neck lock up. Since then I've been able to successfully force myself to look people in the eye with satisfying success but it did not come natural to me.
I also used to be heavily interested in particular videogames (1 at a time) so much that I'd think about and strategize for them during classes or family gatherings (I didn't say much anyway). Right now I do not have any special interest (the sequels to my favorite games being disappointing might have been a good reason) which honestly has left me feeling a bit empty. I am hoping my future profession can fulfill this "need" for a special interest, although some recently played strategy games have come close.
Most importantly, I often feel completely lost in social gatherings and have to resort to a strict guideline (in my head) to manage conversations with people I have little in common with. This guideline is the result of trial-and-error and copying characters in books/movies/etc, I sometimes still cross that social "invisible line" most NT people are aware of, either by being too honest or showing too much interest. Although I experience anxiety as a result, I'm convinced I do not have an anxiety disorder because I do not shy away from gatherings and the anxiety is a result of being lost and not the other way around.
A common theme for ASD I immediately identify with is the need for alone time. I cannot explain it and most people I've met do not understand, but I feel an urge to avoid social interaction for a while every now and then. I also, quite irrationally, hate improvised "plans" and unexpected changes.
My name means " Persevere" in Portuguese, it's a sort of reminder of the personal revolution I went through at 23 years and a half - Accept who I am and do my best. Be friendly and nice to those around me even if I can't really connect with them. Before then I tended to give up too easily and lied to myself about not caring that I was voluntarily & involuntarily isolating myself.
I'm joining this site for much the same reasons I joined the other: I want help to understand people and relationships better from the perspective of someone without social instinct, and to know how to cope better with depression/anxiety.
My interests include games, movies, fantasy, sci-fi, crime and satire books and hard rock / metal. I like to describe my range as everything between Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Soul to Squeeze" and Mastodon's "Iron Tusk". There are several bands of which I only appreciate half of their songs, like Trivium and Machine Head.
I'm reading: Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens
I'm playing: Dark Souls 2 with the occasional Warlock 2 which I've already played to exhaustion
I'm listening to: Arab Spring by Brain Dance, a Portuguese metal band I recently discovered
Last movie I watched: Guardians of the Galaxy
My avatar is a Big Mek from Warhammer 40K another game I love to play online through a program called VASSAL and the videogame Dawn of War. Feel free to contact me to play any game you think I might be interested in based on the above!
Cheers!
I've been told about this site by Daniela, whose introduction thread you'll probably find on the same page. I'm not sure how the policy of discussing other sites works, but we "met" on another ASD-focused forum. We both hope, among other things, to find more Portuguese aspies online and get involved with the community. I'm already positively impressed with what little I've seen so far, like the kind and welcoming attitude.
An important disclaimer to make: I am not diagnosed with anything beyond depression. I come very closely to self-diagnosing with PDD-NOS but do not stand by it because I am no professional and may be using confirmation bias. I am in no hurry to get a diagnosis because it would not help me as much as participating in ASD self-help communities. My reasons for this are as follows:
* I have no sensory issues besides maybe bright lights;
* I have no stims besides rubbing my hands when I'm anxious (which is quite common);
* I have had very few shutdowns in my life and never meltdowns;
* Putting myself in other people's shoes (empathy) isn't too hard for me;
I can take care of myself and I feel I would be removing attention from people on the spectrum who need the support.
My suspicions aren't without reason though:
Verbally phrasing what I want to say feels like fishing with my bare hands to the point where unless I've mentally prepared beforehand, I occasionally get the order and pronunciation of the words wrong. I also have trouble hearing speech when there is background noise or other ongoing conversations but otherwise my hearing is fine.
A long time ago, I remember having trouble looking people in the eye - and when I did I'd feel my neck lock up. Since then I've been able to successfully force myself to look people in the eye with satisfying success but it did not come natural to me.
I also used to be heavily interested in particular videogames (1 at a time) so much that I'd think about and strategize for them during classes or family gatherings (I didn't say much anyway). Right now I do not have any special interest (the sequels to my favorite games being disappointing might have been a good reason) which honestly has left me feeling a bit empty. I am hoping my future profession can fulfill this "need" for a special interest, although some recently played strategy games have come close.
Most importantly, I often feel completely lost in social gatherings and have to resort to a strict guideline (in my head) to manage conversations with people I have little in common with. This guideline is the result of trial-and-error and copying characters in books/movies/etc, I sometimes still cross that social "invisible line" most NT people are aware of, either by being too honest or showing too much interest. Although I experience anxiety as a result, I'm convinced I do not have an anxiety disorder because I do not shy away from gatherings and the anxiety is a result of being lost and not the other way around.
A common theme for ASD I immediately identify with is the need for alone time. I cannot explain it and most people I've met do not understand, but I feel an urge to avoid social interaction for a while every now and then. I also, quite irrationally, hate improvised "plans" and unexpected changes.
My name means " Persevere" in Portuguese, it's a sort of reminder of the personal revolution I went through at 23 years and a half - Accept who I am and do my best. Be friendly and nice to those around me even if I can't really connect with them. Before then I tended to give up too easily and lied to myself about not caring that I was voluntarily & involuntarily isolating myself.
I'm joining this site for much the same reasons I joined the other: I want help to understand people and relationships better from the perspective of someone without social instinct, and to know how to cope better with depression/anxiety.
My interests include games, movies, fantasy, sci-fi, crime and satire books and hard rock / metal. I like to describe my range as everything between Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Soul to Squeeze" and Mastodon's "Iron Tusk". There are several bands of which I only appreciate half of their songs, like Trivium and Machine Head.
I'm reading: Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens
I'm playing: Dark Souls 2 with the occasional Warlock 2 which I've already played to exhaustion
I'm listening to: Arab Spring by Brain Dance, a Portuguese metal band I recently discovered
Last movie I watched: Guardians of the Galaxy
My avatar is a Big Mek from Warhammer 40K another game I love to play online through a program called VASSAL and the videogame Dawn of War. Feel free to contact me to play any game you think I might be interested in based on the above!
Cheers!
