Genuine Instructions Vs Joking

[Ken]

Does anyone else find it frustrating how some people will tell you to do something or not to do something and then it turns out that they really wanted the reverse yet other times it was really intended. Like one time you are told to do something and punished or at least threatened with punishment if you don't then another time you are told to do something and later the person is angry at you or at least annoyed because you did what they said and they are sarcastic with you about not having to do everything they say. Also, telling you not to do something and usually you would be in big trouble if you did what you had been told not to but every so often they don't understand why you didn't do it because this time it turns out that they told you not to because the reason for telling you not to do it was supposed to get you to do it and so this time it's funny or cute or something if you thought they really didn't want you to do it. Why can't some people just be honest?

I have been perplexed with this all my life. It is very confusing and exasperating. With my efforts in research autism and examining my life, I have concluded it is actually a communications issue. I found that, as an autistic, I perceive the world differently from non-autistic's. I see things they don't and vice versa. That means that I don't get or understand everything they say. I misunderstand them and they misunderstand me. It can be very frustrating.

I have finally realized that they are not being mean, they just don't understand what I understood of what they said.

I have also discovered that verbal communications consist of far more than just words. There is a study that has found that verbal communication consists of more than just words: 38% is tone, 55% is body language and 7% is the words. It is called the 90 Percent Rule. I am very weak on everything but words, so I miss most of what was said. They also miss what I said, because my expressions are not a good match for what I'm saying.