1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

General question for all

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Alex Bogue, Oct 20, 2014.

  1. Alex Bogue

    Alex Bogue Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    129
    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2014
    Karma:
    +110
    Do you feel like it's hard finding the right significant other?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

    Messages:
    3,496
    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2014
    Karma:
    +5,879
    Yes. It took me many years to learn not to rush into things. I have a bad habit falling for people fast. I'm a lot better learning how to control myself.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  3. King_Oni

    King_Oni Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,631
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2011
    Karma:
    +5,253
    Well... "the right" doesn't seem easy, though I seem to have a trackrecord in finding Miss right now pretty consistently, lol. As opposed to Miss right.

    Though in all honesty, I don't really know what Miss right should be like. And I think a lot of people have trouble defining that.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Alex Bogue

    Alex Bogue Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    129
    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2014
    Karma:
    +110
    Oh absolutely. I'm guilty if falling too fast also.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    23,897
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +30,415
    Finding a significant other, period? Yes. Very difficult.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  6. May Black

    May Black Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    328
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2014
    Karma:
    +407
    I have a partner, but finding anyone that's interesting enough for me to want to interact with has always been a struggle. I seem to attract drunks and idiots. =(
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  7. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,906
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Karma:
    +7,208
    It is very difficult to find the right one. However, it is worth it. I have very few friends but without Mrs.clg114, I would be totally lost. You just have to be sure, when you find the right one. That is the trick.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 2
  8. Melissa Kay

    Melissa Kay Grateful Member

    Messages:
    156
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2014
    Karma:
    +452
    Dating is tough. Finding people who are still single is tough too I've found! But, I know that God has a plan. When the time is right, I believe. Hang in there.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  9. Alex Bogue

    Alex Bogue Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    129
    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2014
    Karma:
    +110
    And every gal I've fallen for is too judgemental.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. King_Oni

    King_Oni Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,631
    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2011
    Karma:
    +5,253
    If that's the case, would you think that you might fall for the wrong type of people?

    I had an interesting conversation about this with a woman the other day. She told me she was looking for a certain type of guy, though I pointed out that with her interests, her attitude these guys might not be interested in someone like her and they, in general, would probably be interested in something different that is, at least, not her.

    Wondering who you're attracting and how you present yourself in that sense does play a big part.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
  11. Alex Bogue

    Alex Bogue Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    129
    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2014
    Karma:
    +110
    Good points
     
  12. Kaylee

    Kaylee Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    60
    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2014
    Karma:
    +104
    partners can be a pain to find. the biggest issue i find is finding someone i can trust and be comfortable around, i am not a social and terrible at initiating a convo. i mostly stick to dating sites and i tend to be honest and just let things happen. personally i found the best people tend to be people with issues too. my best relationships have been with people i find it easy to talk to and people i just feel content being around. :) also one of the biggest thing i learned in group therapy once is that we have to be content being alone before we can have a really good relationship. if we only look for a partner then we are less likely to find the right person instead of the person who you can really be with. if you just look for someone to be with. you will end up codependent for them emotionally. which isnt usually healthy or fair for the relationship and the other person
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
  13. Alex Bogue

    Alex Bogue Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    129
    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2014
    Karma:
    +110
    I agree on all that.
     
  14. AsheSkyler

    AsheSkyler Feathered Jester

    Messages:
    3,669
    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2014
    Karma:
    +5,558
    Aye. I seemed to only attract drunk or high losers that would rather bum off their parents than ever even attempt to be useful.

    Then I met my husband. He was interested in me, he was a responsible adult, and I had no issues spending my life with him. I didn't let him slip away.
     
    • Like Like x 6
  15. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    23,897
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +30,415
    I'm inclined to believe it happens more often when you aren't actively looking. That they find you.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  16. Ereth

    Ereth Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,377
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2013
    Karma:
    +2,066
    I agree. I think if you spend too much time looking for a romanticized ideal, you end up not seeing the potential in people right in front of you.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Like Like x 2
  17. Harrison

    Harrison The Mad Taoist

    Messages:
    3,524
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2014
    Karma:
    +5,352
    No, it's impossible.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Etzelaire

    Etzelaire Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    603
    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Karma:
    +496
    Hundred percent agree, I think most people are moved by costum and peer pressure to keep with the same person throughout their lives.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  19. Spiller

    Spiller Just.. WEIRD!

    Messages:
    1,697
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2014
    Karma:
    +3,392
    Totally agree!!
    I just cannot understand other people and the rare time or two I felt I've somehow managed to make a connection (no idea what random expression or word caused that), it turns out not to be what I thought/hoped.
    I don't necessarily want to leap into bed on the first date, getting to know someone and becoming friends first sounds good to me.
    I feel emotions very strongly and when this happens I'm always overwhelmed; ecstatic at first, then anxious.. then devastated when it comes to nothing.
    I hate being like this, I wish I could never feel emotions again.. but that's just me.
    I might get a dog, or a cat :(
     
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Randomperson

    Randomperson The abyss of my mind.

    Messages:
    713
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2014
    Karma:
    +763
    I can define it for my own parameters, it simply does not exist where I can find it. Apparently having 3-5 deal breakers is just too damn picky.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1