General life advice

[Voltaic]

There are things you learn over the years. Things we wish we would have learned sooner to help us through the unecessary tough times. If only we would have known, or follow what we already did know. Wisdom comes from experience, something not all of us have. Starting something new, we are ignorant, but we all start there. The fool is the precursor to the genius, and though many are not geniuses, we know best out of everyone on how to function in our own lives. Even the best can become greater. We all need the words of someone who has done it before to guide us along the way. Though we know ourself best, no one can firmly grasp the complexities of the workings of the world around us. To find our place, some do better than others. Some bow and bend from the stresses of life, some weild what they know as tools to instead bend the world around them to what they see fit. Not everyone can change the whole world, but all of us possess the ability to change the part of the world that affects us.


Knowledge is power. I know, you have heard it many times before, but there is a reason why it is repeated so many times. Knowledge is a tool while intelligence is our own strength. One can be weak bodied in our intelligence, but with the leverage of knowledge, we can increase our strength. A mechanic is nothing without his tools, a person no matter how intelligent, is nothing without knowing the world around him and himself. We are born with what we got, some are better than other at some things, but we all possess the ability to learn. Through learning we grow not just ourselves, but our ability to work this world to what we want it.


I am twenty years old. I am aware of myself as someone new to this world, not yet steeped in the hot waters of life that define us. Though I can see my strengths, I can also see my glaring weaknesses that need to be worked upon. As someone new to this world, especially adulthood, I feel my intelligence is a hindrance instead of a virtue, and my knowledge lacking. I have learned considerably over the course of the past five years. Life lessons not taught in school, but the fires of mental illness. Steel heated losing its strength, but to be tapered and beaten into something stronger. Yet, after all this, I feel as if I know little of use of this world around me, only of myself and how I work. I need guidance, knowledge that you wished you learned when I was my age. Things that took hard lessons to learn. Perception of the world and people around you. Anything of use. For me or anyone reading this.

 

[RosaViolet]

Voltaic, I salute you!

Here is one lesson I sadly lived enough years to share:

There is nothing more powerful than the arrogant privilege and juice of youth, the unyielding entitlement to take the world by storm and put your mark on it, the unhindered belief that the future is as bright as you can make it to be and yours for taking.

Use it my friend. You seem to have great self insight, believe in yourself, rely on yourself and you are unstoppable.

 

[Fino]

I've never found much advice useful, especially the general, life kind. I've always had to experience it myself to understand. I'll do something stupid then remember later, "Oh right, that's the exact thing they told me not to do. Whoops."

A symbolic example of what I've done over and over again:

Wise person: "Don't touch fire, it's hot."

Me: "Yeah, right, ya dumbo, doesn't look hot to me. Looks silly." *touches it* "OW. Nevermind. I guess I won't touch it..."

 

[Markyg]

For me its choice.

And its very very hard very often to believe you have one.

Im 42, awaiting diagnosis and feel happy and balanced, because i believed i had the choice to be this way.

Its taken me over 35 years to really acheive my goal.

Many times i experienced such a sense of bewilderment, sense of being completely lost, alone and at times i have reached out to one particular aspergers lady, at the time not realising anything about myself, other then i related to her suffering.

So i understand that this idea that we all have a choice isnt easy to accept, especially when we're in our own difficult life experience.

That said, choose a more balanced content life. Its your right as a human. You have one life, you have a fundamental right to experience contentment and satisfaction. Choose it.

Choose a working environment that suit you, search for it, find it, embrace it.
Choose people who add to your life, dont worry about the rest.
Choose a pattern in your day which you feel comfortable with.

Im not suggesting its like a switch which magically makes everything ok. It is a road, perhaps a long one. Yet it is i think important to remember when the world is closing around you and seems bent on subjugating you to a dark, smothering, inexplicable place.
There really is a choice.

I chose to one day not feel like that.
It took a while, but now i really dont.

 

[Markyg]

I need guidance, knowledge that you wished you learned when I was my age. Things that took hard lessons to learn. Perception of the world and people around you. Anything of use. For me or anyone reading this.[/QUOTE]

Obviously i just posted, however, on a more personal note as i re-read your post, id just like to add....your going to be just fine!
You appear to have the right attitude and sense of positivity.
Good luck! May the world provide you with everything you (we!) deserve

 

[meepmeep]

The biggest thing for me was:

There's nothing shameful or wrong about having a non-neurotypical brain. Nothing whatsoever. There's also nothing shameful or wrong with designing your life in a way that suits you and your unique requirements. Everyone is different and everyone needs to live their life in a way that is comfortable for them.

I can't tell you how much time I spent being SO terribly ashamed of the fact that my brain was different from other people's brains, or of the fact that my body movements and facial expressions and voice are different from other people's. It was only when I was 30 or so that I went "Wait, what exactly am I so ashamed of?"

Don't wait till you're 30.

 

[tlc]

I could go on and on, as could many of us. Here are some of mine.

Do what makes you a happy and better person. Helping others is good, but don't cut yourself short. You may feel immortal now and you've got all the time in the world, but you WILL get old, and things aren't as easy then. Your younger days will never come back.

Find what you want to do, and go for it. Get experience while you're young. I'm 42 and have over 20 years of engineering experience. It's what I wanted to do and what I was always good at. If I had to change jobs, that makes it easier than being 42 and just starting out. But there are other things I've thought of doing, which would be very difficult to be starting out at my age.

Don't get in a relationship just because you feel it's what people are supposed to do with their lives. (Married, kids, white picket fence, etc.). After years of turmoil, I found my happiest and most productive times were when I was alone. And though I put a great kid into the world, I wrecked the rest of my life for a long time. I'm just finally getting it straightened out.

 

[Fino]

The biggest thing for me was:

There's nothing shameful or wrong about having a non-neurotypical brain. Nothing whatsoever. There's also nothing shameful or wrong with designing your life in a way that suits you and your unique requirements. Everyone is different and everyone needs to live their life in a way that is comfortable for them.

I can't tell you how much time I spent being SO terribly ashamed of the fact that my brain was different from other people's brains, or of the fact that my body movements and facial expressions and voice are different from other people's. It was only when I was 30 or so that I went "Wait, what exactly am I so ashamed of?"

Don't wait till you're 30.

That's exactly what I needed to hear/read right now. I read it like ten times! Thank you!

I wasn't too into this thread at first, but now I like it! Thanks for making it!

 

[AHuman]

My biggest lesson has been to be content with having no really close friends but lots of acquaintances.

I spent a lot of my younger years chasing friendship because I thought I was weird not having a best friend, or close friends at all. At one point I started to become scared of even trying to communicate, because I seriously believed other people could read my mind in my face. I stopped trying to be around people, and succeeded so well I made myself lonely.

Having just one person care about you really is enough. If you don't make friends easily, find people hard to be around and feel drained when you socialise, listen to your body, listen to your mind.

You don't have to be social to be ok.

"People who don't need people are the happiest people" - Scott Adams