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Friends driving me NUTS with assumption I want a romantic relationship

N

nope

Active Member
So I didn't have any friends when I was growing up and I'm not sure if this is normal girl talk, but two of my closest friends (who I hang out with separately) always default to "do you want him?" whenever the mention of a guy comes up.

I'm okay with the occasional, casual mentions of "he's cute," but both of my friends, who I know aren't good with social cues as well, always go to "do you want him?" (whether sexually or romantically). I know I've made similar posts about this before, but seriously: is this a me problem, or do I need to make them stop??
 
I think they need to stop with those type of comments. Perhaps just nicely tell them to stop saying it?

It's certainly not a problem with just you. People tend to repeat things a lot and wont stop sometimes unless they truely know it bothers you.
 
It's not a 'you' problem, it's a 'them' problem. Even when I was single, the few friends I have didn't assume whenever I mentioned someone male, that I must want a relationship with them. Tell them how much it annoys you.
 
I think being in a relationship is the natural default in the minds of most people....they assume everyone wants that. Society encourages it and also encourages the idea that someone who is alone is somehow an outcast. If people can't accept you for who you are then that's their problem.
 
Hi, nope.

[QUOTE=" is this a me problem, or do I need to make them stop??[/QUOTE]

When uncertain in friendship dynamics, I am an old washer on spin cycle with an uneven load of heavy towels.

It helps me ground myself to remember that the only person/behavior I can stop or control is me/mine.

Though this sounds utterly elementary, I still have to drill this catechism when people do/say things that make no sense to me.

My friends are not something I stream on Netflicks.
They don't come with remote controls
to mute their words
or change their channels.

Of course, I can choose other programs.
Sometimes I do.
As the number of friends I have is few,
I sometimes mute my ears
and pretend it's a commercial.
 
nope said:
So I didn't have any friends when I was growing up and I'm not sure if this is normal girl talk, but two of my closest friends (who I hang out with separately) always default to "do you want him?" whenever the mention of a guy comes up.

I'm okay with the occasional, casual mentions of "he's cute," but both of my friends, who I know aren't good with social cues as well, always go to "do you want him?" (whether sexually or romantically). I know I've made similar posts about this before, but seriously: is this a me problem, or do I need to make them stop??
Click to expand...
Ew, can't you tell them to stop? That would be ultra-annoying. Tell them if there's a guy you want you'll let them know (and of course don't because they'd probably put you in the middle of an extremely awkward situation).

Maybe you can try explaining to them you need a very specific things to even be remotely interested in a guy and just somebody walking pass you is not going to do it for you ever at all so they can just stop. Or flip it back on them that obviously they must want him, lol.
 
Maybe you show signs of interest by accident? Even if it's the case it's still rude and annoying... Do they know it bothers you?
 
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