Fitting in with similar mindset

[Aru]

This might apply to a lot of people but just something i've noticed more recently, I seem to only ever be able to make friends properly with people who aren't NT(I hope this is the right wording), I recently have made friends with someone with learning difficulties and such and it's been honestly a LOT easier to make friends with them and we've become close really quick and i can sit and talk about my Aspergers and they will listen and we can exchange issues with our problems and such and lend support. I can't ever seem to do this with an NT and I've noticed this has been a pattern in the past - I talk to someone who is NT and they just sorta.. give you the shrug most of the time when they see me as different then never speak again and move on to someone who is more 'normal' I have met a few nice NT people in the past but things never went too well in the end which is unfortunate

However when i converse with someone with any mental differences i seem to connect really easily? It might be because connecting over problems is a really easy way for me to talk more openly and people who are different or struggle will actually take the time to listen and understand more.. I'm in no way saying NT people are bad or anything i just get the shrug from them far too often and notice that people who are more similar to me are the right sort of people for me to aim at talking to now, This is actually a really amazing thing because all these years i've been just trying to fit in with NT people and things have just never gone very well.. I don't think less of anyone over all this it's more of purely an awakening of who i should AIM at talking to now more than anything, I need to stop trying to ignore that i have Aspergers and act normal for the sake of others and try to find the people who will look past any issues i hold and like me for who i am. I've seen a few topics around this sorta thing but wanted to just share my thoughts on it, Anyway thank you for reading! Take care and feel free to share any thoughts below! (Sorry if i've worded anything wrong in here)

 

[RosaViolet]

Sounds like the moment to uncork the Champagne and to fill the glasses. To you...cheers

It's very liberating, empowering, isn't it?

You may like the theory of double empathy:
The double empathy problem | Network Autism

"Simply put, the theory of the double empathy problem suggests that when people with very different experiences of the world interact with one another, they will struggle to empathise with each other. This is likely to be exacerbated through differences in language use and comprehension.

According to the theory of the ‘double empathy problem’, these issues are not due to autistic cognition alone, but a breakdown in reciprocity and mutual understanding that can happen between people with very differing ways of experiencing the world. If one has ever experienced a conversation with someone who one does not share a first language with, or even an interest in the topic of a conversation, one may experience something similar (albeit probably briefly).

This theory would also suggest that those with similar experiences are more likely to form connections and a level of understanding, which has ramifications in regard to autistic people being able to meet one another.
"

 

[Loren]

Indeed, I feel far more comfortable and tend to get on with ease, with people who have 'mental differences', as well as other differences. I, also, enjoy the company of people who are different to the average person, who I am able to have interesting and deep conversations with, or, simply, sit in silence with, and, people who are different, tend to be less judgmental. It is so much easier to enjoy the company of those who do not judge, and, whom you can tell are enjoying themselves, as well. I haven't attempted to conform or fit in, which has lead to extensive disapproval, rejection, anxiety, but I have become more resilient at this juncture in my life.

 

[Fino]

A lot of my friends aren't diagnosed with anything or have anything specifically different and are pretty much "normal" and get along normal, but all of them have told me that they relate to me, have always felt different, and are drawn towards professions which work with or advocate for those with particular issues.

 

[Progster]

All through life, I have found that most of my friends have been people who are marginalised for one reason or another, but not necessarily on the spectrum or with learning difficulties or other neurological differences. A dyspraxic friend at school, a girl at uni who was neurotypical, but very shy and reserved, a couple of 'gifted' friends or 'geeky' friends from the maths, computing or engineering departments who didn't really fit into mainstream society, also foreign students who were on their own and didn't have many friends. I find it hard to connect to people and to have lasting friendships, I have had very few people in real life that I could call friends as opposed to acquaintances.

 

[Aspychata]

Think when you enjoy being alone, that threatens people around me. That l don't desire to learn anything about you at all. l am older, have met enough people in my lifetime, and enjoy my company as opposed to strange people with ulterior motives, it's just the way it is. Plus l work alot, so alone and down time is a major requirement in my lifetime.

Find that NT people, about 95% are dishonest so l have no desire to meet them. In fact, as aging, being alone is being safe in the end.