You can get the rules for each state online:
States With Specific Autism Mandates
One problem with ABA is it forces children to act normal without addressing the cause of their behavior. Imagine you were a 5 year old girl who thought the world was a bad place or you were depressed or felt safer not talking and your parents sent someone to try to force you to talk and act normal without addressing how you felt. If she's capable of talking, then her lack of speech isn't genetic. There is a reason she's not talking. People act based on their feelings and their feelings are influenced by their beliefs. Forcing ABA on her might make her think you don't care how she feels, that you just want her to act normal to make your lives easier, and she might learn she needs to pretend she's someone she's not to get people to accept her. Some people who go through ABA learn to pass as normal but feel empty inside and suffer from life-long anxiety trying to keep up the act to avoid people finding out they're different and never really feel connected to anyone since they're not being themselves. I think it can be helpful if you pay attention to how she feels and try to figure out how she thinks and what she may be misunderstanding when her feelings or behavior are abnormal.
Autistic traits tend to run in families so if you have autistic traits and don't understand emotions well, you'll want to work on that (I have a post in my blog on alexithymia that should help) because children whose emotional needs aren't met end up suffering from something called childhood emotional neglect which is often unintentional and makes social difficulties worse.
Anxiety is common in autism and may be a factor. She might want to talk but be afraid you'll judge her if she talks or says something wrong. If she sensed disapproval, disappointment, or frustration when she did something odd, she may feel like she's different and that you don't approve of her being different. That can cause her to not want to talk. Regardless of why she's not talking, emotions are extremely important in autism and misunderstandings are very common. It's important she feels accepted and that it's safe to be herself.
