feelings dulled?

[piney13]

Unfortunately,it is not an all aspie world.I tend to sort out many by their intelligence that I keep close to me because we are on the same level. I do not base my friendships on it,so it requires a bit of adjustment for those who are not so fortunate to hold my interest. If the only people I chose to talk to were only auties,it would have narrowed my playing field and my business ventures would have been failures. The idea of an autistic utopia has been discussed here before,but it is my opinion that it would be a failure because it requires all walks of life to form a society,not just a chosen few with their selected style of communication. If you struggle with small talk and don't need it,avoid it,you have that choice

I noticed this when I started talking to others in this forum..before this I did not talk to another Aspie...1 possible adult...and his son.also possible...and in passing once in a while.

 

[Nitro]

Beverly.......similar intelligence seem to understand each better ? That is a good point, I have known and not realized this or been aware of it....Aspies get along better because of an higher intelligence ?
Is it the same type of intelligence that may be common in those with AS ? as there are several different types of intelligence, or is it the amount of intelligence overall...?
I recently got along very well with an NT whose Spatial Intelligence with similar with mine. He was an engineer. We designed and engineered a closet system for him wife...


By Howard Gardner


1. Naturalist Intelligence (“Nature Smart”)


Designates the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations). This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef. It is also speculated that much of our consumer society exploits the naturalist intelligences, which can be mobilized in the discrimination among cars, sneakers, kinds of makeup, and the like.


2. Musical Intelligence (“Musical Smart”)


Musical intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone. This intelligence enables us to recognize, create, reproduce, and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners. Interestingly, there is often an affective connection between music and the emotions; and mathematical and musical intelligences may share common thinking processes. Young adults with this kind of intelligence are usually singing or drumming to themselves. They are usually quite aware of sounds others may miss.



3. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart)


Logical-mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations. It enables us to perceive relationships and connections and to use abstract, symbolic thought; sequential reasoning skills; and inductive and deductive thinking patterns. Logical intelligence is usually well developed in mathematicians, scientists, and detectives. Young adults with lots of logical intelligence are interested in patterns, categories, and relationships. They are drawn to arithmetic problems, strategy games and experiments.


4. Existential Intelligence

Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here.


5. Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart”)


Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others. It involves effective verbal and nonverbal communication, the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives. Teachers, social workers, actors, and politicians all exhibit interpersonal intelligence. Young adults with this kind of intelligence are leaders among their peers, are good at communicating, and seem to understand others’ feelings and motives.


6. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (“Body Smart”)


Bodily kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills. This intelligence also involves a sense of timing and the perfection of skills through mind–body union. Athletes, dancers, surgeons, and craftspeople exhibit well-developed bodily kinesthetic intelligence.


7. Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)


Linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings. Linguistic intelligence allows us to understand the order and meaning of words and to apply meta-linguistic skills to reflect on our use of language. Linguistic intelligence is the most widely shared human competence and is evident in poets, novelists, journalists, and effective public speakers. Young adults with this kind of intelligence enjoy writing, reading, telling stories or doing crossword puzzles.


8. Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart”)


Intra-personal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning and directioning one’s life. Intra-personal intelligence involves not only an appreciation of the self, but also of the human condition. It is evident in psychologist, spiritual leaders, and philosophers. These young adults may be shy. They are very aware of their own feelings and are self-motivated.


9. Spatial Intelligence (“Picture Smart”)


Spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions. Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasoning, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination. Sailors, pilots, sculptors, painters, and architects all exhibit spatial intelligence. Young adults with this kind of intelligence may be fascinated with mazes or jigsaw puzzles, or spend free time drawing or daydreaming.

This is a great example of how intelligence works.

 

[Beverly]

Bev, all good points. I agree with about everything you said. One point I will expand upon.
Since all of us have our unique minds, experiences and thus perceptions, then, perhaps no one deeply understands another and the superficiality of trying to endure the lack of understanding of the dissimilar others, is far more an exercise of expediency and compassion than actual communication.
Speaking for myself only, I strive more to understand me than others.

That is a good point. I think NTs tend to feel the need to discuss and elaborate on what they are feeling where as we don't. In talking with my friend, I know he is hurt, angry, disappointed, stressed to near his breaking point, disappointed with a certain other person and, aggravated with himself for trusting that other person when he should not have done so. He also feels used and taken advantage of, and foolish for how he treated some of his real friends because of the faith he placed in the wrong person.

I have no doubt that an NT would want to tell me everything they felt and why and, draw analogies that made little sense to me but, Not my Aspie friend. He knows I don't need further information to understand why hes slumped and sounding quiet and monotone and, stimmng a lot more that he usually does and shaving his head again. We can discuss possible actions and solutions, and do things that help him relax and feel better without having to talk about feelings which we both understand.

Idle threats and encouragements that won't change the situation are meaningless and pointless. Sitting on the phone without speaking for an hour just to be there as best I can means something. Keeping my phone's Bluetooth headset on at all times so he can call if he needs to means something. A show of solidarity in ceasing all communication with the problem person means something. It all means I care and want to make it right ASAP and, I'm willing to stand by his side at any personal cost, as I have before for him.

We understand that kind of support, silent mostly but there, willing and ready to do whatever is needed of us to make it better and, if that something to do is just be available and shut up, let the troubled one work through it all and get himself sorted in his own time and his own way, then that's caring, understanding and helping more than any words ever could.

NTs don't agree and, think we don't care when we do that. Maybe that's a function of intelligence, or maybe it's just that we are more realistic and grounded about such things and don't see the point of wasting energy on things that do no good any more than we want to hear such things when life is dumping on us.

The problem I have with NTs in similar situation is that they won't tell me what to do that would help, they expect me to know and, since I'm not NT, I cannot possibly know what would work. With another Aspie, I know what would work for me and, it's a pretty safe bet it works for them too so, I don't have to think about it, I just do what works.


EDIT: I feel I need to clarify why I felt it necessary to cease all communication with the problem individual. The problem for my friend, what this individual did and, allowed to happen affects my friend's personal life and career both.

 

[piney13]

That is a good point. I think NTs tend to feel the need to discuss and elaborate on what they are feeling where as we don't.

and we may never understand why we don't or care about to

 

[piney13]

Emotional Dysfunction: Alexithymia and ASD | Musings of an Aspie