feeling isolated and lack control of my life

[jedi]

Hi, as the title suggests. I feel like I'm disconnected and don't have the knowledge/resources to make the necessary changes for a better (more fulfilling) life. I feel like my daily rituals will continue indefinitely and I'm having a difficult time dealing with the frustration and boredom that come from my obsessions, and my life in general. What should I do?
I really want to make my life better, it's just that I don't believe I can change my ways...

 

[squiggle]

One change for the better (easier said than done but possible!) is you could try and eliminate or at least reduce rituals. I guess it depends what they are to how you go about doing it. I've had one for over 5 years now, it's not as bad as it once was as I've tuned it out to an extent. If its an urge that comes on arbitrarily when your bored or your minds not busy, try preoccupying it with something new/interesting may help. If you find it hard to motivate yourself to use new material, finding something that links back to a current interest or conversely a specific area of your obsessions that may be grey or do not know much about to spark an interest. Branching your knowledge/hobby out isn't a bad thing, hopefully it could be something of a snowball effect (i.e. the new interests in turn breed new interests). Even better if one is a commonly shared interest.

If the presence of an object or certain items triggers it, try getting rid of it/changing it/put your self in an enviroment where it is not present (or get someone to do it for you if you can't?). May not rid yourself of the problem but may give you more peace of mind. Sorry if any of this advice seems rather obvious or pedantic, some of its pulled from my own experiences. If you go a few days without doing something ritualistic feel good about it, it's a step in the right direction. If you have a set back don't worry about it, everyone does. Maybe somethings can't be eliminated entirely, but they may at least be possible to cut down somewhat.

 

[jedi]

Thanks guys, I have a somewhat diverse range of background obsessions which I find my way back to when I suffer 'burn out', or become frustrated through spending countless hours at any one of them. At the moment it's chess. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that despite all the time I've spent learning all I can about it that I haven't even achieved a level of expertise that's befitting of the time invested. The problem with finding any new obsession (or rekindling an(y) old one) is that my interest in that/those means those activities predominate my life style. Writing is another obsession I had/have. Sometimes I'm torn between the two, ie, my time invested in one delays my achieving objectives in the other. Sometimes I abandon an obsession and rummage around for a book to read. I find one and get through a chapter or two before deciding to couple it with reading another. It gets to a point where I have a mountain of books with book marks in them and the daily challenge of reading a portion of each one becomes too intense and demeaning in progress.
I'm concerned that my intrinsic rewards will amount to little and I'll feel like I've wasted my life. Also I feel that my undertaking such activities can't be curbed into more beneficial pursuits. I can't see anything great about working a mediocre job, etc. It has to be befitting, stimulating, etc. I can't join the rat race and yet I like cheese. It's a sick world to belong to.

 

[zombiegirl]

Thanks guys, I have a somewhat diverse range of background obsessions which I find my way back to when I suffer 'burn out', or become frustrated through spending countless hours at any one of them. At the moment it's chess. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that despite all the time I've spent learning all I can about it that I haven't even achieved a level of expertise that's befitting of the time invested. The problem with finding any new obsession (or rekindling an(y) old one) is that my interest in that/those means those activities predominate my life style. Writing is another obsession I had/have. Sometimes I'm torn between the two, ie, my time invested in one delays my achieving objectives in the other. Sometimes I abandon an obsession and rummage around for a book to read. I find one and get through a chapter or two before deciding to couple it with reading another. It gets to a point where I have a mountain of books with book marks in them and the daily challenge of reading a portion of each one becomes too intense and demeaning in progress.
I'm concerned that my intrinsic rewards will amount to little and I'll feel like I've wasted my life. Also I feel that my undertaking such activities can't be curbed into more beneficial pursuits. I can't see anything great about working a mediocre job, etc. It has to be befitting, stimulating, etc. I can't join the rat race and yet I like cheese. It's a sick world to belong to.

I do the same with reading. i start one book, add another, and another, and another until I'm overwhelmed and do not finish any of them.

 

[. . .]

I do the same with reading. i start one book, add another, and another, and another until I'm overwhelmed and do not finish any of them.

I do the same with a lot of things. I often will start watching a film, only to put a different one in half an hour later. I do the same thing with video games as well. I seem to get bored of things really quickly.

Edit: I just realized that the OP of this thread is a Spectrumville mod.