Feeling a part of the group

[Droopy]

Do you feel a part of your social circle or group? I have always seen myself as on the outside of the circle so-to-speak. However, with my social life improving a lot this year and me making more of an effort, I find myself getting closer to the centre of it. There's still a long way to go though.

Where do you fit within your circle or group?

 

[CJinherPJs]

Growing up, I never felt I truly belonged in any group. I used to think people didn't like me or want to know me but I found out that wasn't the case. The problem was me not being forward enough, so people might have got the impression that I didn't want anything to do with them. Since discovering this I've been making more of an effort to initiate conversation and so far things have been better.

 

[Sofi]

Well I do not have a group of friends, I just know a few people who I talk to. I have never felt part of a group of friends, I am really bad at friendships.

 

[AIDYsPoetry]

Never. Even still now. My friendships are always online. Never too close or personal. I don't get hurt that way anymore. Just take it easy and I am certain that you will do fine. Because for one thing, you are willing to make the effort.

Good on you

 

[butterfly2]

Well my whole life i never felt part of a group or had a group of friends to hang out with. I was never invited anywhere. Even now i only have one or two friends. The best thing to do is to take small steps in being with other people. Be it at a day centre then probably doing voluntary work in a small place. Watch how people interact with each other and you will pick up a few social skills a long the way so good luck with that.

 

[whale_bone]

Not really. I still find being with more than one person really stressful... So although my friends are friends with eachother and hang out as a group, I usually just see them one-on-one. I avoid parties.

People tell me a lot of confidential stuff. I'm not sure why. I guess because I don't gossip or judge them. And I'm attentive... it's interesting how they talk about others and make sense of social situations... and it's great because I can sneak in a few naive questions that I wouldn't normally feel comfortable asking.

But it's not mutual: I feel silly doing the same thing... my aspiness is not as interesting for them as their neurotypicalness is to me. They get a glazed look in their eyes and ask all the wrong questions. So I don't bother, usually. I just tell them funny-awkward stories. My life is full of those.

And if they might be understanding & attentive one-on-one, they totally forget once we're in a group setting, and they wonder "whats wrong" when they're talking on top of eachother... with the music blaring... and I'm stimming, barely getting the gist of the conversation and want to go home. I also don't like being in groups because people make way more posturing and tell little lies, and it stresses me out when they're not acting the same way as the do one-on-one.