Family denying I have autism though officially diagnosed

[nike007]

Hello. So I was officially diagnosed last weekend, and I haven't seen my dad since that so when I saw my dad this weekend, he says he doesn't think I have autism, though I meet the criteria. I feel like he is comparing me to other people with autism. His girlfriends son has autism and I don't act like him because "if you met one person with autism, you met one person with autism". Maybe it's a denial stage, but should I do something about it? Like, should I point them to resources for girls with autism or something? Thanks.

 

[Warmheart]

There are two autism journeys here. Yours is beginning to get interesting now, as with a formal diagnosis you can get many needed supports in place. Yay! Your world may be about to change for the better, filled with more understanding about yourself and your experiences in this world, plus maybe getting hooked up with some savvy ASD professionals who can bring more supports into your life as you go forward. All good stuff!

The other autism journey here is your Dad's. He will likely need time, your patience, and understanding as he deals with his own blast of emotions this diagnosis has put into his life. He will hopefully grow in understanding of autism being a spectrum condition, and that it presents differently in different people. He will learn at a pace that does not stress him, so that he can remain open to further learning over time. He may be wrestling with painful guilt on a deep, hidden level, or other emotions such as anxiety for your future. Denial and a general lack of understanding might be expected initially. This is likely hard for him, too. Patience may see him growing in understanding with time and space to process this at his own pace.

 

[Judge]

Hello. So I was officially diagnosed last weekend, and I haven't seen my dad since that so when I saw my dad this weekend, he says he doesn't think I have autism, though I meet the criteria. I feel like he is comparing me to other people with autism. His girlfriends son has autism and I don't act like him because "if you met one person with autism, you met one person with autism". Maybe it's a denial stage, but should I do something about it? Like, should I point them to resources for girls with autism or something? Thanks.

It's both likely a matter of parental denial as well as an inability to perceive autism for what it is. A spectrum of traits and behaviors with infinitely different amplitudes. That no one person on the spectrum is the same as the other. It also doesn't help that media projects autistic stereotypes that further muddle an NT's ability to understand autism in a fundamental sense.

But in this instance, I'd wager that his biggest challenge is overcoming parental denial, and to understand that his child is different- but not necessary deficient.