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Does this sound like AS?

L

Lauris

Active Member
So, we have been dealing with behavioral (and other) issues with DS, now age 9, for about 3+ years now.

We, at first, suspected ADHD or ADD, but that didn't feel right at times and his therapist assured us he was not displaying symptoms of either. We continued to be boggled and I recently stumbled upon a video on Youtube explaining Aspergers and we're thinking maybe this MAY be what is going on. We're to the point of feeling desperate for answers since we've tried therapy, socialization, working closely one-on-one, hobby-indulgence, etc.

If it does sound like AS, then we are nervous to do anything that points out his "label" to him and the effect that might have. I've been researching the topic and exploring aspergersexperts.com and I know they say you have to be very careful about how you approach a kid with the topic and that the "traditional system" doesn't work for them. We don't want to tell him in a way that he will feel something is "wrong" with him :( Getting evaluated will certainly tip him off that something is up!

Anyway, here are his "symptoms": (fyi, he is homeschooled, so no "school issues" listed)

Ongoing:

- Obsessive behavior: will play Minecraft for hours, has literally played 8+hrs/day for the last 2-3 years. Other interests are few: My Little Ponies, Pokemon, and Plants vs Zombies. Will talk non-stop about these to anyone who will listen, regardless of whether the person he's talking to is interested or not. If they are interested (or even fake interest, he will talk for 30-40mins at least!).

- Seemingly oblivious of social norms, cues, and hints. You literally have to tell him what it is. He doesn't GET it and people often think he is just rude and disrespectful.

- Clumsy, will fall over his own feet, knock over stuff WAY more often than kids half his age, and hurts himself more often - always seems linked to "not paying attention to where I was going."

- Does NOT remember or even bother to remember household rules: no running in the house (he's over 100lbs already! and breaks stuff when he does!), no yelling indoors, wash hands before eating (actually, he will do NO personal hygiene whatsoever unless we remind him), etc.

- Seems to have no "common sense" - he's say the most confounding things...like he's not even thought about something before asking it. We thought this would improve with age, but it is not, at all!

- Obsessed with food - will sneak food, lie to get it, beg inappropriately to guests, etc. We've worked in a few nutritional directions with him to try different things to bring it home and NOTHING works. He just doesn't seem to care about eating right, healthy, or consequences to eating poorly. Only fear of parental judgement and "rules" reins him in.

- Exercises very little self-control. Seems to "forget" how to act "right" very often.

- Symptoms sometimes alleviated when exhausted from physical/social interaction (why we suspected ADHD).

- Learns fine, but in odd ways. He taught himself most math and literacy skills through Minecraft and other games).

- Makes friends easily, but takes over play/interactions and they are always ego-centric (HIS interests). Friends are never "close" - he has to ask them over and over again what their names are, etc.

- Does not handle emotions well. FREAKS out instead of just getting upset first. Goes from fine to BAWLING/shut down in 5 secs. Will lose it completely over simple things, like DH being a bit frustrated b/c he's trying to show him how to use a broom for the 20th time or put a shirt on a clothes hanger.

Most recently:

- tics (singing loudly to self (same song for days), coughing, snorting) when on computer, and hand flapping/slapping them together, and swing arms around in circles (arm flapping) when talking to someone/walking around.

- We realized recently that much of his "obliviousness" seems to be linked to being "in the zone" or "in another world."

That's about all I can think of for now. I know there is more, but I think it should be enough to get the conversation started. Please feel free to ask questions :)

Thanks in advance! We really are doing all we can to handle this in the best way and trying to not jump to any conclusions, but we need answers and ideas of things we can try to help him. Also, if it does sound like AS, what's your opinion on aspergersexperts.com?
 
My two cents: yeah, kind of sounds to me like Aspergers. (but remember that we are all different, so what is true of one Aspie is not always true of another.) I would recommend that you look into the work of Tony Atwood, one of the best and most understanding experts on the subject.
 
My opinion is what else could it be?
My parents made the assumption that i would "grow out" of my behaviours, as it gave them the comfort of thinking they could change me. It was the most harmful thing that ever came out of their minds. I was put into the public school system, teachers hated my lack of organisation, and i was outcasted as weird.
I say that if even if it is something different, you actually took the initiative to search. My mother would take the opinion of a dietician if it was what she wanted to hear, which was "your son's just an immature asshole."
Glad you didn't make the same mistake.
 
He does seem to have typical signs of AS. I agree, Tony Attwood's book can be quite helpful. There is also a resources section on this website, where you can browse many other books.

Home schooling is a great idea; kids can be cruel sometimes. One piece of advice I would give is to remember that some kids with AS do not initiate conversations well, even with their own family. It's not that they do not wish to speak to their family, but that they may not think to do so, even when troubled with a problem. This would explain him stealing food, rather than asking for it.

Sometimes it may help to ask very specific, and literal, questions you would like to know answers to, in order to learn if he has any troubles, or concerns; for example, rather than using an open ended question, like saying 'how are you?' ask 'do you feel sad? do you feel hungry?' Maybe even establish how he may obtain food, should he want it. Explain to him he can ask for food, and it will be given to him, but be sure to word your sentences carefully. Being consistent, and following through with what you promise, is probably quite important to him, as he may take what you tell him quite literally.

Hope that helps.
 
Sounds like he's definitely on the spectrum of autism to me. Just a matter of whether there are other comorbid conditions to consider as well.
 
Yes, given what youve described, those behaviors are more in line with Aspergers, than anything else. As for the whole label thing, you dont want to be seen to hiding anything from him either. Trust is such an important thing to have, when trying to help your child. He needs to know, despite whatever comes, that youve got his back
 
Thank you so much! I think we are ready to move on to an evaluation, but that will take months since he has to go through the Canadian system (his medical coverage is there) and his mother (I am his step-mother) is there and she will have to approve it as well. She will take awhile to come around to the idea.
In the meantime, we will read Tony Atwood's book and continue to watch aspergersexperts.com to try and help him until we get "official" help. We will keep communication lines open and build trust. We already are careful not to judge and put him on the defensive b/c we noticed it is a trigger, but we are getting frustrated and it's harder, thus why we are seeking help. Thanks again!

EDIT: Oh! If anyone knows how to initiate an evaluation in the Canadian system, please do let us know! We have no idea other than seeing a doctor and starting there.
 
Sounds like AS. I am not a professional, but you sound like you are describing my son! He was diagnosed a month ago. I understand how you are feeling. I can say it was a good thing we explained it to him once he was diagnosed. He seems to feel more realized to know there is a name and a reason for the way he is feeling and acting. I see a change in him. We are still learning everything we can. One day at a time. If you ever want to talk send me a msg. Good luck :)


Our Aspergers Journey | understanding our child
 
Lauris said:
EDIT: Oh! If anyone knows how to initiate an evaluation in the Canadian system, please do let us know! We have no idea other than seeing a doctor and starting there.
Click to expand...

That's pretty much it; that said, you might be put on hold for a while. Just remember that there is no one Canadian system, there are thirteen of them.
 
Lauris said:
Thank you so much! I think we are ready to move on to an evaluation, but that will take months since he has to go through the Canadian system (his medical coverage is there) and his mother (I am his step-mother) is there and she will have to approve it as well. She will take awhile to come around to the idea.
In the meantime, we will read Tony Atwood's book and continue to watch aspergersexperts.com to try and help him until we get "official" help. We will keep communication lines open and build trust. We already are careful not to judge and put him on the defensive b/c we noticed it is a trigger, but we are getting frustrated and it's harder, thus why we are seeking help. Thanks again!

EDIT: Oh! If anyone knows how to initiate an evaluation in the Canadian system, please do let us know! We have no idea other than seeing a doctor and starting there.
Click to expand...

For the Canadian system, he will need to be diagnosed by a child psychiatrist, which means, yes, you will almost certainly need to visit his GP first for the referral for a specialist. As far as I know from my own experience, you can only see a specialist if you have a referral from a) a hospital, or b) your GP. You can't just go to a specialist, because, unlike in America, you don't pay to see your doctors in ANY province. How long this may take and what steps may be necessary will depend on province, of course, but the overall system is the same anywhere.
 
My two cents are like all the others here that it sure sounds like Aspergers to me as well! You DS sounds an awful lot like mine! My son wasn't diagnosed until 9 years of age when my DH and I told our pediatrician that "something is wrong and doesn't make sense" we went to many different dr' sand specialist'! Don't get discouraged if the first one you see isn't helpful or says he isn't autistic! Listen to your gut and find a dr willing to hear you out!! It took our son awhile to "understand" his diagnosis and he still has questions but he tells people his brain is wired different than theirs! :) hope if anything I can relay some strength to you and your family!


Aspiemomof2
 
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