Does it matter what people online think?

[Kit]

This is one of my pet peeves. People who are bothered by when they get talked about online on forums when they don't even go there, those people don't even know the person or know what he or she looks like or never see them. Who cares what someone in Alaska thinks or someone in Egypt thinks when you live all the way here in Oregon. They don't know you, you will never see them, they don't know your name or know what you look like so why does it matter?


My husband has issues with me talking about him but I think I have every right to ask questions online and if he was involved, I have every right to my own freedom. Not have limited speech and have my rights taken away to ask questions. Before I was unable to login again at WP, I posted a question asking if other aspies took the due date literal too on bills and I explained how my husband told me I took it literal and it doesn't mean you have till that day to pay it and he was bothered I was writing that. So we got in an argument about it and he pissed me off and finally he said he never said I couldn't do it, he said he doesn't like it. I posted about this on another forum and people, even aspies were against me. I think it be the last time I post about my issues there if no one is going to understand me. Even they are that silly like my hubby is. It's not like I am posting his full name or address or other personal information.


Gah I am so frustrated my husband tries to limit my speech and make it harder for me and create more road blocks. I careless if my husband talked about me in the game he plays online because I don't play it so why would their thoughts matter? They won't know what I look like or know where I live and who cares what people at their work would think of me if I never see them or know what I look like? It's not like I go to the forum. It's hard to respect someone if they are so irrational. Do they need to make things so difficult?

 

[zeldapsychology]

I agree people shouldn't take what I say to strangers so seriously! LOL! Oh well.

 

[RPM1978]

I agree people shouldn't take what I say to strangers so seriously! LOL! Oh well.

Oh gosh today I was talking about the fact that some guy who sent me a pen pal letter had previously asked me if I like to talk about the topic of sex and I told him it's not a topic I like to discuss and I am a virgin till I am married, and well this guy had the nerve to ask me if I have sex with my fiancee after I already told him I am a virgin till I am married, and the fact I told him he obviously doesn't speak English or is illiterate and what I already told him and I believe I told him about the fact my fiancee got molested as well, so this person I describe this to, is telling me I should not even be talking about this, and that my fiancee is prolly too ashamed to admit it happened to her or whatever.

I mouthed off to this person and said "she already reported it at the therapy center and they reported it to CPS since her step-dad the molester has a 12 yr old living with him."

After this I decided not to even talk to this person for the rest of the day, but I had others telling me I was in the right to talk about it, cause molestation is a serious crime, one such person who told me I was in the right was a molestation victim herself but this person who agrees I am in the right had never told me this till today and she told me how old she was when it happened to her.

Me and my fiancee are both on the spectrum and while I thank God I was never a molestation victim myself, I know at least 4 females on the spectrum who were victims of sexual abuse (1 being my fiancee of course, the other 3 who were also victims, 2 were molested and 1 was raped), but yeah anyone who tells me this stuff should be private should have signs in their yards that say "rape my children we don't care." cause are they gonna say keep it private if their own kids get raped or molested? I really don't think so. I know such a person would he wanting to castrate the rapist or molester.

 

[Ana54]

League Girl, my bf does the ssame thing! I told him, what if I use a different name for me and him, and go on another forum where nobody has heard of either of us, just to complain or ask advice about him. He says he forbids me to do that, or really would hate it if I did that, and I don't know why. There must be some miscommunication between us.

 

[Kit]

I would just go ahead and do it.

 

[Ana54]

But I don't want to hurt him or be dishonest, which hurts the other person too.

 

[Kit]

Fair enough.

 

[BruceCM_Aspergic]

If it don't matter what people online think, it don't matter what everyone here thinks! We're people online, too. If it not matter, why is it a 'pet peeve'? Who made you the sole judge of what is & isn't rational?

 

[Kit]

If it don't matter what people online think, it don't matter what everyone here thinks! We're people online, too. If it not matter, why is it a 'pet peeve'? Who made you the sole judge of what is & isn't rational?

Wow an aspie against me while everyone else in this thread was with me. I suppose you're one of those people who gets so paranoid and worries so much what people think. Seriously just sit back and not care and you be much happier. I quit caring in my teens what people thought of me because they are entitled to their opinion and I was happier since then. It took the pressure off me. If anyone here thinks I'm a jerk or a whiner or an attention whore or rude or self centered or uncaring, they are free to think that. It's not like someone is coming here making stuff up about me. Hey I hear there were hate posts about me at WP and I don't really care, it got my curiosity but I am not hurt about it. They didn't say my name there but it was obvious to someone they were talking about me and he was the one who said so here. But it's possible they could have been talking about someone else and he was just mistaking. Hey the forum mod called me a bully on the other site but he can think whatever he wants of me. We both know whom the mod is I'm talking about here and which forum.


People are free to get paranoid and be irrational all they want but if it effects me it does become a big deal such as what's happened between my husband and I. I was involved. Now if it happened between two other people in another house, not my problem because I am not involved. I feel I have every right to talk about my problems and ask questions. It be like my hubby telling me I can't talk to my parents when I'm upset. That's what my ex tried doing to me so I had to wait till he was gone so I could talk to my parents. But when I talk to them when he be home, he pride in my business wanting to know what we talked about because he was so paranoid what my parents thought of him. Everyone says he was a control freak and my parents thought he was paranoid which was true. It actually controlled his life because he cared so much what strangers thought, what people on a forum thought, and what people thought who knew him such as my parents. I didn't care what his parents thought of me or his grand parents. They all thought I was mildly retarded according to my ex. His grand parents thought I didn't like them just because I didn't talked much but did I care? No. It was just crazy because he made it nearly impossible for me to talk to anyone about my issues. But I didn't let it stop me. I did it anyway. I wasn't going to let his problem get in my way and I did try to teach him to not care and worry so much but he wouldn't listen. That's why it's a pet peeve, because it effects you too by limiting your speech and what you can talk about and it just makes it hard to talk about your issues to close friends or to your parents or on a support board. Everyone needs to let it out.

If you want to think bad of me, go ahead. If you want to think I am trying to be the judge here, go ahead. Think whatever you want of me.

 

[BruceCM_Aspergic]

I'm not 'against you'! Nor paranoid, thanks. If it was just talk about yourself, you're free to say what you like. It's when it's about other people that some restrictions come in. Your husband do have right to not want to talk about himself online. Just cause he feels differently about it to you don't make it 'irrational'. It violate HIS right to privacy when you talk about him, you see. Maybe he shouldn't care what you think?

 

[Kit]

So what if I had an issue at work with someone and I wanted to vent about it. I can't come online and rant about it on a support board or rant about it to my husband or to my parents just because it involves another person? I'm sorry but everyone does this.

Or what if someone were to ask if anyone has ever been picked on? I am not allowed to talk about my past? It involves other people who picked on me so therefore I'd be talking about them. I see lot of talk about people at WP by members.

Or what if someone asked for advice to have sex because that person has sensory issues so she was asking how can she have sex without it being a torture? I can't say how I have it? It be excellent advice if I said how I have it. Sure I'd be talking about myself but my husband might not like it because it involves him.

 

[BruceCM_Aspergic]

So, we all rant! This is about your husband & you do know how he feels about it. If any of the people to whom I've referred wish to, they can read what I've said. I've told the main person involved that I'm asking about these things in forums & he's happy for me to do that!

 

[mikkyh]

Yep. The opinions of others can actually make me feel really depressed, especially when they're about me.

 

[Chris]

It depends if the person commenting online has any reputation. For example, if said person is well-spoken or has a large following at a forum, what they say will usually hold some truth. That can be hurtful, although that kind of person won't usually be destructive in what they say.

Insults from 'nobodys' break like water on rock, to me.

 

[Emor]

Yep. The opinions of others can actually make me feel really depressed, especially when they're about me.

Same. It's stupid to think just because you're ignorant of someone's culture and country that their opinions are invalidated.
It does depend who it is though. If someone's notorious for bashing people, then clearly that decreases the validity of their claims.
But if it's someone I've know for years I've actually got extremely depressed for as long as a week tbh.
People I know online know me better than people who know me irl, imo. So their opinions pertaining to me and my personality mean more. Even if our means of communication is unconventional(why should that mean anything anyway?).
EMZ=]

 

[rikk]

The net is an amazing tool for communication,it's great to be able to interact with people from so many

different places and backgrounds.

I try not to take any of this too seriously though,these are just words in cyberspace and can have no real impact

on anybody for the most part.

A former friend of mine actually got so upset over some meaningless argument on a forum that he and another

dolt were planning to fly across the US find the guy and assault him.

Common sense finally took hold and he abandoned that plan but I still cut off the friendship.

Let's try to keep all this in perspective people!

 

[Kit]

The net is an amazing tool for communication,it's great to be able to interact with people from so many

different places and backgrounds.

I try not to take any of this too seriously though,these are just words in cyberspace and can have no real impact

on anybody for the most part.

A former friend of mine actually got so upset over some meaningless argument on a forum that he and another

dolt were planning to fly across the US find the guy and assault him.

Common sense finally took hold and he abandoned that plan but I still cut off the friendship.

Let's try to keep all this in perspective people!

No offense but what your friend planned to do was pathetic. It's good your friend backed out of it though.

 

[Ana54]

Why cut off the friendship? ASnd you have no right to say who has common sense and who doesn't because the guy could have been really depressed.