Hey
I know all too well what you're talking about, and agree with Judge; there are a few out there who would go out of their way to manipulate you. There may be times when you think this is all that's out there, but it's actually a lot more complex than that.
Being an Aspie, we tend to feel lost in this NT world; like stumbling around in a thick fog. Because of this, we so often trust in others to do right on to us. Unfortunately, this can be detrimental to us. If we don't know how to keep our wits about us, we end up like lambs, wondering aimlessly in to a lions den. This is a trait that appeals to certain 'predators', and attracts them to us, like flies to honey, as we've only made they're job so much easier.
There are many different terms used for them, but the one I'm most familiar with is Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Google this if it helps shed some light in what you could potentially be dealing with, but to sum it up, it's almost like being Rapunzel, only your knight in shining armour has the persona of your evil step mum.
I recommend reading Aspergirls, by Rudy Simone; there is a section about what I'm talking about there. You can purchase the book from the online store called the book depository, which offers great discounts, and usually also includes free shipping.
My general advice would be to learn to see the right patterns between your predators; overly charming, or overly nice, wanting to know everything about you and your deepest, darkest secrets early on, being pushy about what they want; even if you don't want it, guilting or manipulating you in to doing what they want.
That hot and cold tactic you referred to is a tool they may be using to drawn you in closer towards them. It is very affective in causing you to feel more desperately in love with them. The way it works is it gets you used to a certain kind of heightened love, which affectively becomes addictive, like a 'drug'. Once you're hooked, they yank it away from you, for no apparent reason, but we don't see this. We think we've done something wrong, and so for the fear that we may loose someone so seemingly good to us, we tell them we are willing to do anything, just to feel that heavenly sense of safety, and comfort once more. We become addicts, and have withdrawals when separated from our newly found addiction. This is what they want. This is how they control you.
Arm yourself with knowledge, and always put your own safety and happiness first. This will better ensure you and your heart are protected.
I hope that helps.
