Do you think autistic adults can get jobs involving social skills?

[BruceCM]

Well, I've got 'good communication skills' for workplace things; I was a waiter for a year & have done lots of customer-service in call-centres. Am I really the only one that'd see a huge difference between most work-related discussions & most socializing? Especially if you're supposedly 'friends' with them, although you didn't get to decide about that!

 

[King_Oni]

IT's one of those things I kinda "ranted" about at various topics on this forum. It's the, what I call "secondary employment requirements". I can deal with a lot of stuff that applies to the job, as appointed to by an agency. It's where a boss fired me for not being social enough or just being plain "weird" by having my own interests and all (and only spending a few minutes on enjoying them in my lunch breaks).

I could have good communication, up to levels were I told supervisors the inner workings of some supply chain software they were using. It kinda set a decent workflow for me. Through "skill" people didn't have to ask me much and could pretty much assess the problem and fix it. However, that kind of "skill" or interest at your job is nullified if you do not want to share in the casual conversation about "what I did last night". I feel it's none of their business to ask... and even more if the actual truth is likely to put more of an emphasis on "look how weird he is", and I would rather get treated more like an outcast just for being me.

Which in my book are 2 good reasons why I don't want to neccesarily communicate with my co-workers that much. That, and... I actually don't even care about the life of others that much. I rather discuss existensialism than last nights game, or discussion with their significant other, even if it's among co-workers at some assembly line kinda job.

It's that disinterest which deemed me "not social enough" to be working in groups. I don't feel I can force myself to just like something because it's common courtesy (where I rather discuss why something is common courtesy even, among co-workers)... if that was easier, my life took totally different directions for as much as 15 years ago. It's also that this kind of "wondering" got people who actually had to work with me, end up at Human Resources and eventually a therapist, because they got depressed... cause I apparently put thoughts in their heads they couldn't handle, yet it's that kind of wondering, that puts a smile on my face on a daily basis. So, to that extent I might even be a hazard as a co-worker, lol

 

[BruceCM]

Some of this must be British versus American culture? I never had any great problems with work-related stuff. There wasn't much time for other discussion & I usually don't mind a little 'what did you do last night' stuff. I wouldn't think you had to force yourself to like something because it's common courtesy; my objection to most 'common courtesy' is that it conveniently doesn't usually apply to most other people! But that was not a problem at work, that's other socializing, hence my seeing a huge difference!

 

[King_Oni]

Some of this must be British versus American culture? I never had any great problems with work-related stuff. There wasn't much time for other discussion & I usually don't mind a little 'what did you do last night' stuff. I wouldn't think you had to force yourself to like something because it's common courtesy; my objection to most 'common courtesy' is that it conveniently doesn't usually apply to most other people! But that was not a problem at work, that's other socializing, hence my seeing a huge difference!

Well, most places I worked, there was some room for people to chat during work. Granted, you might get told to shut up if production went slow, but in general there was quite some chatting around. The fact that stuff like that is possible doesn't irk me as much, it's rather the level at which people are down to talk. Granted it might be an "aspie-ish" trait to be all up in details about something, but if someone talks about "some movie" I just can't stand listening to his superficial rambling which starts at "I don't remember the name" up to not noticing details in said movies.

I understand your point on common courtesy, yet, I think it's arrogance of society to expect that this "concept" applies for everyone, without any exceptions. Usually there's the "well, don't take everything as a given"... I agree, but then by all means, apply this sentence to everything. Do not expect people who are smart to be social as well, do not expect people that write a decent application form, to express themselves verbally as well, do not expect someone with a PhD. in math, to dumb down to I don't know what kinda levels... really... just do not expect anything. But that's a really bitter pill for most people to swallow.

 

[BruceCM]

Particularly while I was a waiter, as that was live-in, there was 'socializing', too but then I used to drink & smoke dope, which did help with that. I don't drink & can't afford the dope much, now, though. In other work, there was some 'chat', in breaks or whatever; I didn't necessarily 'listen' to most of it & personally didn't mind it being 'superficial', there. The difference you're talking about goes beyond AS v NT, you must realize by now? Hopefully, with you artistic skills & stuff, you've found some work you can do well? Most people will be totally incapable of really seeing what you're on about is the problem! If you can find a few people to have those sorts of discussions with, you'll be doing a lot better than I've managed. Then, maybe, you won't be so bothered by 'normal' people being, relatively, idiots; they can't help that, any more than you or I can help our AS, etc.

 

[King_Oni]

Particularly while I was a waiter, as that was live-in, there was 'socializing', too but then I used to drink & smoke dope, which did help with that. I don't drink & can't afford the dope much, now, though. In other work, there was some 'chat', in breaks or whatever; I didn't necessarily 'listen' to most of it & personally didn't mind it being 'superficial', there. The difference you're talking about goes beyond AS v NT, you must realize by now? Hopefully, with you artistic skills & stuff, you've found some work you can do well? Most people will be totally incapable of really seeing what you're on about is the problem! If you can find a few people to have those sorts of discussions with, you'll be doing a lot better than I've managed. Then, maybe, you won't be so bothered by 'normal' people being, relatively, idiots; they can't help that, any more than you or I can help our AS, etc.

Yeah, I am aware that it's (at least with me) more than just AS vs. NT.

As for my "skills", I can't really land a job in that field, and it's not only because I have no degree in something like that. For a big part it's because this area of the country (the south-east of Holland... the boot, lol) there isn't a lot going on for creative jobs. Most people I know, that kinda "succesfully" landed a career in arts or anything live up north. It's easier to settle in with people there in those fields I guess. I'm kinda sorting out my own financial crisis for the past few months and saving money along the way, so I hopefully can make a transition to move up north from here.

As for finding people... I do have a friend. I have a lot of interesting conversations about a lot of stuff. Mind you, he has an official diagnosis, and actually is on the spectrum. And another "friend" is pretty much the same deal as me... in between of getting a diagnosis. It just is really "tough" if you notice that the only people you actually can have an understanding conversation with are people closely related to ASD. And this forum is no exception actually... I have a lot of intersting conversations with people on here about the most diverse topics, something I can hardly manage on "normal" forums.

 

[BruceCM]

Well, I hope you can move, then & soon! Yeah, it'll be tough & I can hardly tell you most of this is likely to get much, if any, easier, sorry. It should help, a bit, if there's forums with some people you can discuss stuff with & especially if you've even one friend offline. One real friend is supposed to be worth thousands of acquaintances, I gather. There any other help/ support becoming available in Holland? As for the 'degree', I'm sure that part can be got around; surely, just show them some of your stuff; not that I can say how good it is or not but they don't need a qualification, if they can just see egs like that, at least! I'm no artist, maybe there's some around here who could give more constructive feedback on that side.

 

[King_Oni]

Yeah, that'll be another year or so when I can move. Saving money takes time To some extent it kinda limits my current situation to employment, because I know I have to leave this area to get somewhere in life. Just geographically this part of the country is kinda isolated. Yes, I can reach out to germany for stuff, friends, activities and stuff like that, but I feel that especially the alternative lifestyles and cultures are really different, which is good for inspiration, but not good to actually "land a product" so to say. It is quite a pain to think about the few friends I have and that I'm somewhat leaving them, but to be honest, they have a rather large group of "friends" so I don't know if I am that significant in their social group. Besides with all the online stuff, we could keep touch. Also, I think I just need to break away from my parents with a bigger distance. If I would stay in this town it wouldn't change a lot. My parents wouldn't understand that I have my own life (at least, not any more/less than they do now).

As for services in Holland. The government based employment office which does the entire social security thing is kinda grey into disability usually. They do not have that much to offer if you're not, pardon the expression " retarded". There's not a lot they can do for people who are quite smart but have some kind of mental disability. There's social workplaces, but those are usually reserved for the kind of people that can do minor assembly line work and not for people who can actually bring a decent argument or set of skills to the table. I've come to see that all the stuff they could offer me is no better than when I was in college, meaning that if they set me up to follow courses for any jobs they might offer me, I could've just did that in college. It's not knowledge or being mentally capable, where the problem lies, and that kinda is where they stress it and think it's where the problem lies. Autism, and even more high functioning, is a thing they can't really handle. Because for a part, it's what I expressed earlier, it's not the job/task they have to do, it's all the stuff around it. Treatment at work, informal requirements, stuff like that. And actually, me not owning a car, nor a license to drive one doesn't really work favors. Yet I had lessons, I just had a really, really big problem with anticipating situations on the spot, which should kinda say something about certain jobs, I'm probably not fit to work... but that underlying layer is kinda forgotten.

As for a degree, yeah, I don't think I need it. If I look at people who actually went to art-school... they regretted it because it kinda took away their passion and feel for their craft. It would take away a big part of why I like art, which is actually self-expression. It would look really clinical if I were to reason on why I use this green, instead of that green... heck, it's just because I feel it looks good, not because it's the exact opposite based on calculations and the color wheel. Also, if I look at a friend of mine, who I've known for about 10 years now. He was 16 when I met him, he dropped out of high school, never attended college, lived a bit as a squatter with friends and now runs his own "company" providing live art performances. I had a talk with him about it once, but it kinda came down to "well, if I weren't living in this area, I wouldn't really have the options I had now"... and he's definitely not living in this area.

Also, for artists there's benefits as well, though they are put on halt coming 2012. It kinda comes down to the government telling artists to do their craft besides a 40 hour job. That kind irks me a bit. Not that I could apply for it right now,but it makes that kind of future a bit more problematic. And even more because I'm quite idealistic and don't believe in commerical art. But yeah, to apply for it you should at least made some name for yourself, which is hard enough to in this area to begin with. I know some people who have those benefits and are musicians... I've spend time in some bands, and while I'm not saying I/we were good, if it were on a longer stretch, it might have gotten more name and all to itself. Though you are quite dependant on how much others want that kind of life, and finding people who are confident about making music as an art, even if it means not having all kinds of luxury is something a lot of people I worked with, weren't really up for.

But this thread is becoming more and more a conversation about me, lol... not that I mind that much, but I might as well make my own thread. Just sayin... however, perhaps people can get some clear and good thoughts on employment and all in general, even if it is with me as an example.

 

[BruceCM]

OK, move most of it elsewhere, if you like! Potentially, your stuff might (for all I know) appeal more to foreign markets; certainly, finding out more about them can only help. You're bound to know that plenty of artists whose work is now valuable didn't do too well in their own lifetimes, of course? And quite what makes some art so valuable is a mystery to me; you'd not get me paying pennies for a Picasso, for instance! Not saying his stuff isn't 'good' but I don't like it & I'd not want it on my walls. In any case, I can't afford that sort of stuff but if anybody else has the money & thinks it's worth it, that's their choice, no skin off my nose! Hopefully, some useful guidance there, we'll see.

 

[inflammablefish]

I have a social job and I don't really mind it at all, except there's a reason why. I work with children and about 3/4 of them are autistic so we kind of understand each other. And even the 1/4 that aren't autistic, it's fine as well. Something about communicating with a child is so much different than trying to be social with an adult. Maybe it's because aspies never grow up The only part I really can't stand is the 5-10 minutes I need to spend talking to the parents about the things we worked on in the session, but I can handle that for such a brief amount of time.

 

[Arashi222]

So I have a part time job that I have had for 11yrs at a local grocery store and I went to school and became a LGSW (licensed grad social worker) Still trying to get a permanent job in as an Social worker but yes I think we can get jobs in a social field. One of the reasons my supervisor in my internship suggested I get tested was because he thought I had a unique perspective and that I could use that to help people. I tend to agree, sometimes it helps to let other people who are struggling know that it hasn't been a cake walk for you either. I think working in the customer service fields have made me practice those social skills that I would rather just let dwindle because it is hard. I'm sure others agree?:cute:

 

[Ste11aeres]

My friend with Aspergers has a job that requires constant social skills. He has beautiful social skills. We can learn those skills, we just usually do so later in life than other people. He is in his forties.

 

[Loomis]

My friend with Aspergers has a job that requires constant social skills. He has beautiful social skills. We can learn those skills, we just usually do so later in life than other people. He is in his forties.

I agree. I think we are not very good at figuring out how to go about learning the social skills and that slows us down. I also believe we mostly are not motivated to learn the social skills as well. In my life I learned what I had to so I could function in my job.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I was a bagger at a grocery store for almost two years. People told me I did a good job on my tasks, but dealing with the customers was hard, and so were the vague verbal instructions I was occasionally given. Now that I've moved I want a job that's physically active but not social.

 

[Jacki Cucinotta]

Of course!!!!! I'm pretty sure we are capable of any job to some degree. It really depends on how comfortable we are in that type of job. Bottom line: there's no reason to say we CANNOT get in these kinds of jobs as we might all have some capability; it's the degree of capability that might affect our prospects in entering a field that requires many social skills. Besides, each one of us is different in our own unique way.

 

[jimited]

I had a job in a hardware store once, my main role was stacking shelves with hardware, and with this job I was a customer adviser which involved helping customers with their inquiries, I was ok with this as it didn't involve much chit chat. The most frustrating thing I found working there, well anywhere in fact is that work colleagues are happily chatting with each other, I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in and end up feeling isolated and start to resent my job.

 

[gregmcph]

I had a job on a help desk, which involved making many many phone calls every day. It was the most stressful job of my life. Working as a cleaner in a hospital and cleaning up awful disgusting messes was far easier.

I look at waiters pushing through crowds, in the constant buzz of people, and I know that job would send me into disintegration. I couldn't handle hours of that.

 

[anne.bc]

I would love one! As a High Functioning case, I feel like I'd be a natural at it! Especially with all the improvements I have instilled for myself in the last decade. I'm like night and day when it comes to socializing now.

 

[J11]

Hi, I am new here - and yes totally agree with you. I also had to teach myself social skills. I still get wrong (a lot) but I think it is important to don't give up. Due my life circumstances (lack of support) I had no other option - but to give all I could in order to adapt and learn. If you observe others (NT's) and practice it may improve over a period of time - with patience. It work for me. However, I agree with an earlier post saying that it is exhausting. I guess, I usually prioritise so that I am don't end up completely overstimulated (meltdown). I try to balance my work and personal life in such way that I can have some time to 'recover'. I don't always succeed, but as long as I can invest on my special interest, it gives me the motivation to carry on.

 

[Kraftiekortie]

It does seem as if many Aspies succeed in jobs requiring one to be "social." That's wonderful: it means the diagnosis is not a death knell for success in the working world. Indeed, many people are clueless about your particular interests--all they want to discuss (whether at work or at play) is what is happening in the mass media. Discussions of modes of dress, of "wardrobe malfunctions," of whether one "dissed" somebody at some social function seem to predominate. What we should do, as Aspies, is to listen without showing judgement, and learn from what these people say. As Gardner (I believe that's the person's name) stated, there are 8 different types of intelligence. Each cannot live without the other.