Do group homes let you leave?

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

An HF autistic friend of mine may be going into an "assisted living facility"; mostly to get away from his abusive parents. But I don't know, I've always been under the assumption that "assisted living facility" is just a euphemism for a group home.

He says he doesn't want to get out of one "prison" (his abusive parent's home) just to go to another. He claims this place will let him have his own room and bring his rabbit with him. The own room thing I can believe, but do group homes let you bring pets? I wonder if the representative wasn't just lying to him in an attempt to gain his trust. I've had people say things to me in order to sweet talk me into staying there or just to shut me up, then once I agreed to it, I was told that wasn't even possible but it was too late for me to get out of it.

But then whenever I heard the words "group home", I panic. He's mostly going there to get away from his parents who abuse him. Maybe this is some kind of "shelter" for abused teens? He's 18 but still in the school system. He also said he would be allowed to finish high school.

I've also heard horror stories about group homes where once you get in, you're stuck there for life. I've also heard about a woman in one that wants to learn how to drive a car and get more hours at her job, but the group home won't let her.

My friend wants to go to college eventually, but he's worried that if he agrees to go into this place that he can forget about that. He wants to know if the group home will let him leave when he graduates high school.

 

[the_tortoise]

I think that generally if it is your choice whether or not to move in, it will also be your choice whether or not to leave.

 

[SusanLR]

You need legal council to accurately answer that.
At least a Social Worker or Case Worker.
It varies from place to place from what I've heard and read.
There are usually legal papers to sign, much like a lease,
stating terms, rights, rules and yes, length of time.

 

[Bolletje]

Group homes have their own house rules, so there’s no “blanket answer” to your question.
A friend of mine lived in a group home with minimal supervision where he could come and go as he pleased. However, he had a severe manic episode and needed more supervision for his own protection, so he was moved to a group home with a curfew and more strict rules.

 

[KImi]

I'm not sure if he's in US and they are similar to over here but surely if he has somewhere else to go (to leave the facility after graduation) they would have to let him go?

Maybe he could get it in writing that they will allow him to finish school, he can then use his time at school and 'study time' in library to also do his own research on how he could get his own place for when he graduated and any funding for a PA that he may need?

Is there a 'social housing' equivalent could he get a place through such a scheme and a cleaner or someone to help?

 

[Mary Anne]

Some group homes absolutely DO allow pets. He should find out the process for leaving the home when he eventually wants to. If this is the person you have spoke about previously, I commend him on making this wise decision! YAY! He will most likely have a positive experience in a group home. He can socialize with his peers, and hopefully be connected to external social service programs such as supportive employment, independent living skills, and counseling.

There many classifications of “assisted living,” “supportive housing” and “group homes,” so I would do research. Can he talk to the residents there? Group homes can be a tremendously POSITIVE step in gaining independence. Some have minimal management. Others are more tightly managed. There are all types of group homes. I work with some cognitively challenged folks who love living in a group home! They have their own rooms, are served prepared meals daily, and are taken to all their appointments. I work with others who lived in “sober” homes where the rules were very tightly managed so that everyone could recover from substance abuse.

In Illinois, people had to fight through an enormous legal process of the Supreme Court to be able to get out of “nursing” homes. The resulting legal acts are the Williams Concent Decree (Chicago/Cook County), and the Colbert Concent Decree (the rest of Illinois). It’s against the law to force people to live where they don’t want to, unless they are medically unable, or of danger to society or themselves.

I would encourage your friend to do it. There are no better alternatives at this stage in his young life. I agree with SusanLR in doing the research, having outside support such as a social worker or school counselor, and understanding the home’s rules, and exit criteria before signing on.

 

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

Doesn't matter anyway, the group home in question apparently only takes those with an IQ of 70 or lower. The father is also possibly now abusing the rabbit in order to intimidate my friend. There was a large wooden spoon on her cage this morning and the rabbit never was skittish but now she is.

 

[Judge]

Doesn't matter anyway, the group home in question apparently only takes those with an IQ of 70 or lower.

"The American Association on Mental Retardation defines someone as mentally retarded if they 1) have an IQ below 70-75; 2) are limited in two or more adaptive skill areas (daily living skills needed to live, learn, work, and play in the community); and 3) if the condition is present from childhood (defined as age 18 or younger). An estimated seven million mentally retarded people live in the United States.

Mentally retarded individuals have the same legal rights to marry, drive cars, and own homes as any other American, says Dr. Richard Redding of the University of Virginia's Institute of Law, Psychiatry, and Public Policy, and they need not pass any competency tests. So long as a mentally retarded individual can pass the DMV tests, he may drive a car; so long as he can pay the rent, a mentally retarded person may live where he pleases."


What Are the Legal Rights of the Retarded?

 

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

"The American Association on Mental Retardation defines someone as mentally retarded if they 1) have an IQ below 70-75; 2) are limited in two or more adaptive skill areas (daily living skills needed to live, learn, work, and play in the community); and 3) if the condition is present from childhood (defined as age 18 or younger). An estimated seven million mentally retarded people live in the United States.

Mentally retarded individuals have the same legal rights to marry, drive cars, and own homes as any other American, says Dr. Richard Redding of the University of Virginia's Institute of Law, Psychiatry, and Public Policy, and they need not pass any competency tests. So long as a mentally retarded individual can pass the DMV tests, he may drive a car; so long as he can pay the rent, a mentally retarded person may live where he pleases."


What Are the Legal Rights of the Retarded?

That particular home won't take him because he doesn't have a low IQ.

 

[Judge]

That particular home won't take him because he doesn't have a low IQ.

The point is that he has choices, whatever his IQ may be. The state cannot arbitrarily take away one's most fundamental civil rights and civil liberties as it once could some years ago.

Just as legally committing a person to an institution of any kind these days is much more serious and difficult to formally adjudicate than in the past.

 

[Mr Allen]

Assisted living Facility = my idea of hell on Earth.

I tried the whole "shared living" thing when I was a student 25 years ago, and hated it, it was bad enough being from Yorkshire in a College full of Londoners, talk about the North/South divide, I wouldn't mind but my accent was a LOT softer aged 17 than it is now and I still got stick from the London crowd.

I also hated the fact that there was literally 2 bathrooms in the Main Hall between about 200 students, so if you woke up in a morning bursting for a wee, as I do, you could never get anywhere near the bathroom unless you got up a LONG time before anyone else did.

Also, about 12 years ago, before I got the Flat where I live now, I was offered a local shared Flat with 2 other guys, I was a bit against it due to problems as outlined above but I went ahead with meeting the 2 guys for a Beer and a game of Pool in the Florist, and then a few weeks later we had a big meeting in Town with the owners of the Flat and the guys' Parents, the meeting was a complete wash out as I couldn't help but air my disdain for shared living and the guys' Parents took the nark with me for it, leading to me walking out of the meeting and having a full blown meltdown in front of my Parents shouting "WTF just happened?!"

Fortunately about 3 weeks later Mum got a call from the Social worker, to set up an interview with the local Housing Association about moving into one of their Flats, where I live now, and the rest, as they say, is history.