Dating

[lorric123]

Hi all.

This is probably a random question, but how do you see people? Like relationships and stuff. :unsure:

I'm 20, and never really had a relationship. I am very happy to settle with the ''it's not a race'' (as my dad often tells me) but it seems I've got the physical part pegged, but I cant seem to get the emotional bit right. Thanks to this I seem to have a lot of sexual partners notched on my headboard, but no real partners. I had a partner for a few months but it wasnt fab. :{

Just, how are you supposed to act. What are you supposed to do? It seems veerrrrrrrryyyyyyy complicated.

Swear this aspie not-understand stuff is hard sometimes. Huffums. :banghead:

Ta :wavespin:

 

[King_Oni]

I don't know if the emotional thing sets in automatically. For what it's worth, there's a big difference between physical and "emotional" bonding in relationships, and a lot of people at some point don't get it right. I don't know if that's an exclusive aspie thing.

I actually think that it's more important to find someone that accepts you for who you are, and if that means you're not that emotionally involved, so be it. In my personal opinion I think it's silly to conform to emotional standards of others, even if you have to go out of your way as such. Be yourself. I know all too well how it is to be involved with someone for a long time and at the end of the ride this person wasn't necessarily all I thought she was. And thinking back about that I'm willing to say "If only she was clear about this from the start, it wouldn't matter as much as it does now, since at least I knew what direction I had to take said relationship".

Here's an interesting thought for aspies and emotional reciprocity; Most people want honest emotional involvement, something that comes natural. And there's a lot of people that can actually see through the acting, and in fact make a fuss about you faking it. So unless you have a way be naturally emotionally involved with stuff the way non-aspies are, I think it's hard... and even harder because some people will just not settle for acting and they want people to just be like this naturally.