Conversations

[chinaberry]

Do people sometimes feel like there's no point in having conversations with people? Like whatever you try you're not going to reach common ground with them so there's no point? So all you ever make is small talk, which isn't easier said or done....
It's just it seems like so much effort to think of things to say and put them in a good order to say them in to other people, even if it's one of your favourite things to think about and you could go on and on about it. I'm not saying that people couldn't possibly get up to my level so there's no point in me wasting my time- not at all, I'm just saying that it's hard when you're going at it from two different angles and...well, anyway. Does this sound familiar at all?

edit:

I don't think I explained it well. I just mean that it's not worth putting in so much effort (as BruceCM says, navigating your way round a face to face talk is hard enough) for something which is just you putting forward what you think...occasionally it can help to throw ideas round with other people, but you have to be comfortable enough with these people to get to that stage!

 

[BruceCM_Aspergic]

Yep! When there are SO many ways for people to misinterpret and misunderstand you, it's impossible. Since most of those are, effectively, your fault but there's no real help with sorting any of them out. As you rarely find out what the hell people are on about with all their nonsense. Asked here and not got anywhere, for instance.

 

[Sean2222]

Do people sometimes feel like there's no point in having conversations with people? Like whatever you try you're not going to reach common ground with them so there's no point? So all you ever make is small talk, which isn't easier said or done....
It's just it seems like so much effort to think of things to say and put them in a good order to say them in to other people, even if it's one of your favourite things to think about and you could go on and on about it. I'm not saying that people couldn't possibly get up to my level so there's no point in me wasting my time- not at all, I'm just saying that it's hard when you're going at it from two different angles and...well, anyway. Does this sound familiar at all?

edit:

I don't think I explained it well. I just mean that it's not worth putting in so much effort (as BruceCM says, navigating your way round a face to face talk is hard enough) for something which is just you putting forward what you think...occasionally it can help to throw ideas round with other people, but you have to be comfortable enough with these people to get to that stage!

Of course I feel that way. I have faced the same realities over and iver where no matter what I said or did wa spointless on a social level and even on learning levels as well. You try so hard to do the right thing and to do somehting that might succeed while everyone else around you does everything in 2 seconds, puts minimal effort in (while you put 500% effort just to finish the activity) and end up getting nothing out of it. This thread just swims in negativity because there is really nothing constructive in rehashing the harsh realities of what we live with everyday.

 

[smithgirl656]

Do people sometimes feel like there's no point in having conversations with people? Like whatever you try you're not going to reach common ground with them so there's no point? So all you ever make is small talk, which isn't easier said or done....
It's just it seems like so much effort to think of things to say and put them in a good order to say them in to other people, even if it's one of your favourite things to think about and you could go on and on about it. I'm not saying that people couldn't possibly get up to my level so there's no point in me wasting my time- not at all, I'm just saying that it's hard when you're going at it from two different angles and...well, anyway. Does this sound familiar at all?

edit:

I don't think I explained it well. I just mean that it's not worth putting in so much effort (as BruceCM says, navigating your way round a face to face talk is hard enough) for something which is just you putting forward what you think...occasionally it can help to throw ideas round with other people, but you have to be comfortable enough with these people to get to that stage!

that is true for me and if i think it might be pointless to try and say something i won't say anything, even if it might help the others, i would rather just sit there

 

[smithgirl656]

. This thread just swims in negativity because there is really nothing constructive in rehashing the harsh realities of what we live with everyday.

maybe but it is nice to know that others are having the same problems as you

 

[chinaberry]

This thread just swims in negativity because there is really nothing constructive in rehashing the harsh realities of what we live with everyday.

Sorry, just wanted to know if other people had this too.
As I said in my first post i.e. "does this sound familiar at all?"

 

[Sean2222]

Sorry, just wanted to know if other people had this too.
As I said in my first post i.e. "does this sound familiar at all?"

Next time, don't insult my intelligence by only quoting one miniscule part of the message. You choose to look for negativity and points to argue with people. I hate when people do that because it just shows they are combative and looking to argue with others over everything. Nitpickers that like to pick fights because they don't have enough constructive ideas of their own. You aren't the first, but it never gets any less annoying, trust me. I take it that in real life someone says something to you and you ignore 95% of what they say and just repeat back the last line that you disagreed with? If you did that, nobody would even give you five seconds to talk to them whatever the situation was. That's your choice. I think my response was very supportive and at the same time reality based.

 

[chinaberry]

Next time, don't insult my intelligence by only quoting one miniscule part of the message. You choose to look for negativity and points to argue with people. I hate when people do that because it just shows they are combative and looking to argue with others over everything. Nitpickers that like to pick fights because they don't have enough constructive ideas of their own. You aren't the first, but it never gets any less annoying, trust me. I take it that in real life someone says something to you and you ignore 95% of what they say and just repeat back the last line that you disagreed with? If you did that, nobody would even give you five seconds to talk to them whatever the situation was. That's your choice. I think my response was very supportive and at the same time reality based.

Shush you
You made it sound like my only reason for posting this was to be negative. I politely pointed out that you knew my real reason for posting it really, which was why I quoted myself saying "does this sound familiar at all?", to illustrate it. If you don't get that then you don't need me to insult your intelligence...
I suppose it was a bit moany but then I don't have very many places to moan about Aspergers, so this bears the brunt. If you disapproved so strongly, why post yourself.

I'm not being argumentative in this thread (so far, that might change!), not particularly, I think you're being too much of a sensitive soul.
Actually usually when I talk with people I don't confront them, so no, I don't ignore 95% of what they say to get back at them...I suppose that might be difficult to understand if all you do with people is debate and argue.

 

[BruceCM_Aspergic]

Socially, it is, somehow, almost always your fault. If you've misunderstood somebody else, or if they've misunderstood you, it's mostly your fault. Of course, communication being a two way process, both parts do take effort on both sides. If somebody doesn't like the 'negativity', they should demo making the constructive comments they talk about! Instead of merely complaining it's negative, which doesn't help anybody.

 

[Sean2222]

Shush you
You made it sound like my only reason for posting this was to be negative. I politely pointed out that you knew my real reason for posting it really, which was why I quoted myself saying "does this sound familiar at all?", to illustrate it. If you don't get that then you don't need me to insult your intelligence...
I suppose it was a bit moany but then I don't have very many places to moan about Aspergers, so this bears the brunt. If you disapproved so strongly, why post yourself.

I'm not being argumentative in this thread (so far, that might change!), not particularly, I think you're being too much of a sensitive soul.
Actually usually when I talk with people I don't confront them, so no, I don't ignore 95% of what they say to get back at them...I suppose that might be difficult to understand if all you do with people is debate and argue.

I agreed with you in 95% of my fuvking post. Then you highlighted the last line where I didn't. Who's the one being argumentative. I think I pegged you very well for your overobsession with nitpicking small things that are meaningless. If you don't want me to post in your threads, simple solution. Don't create any threads, because if not you will be very upset. I am not ksising your ass, I am going to tell you things as I see them. You want differently, just reply back to your own posts and kiss your own ass. Oh and yes I am very sensitive, but at least I can clearly make a distinction over being sensitive to things that matter and those that you should be filtering out such as this. I am actually getting a good laugh at this (you) now.

 

[richbebo]

once again, a completly inocent, non- insultive and one i can relate too, post

 

[Sean2222]

once again, a completly inocent, non- insultive and one i can relate too, post

I guess this guy "annoying by default" didn't get in when I ignored his other 1000 posts as well. What part doesn't he understand? I hate guys,period. Therefore I don't talk to them. So shut up and stay out of my posts. Why are guys such me me me idiots who always want to think everything revolves around them and obsess over filling their unlimited egos? And that their so called humor strikes any kind of validity to anything?cWhen all it does is show them to lack any kind of substance to hold a meaningful emotional conversation. I think I'm going to have to start calling this guy "annoying by default".
Here's the thing, I'm actually being an idiot in a playful manner with China because I like her but am still enjoying making her squirm. "Annoying By Default" on the other hand I don't respect in the least bit, welll because of the obvious. So as I said, go away.

 

[richbebo]

I guess this guy "annoying by default" didn't get in when I ignored his other 1000 posts as well. What part doesn't he understand? I hate guys,period. Therefore I don't talk to them. So shut up and stay out of my posts. Why are guys such me me me idiots who always want to think everything revolves around them and obsess over filling their unlimited egos? And that their so called humor strikes any kind of validity to anything?cWhen all it does is show them to lack any kind of substance to hold a meaningful emotional conversation. I think I'm going to have to start calling this guy "annoying by default".
Here's the thing, I'm actually being an idiot in a playful manner with China because I like her but am still enjoying making her squirm. "Annoying By Default" on the other hand I don't respect in the least bit, welll because of the obvious. So as I said, go away.

Excuse me, i'm still trying to think of a post where i actually insulted you which i didn't, in fact my last post to you i believe was saying "i'm sure your a smart guy with many qualities". I merley put this post because you keep pretty much snapping at any innocent comment anyone puts up claiming that they are insulting you when in fact it is you who is insulting people. If you dont like someones post dont comment and seeing as it seemes to be alot of posts, why are you even on this forum if your just going to critisise peoples opinions.

 

[chinaberry]

I agreed with you in 95% of my fuvking post. Then you highlighted the last line where I didn't. Who's the one being argumentative. I think I pegged you very well for your overobsession with nitpicking small things that are meaningless. If you don't want me to post in your threads, simple solution. Don't create any threads, because if not you will be very upset. I am not ksising your ass, I am going to tell you things as I see them. You want differently, just reply back to your own posts and kiss your own ass. Oh and yes I am very sensitive, but at least I can clearly make a distinction over being sensitive to things that matter and those that you should be filtering out such as this. I am actually getting a good laugh at this (you) now.

Good old strawman theory (thanks AS critical thinking...), right? I don't think I'm being that nitpicking.
Actually, I do look for points to argue about with people in real life and I'm working on it, but I don't know how you guessed that from this thread.
Gosh I don't even know what this was about. I am not squirming, thank you, I'm listening to Elton John and no one could be squirmy listening to him
Really laughing...waves of chuckles everywhere? I wish I could laugh as easily as you!
I don't think NBD is annoying at all. He's been completely not-confrontational.

 

[Sean2222]

Good old strawman theory (thanks AS critical thinking...), right? I don't think I'm being that nitpicking.
Actually, I do look for points to argue about with people in real life and I'm working on it, but I don't know how you guessed that from this thread.
Gosh I don't even know what this was about. I am not squirming, thank you, I'm listening to Elton John and no one could be squirmy listening to him
Really laughing...waves of chuckles everywhere? I wish I could laugh as easily as you!
I don't think NBD is annoying at all. He's been completely not-confrontational.

But you are squirming China . You didn't need to dignify my asshole post with any response. But you did lol. Did I leave out your propensity to get the last word in and be right? Only thing is being right is such a subjective thing, where in this case only one of us is going to actually see it that way Oh I don't laugh that easily, it's really more a forced thing. Except when another aspie makes me laugh. Or I'm overcome with being silly....... Nt's don't really have that effect because well they are simple, selfish, self-serving, moronic ego guzzlers and yeah they suck

-sean-