Complex social situation

[RemyZee]

A woman I'm attracted to (I'm bi Female), who is really very sweet and smart and funny, asked me to get together and go to the museum last weekend. It was a date and I like her and was looking forward to seeing the exhibit and spending time with her getting to know her, but the day came and I realized I wasn't going to be able to meet her for social reasons, because as much as i like her the thought of actually spending time with her brought up so much dread (not because of her) and no matter how hard I tried to want to spend the afternoon the afternoon with her i knew those hours would be deeply uncomfortable, seemingly unending. I couldn't half picture myself showing up at all. So I texted her saying my car was broken down so I couldn't meet. I've thought about it all weekend and I felt so badly about lying I've decided it might want to tell her why I really broke our date ((that i am autistic) and can find social situations very hard to , and i may even find it hard to talk...,and whether she might give me a second chance. But has anybody ever made excuses or lied or otherwise dishonest because you want to get out of a social situation. (I know the stereotypical And do you think i should contact her again?

 

[daniegirl6224]

I’ve found for me personally, it’s best to just be upfront and honest about my social struggles. If people are accepting of it, great- if not, they are not the person for me

 

[Rodafina]

I have toyed with lying to get out of social situations, but even small lies seem to end up so messy. For the most part, I think it’s better to just put the truth out there and see what the other person does with it. Being upfront about our social struggles and being totally honest doesn’t always get us the understanding that we desire, but you never know when you might run across someone who can understand and that’s where the best friendships or relationships begin.

I think especially when you like someone, honesty is the way to go. Lies seem to have a way of extrapolating quickly and any true connection will have to be based on honesty. I have been surprised by friends who are quite willing to accommodate my needs and keep socializing short and sweet.