Communications with Spouse

[Rasputin]

It SOUNDS like you did nothing wrong, but we haven't heard her side. It's funny how things like this can cause hurt feelings. BUT, it IS possible your wife felt that you were basically calling her stupid. Like the man who came out to fix my dryer vent (that was clogged up) and the first thing he asked was if I cleaned the vent filter. Really? Or when I told my husband I heard a peacock and he asked if I knew what a peacock was. Or when I saw a rat and was asked if I was sure it wasn't a squirrel or something else. Questioning my answers is like calling me an idiot.
But at the same time, if your wife put it on you to deal with the salt man, you were trying to do just that and wasn't getting the information you needed to handle that. Reminded me of when my mom would call me at work. Once, she said the kids were playing poop hockey. I guess the dog had pooped in the floor and they were using a broom to sweep it out the door instead of getting a napkin and picking it up. But I was like, what do you want me to do about it from here and did she expect me to leave work and come home. As long as they were getting it up, I didn't care how. Oh and it was her dog. She ended up taking the girls home and leaving my 12 year old son home alone that night.

HELP! I can't stop laughing!!! LOL!!!

 

[Pats]

HELP! I can't stop laughing!!! LOL!!!

was it the poop hockey? true story. lol

 

[Rasputin]

was it the poop hockey? true story. lol

The whole thing was funny!

 

[Judge]

was it the poop hockey? true story. lol

 

[All-Rounder]

It SOUNDS like you did nothing wrong, but we haven't heard her side. It's funny how things like this can cause hurt feelings. BUT, it IS possible your wife felt that you were basically calling her stupid. Like the man who came out to fix my dryer vent (that was clogged up) and the first thing he asked was if I cleaned the vent filter. Really? Or when I told my husband I heard a peacock and he asked if I knew what a peacock was. Or when I saw a rat and was asked if I was sure it wasn't a squirrel or something else. Questioning my answers is like calling me an idiot.
But at the same time, if your wife put it on you to deal with the salt man, you were trying to do just that and wasn't getting the information you needed to handle that. Reminded me of when my mom would call me at work. Once, she said the kids were playing poop hockey. I guess the dog had pooped in the floor and they were using a broom to sweep it out the door instead of getting a napkin and picking it up. But I was like, what do you want me to do about it from here and did she expect me to leave work and come home. As long as they were getting it up, I didn't care how. Oh and it was her dog. She ended up taking the girls home and leaving my 12 year old son home alone that night.

I'm pretty sure it was an invitation. Something like 'Having a blast! Come play poop hockey with us!'

 

[Trophonius]

"Salt delivery person calls my house to see if I need salt delivered"

Salt delivery?
This is a level of wealthiness I cannot even begin to comprehend.

I cannot even get a pizza delivery on time.

 

[Varzar]

"Salt delivery person calls my house to see if I need salt delivered"

Salt delivery?
This is a level of wealthiness I cannot even begin to comprehend.

I cannot even get a pizza delivery on time.

Of course, needing salt delivered likely means he lives outside a city, and wouldn't be able to get a pizza delivery at all!

 

[All-Rounder]

Of course, needing salt delivered likely means he lives outside a city, and wouldn't be able to get a pizza delivery at all!

He will need to get each ingredient delivered separately!

 

[Rasputin]

Of course, needing salt delivered likely means he lives outside a city, and wouldn't be able to get a pizza delivery at all!

No, actually I could get pizza delivery if I wanted pizza.

 

[Rasputin]

"Salt delivery person calls my house to see if I need salt delivered"

Salt delivery?
This is a level of wealthiness I cannot even begin to comprehend.

I cannot even get a pizza delivery on time.

I suppose having softened water could be looked at as a luxury?

 

[Varzar]

No, actually I could get pizza delivery if I wanted pizza.

I can't.. I'd have to drive 45 min to get a pizza. But it's not worth it, so I usually make my own.. It's better that way..

I suppose having softened water could be looked at as a luxury?

Kind of off-topic.. We use a salt-free softener. Guess it depends what your concerns are for the water.. I just didn't want it scaling up the inside of the pipes so I'd have to redo the plumbing.. And the salt-free softeners work great for that.. They also leave the water still drinkable... Downside is, they still scale up the shower and such (calcium's still there, so wherever the water evaporates...).. I clean with vinegar.. *shrug*

 

[Alexej]

But, how likely is is for two Aspies to mate?

Not that unlikely I would contend

 

[Rasputin]

I can't.. I'd have to drive 45 min to get a pizza. But it's not worth it, so I usually make my own.. It's better that way..



Kind of off-topic.. We use a salt-free softener. Guess it depends what your concerns are for the water.. I just didn't want it scaling up the inside of the pipes so I'd have to redo the plumbing.. And the salt-free softeners work great for that.. They also leave the water still drinkable... Downside is, they still scale up the shower and such (calcium's still there, so wherever the water evaporates...).. I clean with vinegar.. *shrug*

I use Potassium Chloride which is environmentally safer than Sodium Chloride. However, your system might be better.

 

[Varzar]

I use Potassium Chloride which is environmentally safer than Sodium Chloride. However, your system might be better.

Interesting, I hadn't heard of people using Potassium Chloride before.. 3 times the cost though I see is a negative of KCl over NaCl.. Nice that it's better for the plants though..

 

[Thinx]

I googled attachment security, so I now have a vague idea what you mean by that.. I'm still not sure *how* I'm supposed to factor that in. Two cases here,
1) where it's a near stranger, and I would have no way of knowing what their attachment security is like.. And..
2) where it's my wife.. She presents herself as being very secure, but I think she hides a lot of insecurity underneath...

Well I suppose in instances where people assume you're being sarcastic or patronising, you could consider that it may be that they are not secure enough to make allowance for any problems with your tone, but jump to the conclusion you don't mean the compliment or mean in fact to make fun of them, hurt them or belittle them. Even if your tone is unusual, a person who feels secure about themselves in relationships with others is unlikely to make such assumptions.

I guess we can't always get it right for others, but I am saying here, that as usual in communication difficulties, it's a 2 way street, and part of the solution is with the other.

 

[Varzar]

Well I suppose in instances where people assume you're being sarcastic or patronising, you could consider that it may be that they are not secure enough to make allowance for any problems with your tone, but jump to the conclusion you don't mean the compliment or mean in fact to make fun of them, hurt them or belittle them. Even if your tone is unusual, a person who feels secure about themselves in relationships with others is unlikely to make such assumptions.

I guess we can't always get it right for others, but I am saying here, that as usual in communication difficulties, it's a 2 way street, and part of the solution is with the other.

Valid point.. I have at least started to recognize the reaction people give when they think I'm being sarcastic.. And can usually correct it with a reaffirmation that I am not, in fact, attempting sarcasm..
With patronizing, I'm less good at recognizing the reactions..

 

[Acorn_Elf]

She's feeling "salty"over some salt.