Communication Troubles

[Levelskid]

So, ever had a situation where you can't convey your feelings, intentions, and overall explanations without offending or confusing others, so you just decide to stay quiet and not say anything at all? I've been doing that a lot lately, and I think it's having an effect on my social life. My mates says I'm fine, but I want to do/be better. Is this normal, or am I doing something wrong?

 

[Outdated]

So, ever had a situation where you can't convey your feelings, intentions, and overall explanations without offending or confusing others, so you just decide to stay quiet and not say anything at all? I've been doing that a lot lately, and I think it's having an effect on my social life.

Eventually people will start to turn away from you if you keep it up because it will seem like you're turning away from them.

My mates says I'm fine, but I want to do/be better. Is this normal, or am I doing something wrong?

If they're your mates you should be able to say contentious things without them taking offence. It might raise some awkward conversations but that's an important part of learning to have trust and faith in each other.

 

[Aspychata]

It always helps to improve your communication skills. If someone doesn't understand you, try another way to explain. I have encountered this myself, it can take time and maturity but you can do it.

 

[Levelskid]

Thank you.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

So, ever had a situation where you can't convey your feelings, intentions, and overall explanations without offending or confusing others, so you just decide to stay quiet and not say anything at all?

Yes. The first skill is knowing when to stay quiet. Not an easy thing for some people... some often are victims of their "knee-jerk", quick-witted responses based upon cognitive biases. It will get you into trouble. The second step is to ask clarifying questions to better understand their perspective and context. If you pay attention... especially with neurotypicals... they sort of expect the other person to be intuitive, understand "intent", and to "read between the lines". If that is a skill you do not possess, and are aware of it, then curiously dig a little deeper into their statements. Best to be accurate rather than general.

It is a bit easier with say, something written... like what we are doing here. We can often review and edit before clicking the "send" icon. By giving yourself some pause before answering you can often give yourself the time to come up with far more intelligent responses.

I want to do/be better. Is this normal, or am I doing something wrong?

The fact that you want to do better is a sign of conscientiousness and caring. All I can say is to be consciously aware of your state of mind... it should be calm. A calm state of mind will reduce all the "emotional chaos"... that background noise in your mind that results in those knee-jerk responses and "controversial statements" that will get you into trouble. Once someone hears it... you can't take it back... not really. I've said some pretty stupid and ignorant things in my day. It really undermines you as a person. If your mind is in an "excited" state... the mouth gets ahead of the brain... never good.

It does take some self-discipline and control... and for myself, it is a conscious effort. I've become better at it with age and maturity, but it's always an effort.