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Communication Errors?

I remember once a co-worker bought a bag of chips and left them under the counter. She told me that I was free to help myself to them. That night I was feeling hungry, so I ate the remainder. The next morning she was really upset because she went to snack on some chips and found they were all gone. Apparently "help yourself" meant, "You may have some of my chips, but leave some for me later."
I guess that's not really funny, but yeah....

Oh, but this next one is funny! When I was little I was playing with my friend. She was quite fond of making mud pies. She had just completed one of creations and said, "The cake is done. Let's eat!" So I dug in and swallowed a tiny fist full of dirt. She screamed, which alerted me to the fact I had done something wrong, so I started crying. Her father then took me to the washroom to wash out my mouth because it was full of soil and grit. If the grownups were getting involved then it must be serious! By this point I was convinced I had done something truly horrible and that if I didn't wash my mouth thoroughly I would surely die!

I never ate her cooking again. ;)
 
Friend: What's up?
Me: The sky.

On a serious note, I once cocked up a job interview royally. It was for a translation job, and we were given a task to complete where we had to watch a TV commercial in German. The instructions went something like this: watch the commercial, write a description in English, and then translate it. So I watched the commercial, wrote a description and then translated the description from English into German. Apparently I was supposed to translate the commercial, not the description of it! Needless to say, I didn't get the job.
 
I used to work in the sea food section of a grocery store. Early on while working there a man came up to me asking if we had any deveined shrimp. I told him that no, we did not, because shrimp are arthropods with open vascular systems thus there are no veins to remove. He was not happy with this answer and stormed off.

Soon after I discovered that we did sell shrimp that said they were deveined on the package. After some quick research I came to learn that this "vein" is in fact the shrimp's intestinal tract. Why they don't just call it "gutted shrimp" or "cleaned shrimp" is beyond me.
 

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