• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

Coming out Aspie

Plant13

Plant13

Member
Yes, I decided it wasn't fair, having started a relationship of sorts, to keep my secret now that I know it. A number of metaphors come to mind. Its not a secret, I wrote to him, you already know all these things about me. Well, I can't speak it. And in true fashion he replied with a sweet and unrelated message that indicated ... nothing negative. I'm running with it. Its probably like an alcoholic dating in the first year of sobriety but I'm brave/stupid/hopeful. My little voice is saying 'he probably skimmed every word but 'sex' in all those paragraphs Plant'. Shhh, little voice. Be brave/stupid/hopeful.
 
Be brave, be stupid, be hopeful, be all of those things. I was already with my current boyfriend when I was diagnosed and was scared of what he would think, and if things would change. Scared he didn't want to be with a "crazy" person. But just like you wrote, he already knew all those things about me. He knew I was weird. He liked me because of (or in spite of) those things. It's just that my mixed bag of neuroses had a name now. And it didn't change anything for the worse. Hoping your experience will be the same. I think it's brave of you to be open, let's hope your braveness is rewarded.
 
Bolletje said:
Be brave, be stupid, be hopeful, be all of those things. I was already with my current boyfriend when I was diagnosed and was scared of what he would think, and if things would change. Scared he didn't want to be with a "crazy" person. But just like you wrote, he already knew all those things about me. He knew I was weird. He liked me because of (or in spite of) those things. It's just that my mixed bag of neuroses had a name now. And it didn't change anything for the worse. Hoping your experience will be the same. I think it's brave of you to be open, let's hope your braveness is rewarded.
Click to expand...
That is exactly what I wrote to him. Frankly also, I think a man who is so comfortable with so little eye contact may be undiagnosed and a perfect match for me. We have a lot of those little physical contacts-spontaneous hand holding and shifting (the shifting is the key here) to keep it clean. : ) that make me think its ok. If you've ever ridden motorcycles maybe you get this, absolutely not a thought in your head but wind. I'm going to have to try to keep that.
 
Plant13 said:
If you've ever ridden motorcycles maybe you get this, absolutely not a thought in your head but wind. I'm going to have to try to keep that.
Click to expand...

you-never-see-a-motorcycle-parked-outside-of-a-psychiatrist-s-office.webp



Live to ride,ride to live :cool:
 
Bolletje said:
He knew I was weird. He liked me because of (or in spite of) those things.
Click to expand...

LOL! Like my line to my husband, "You knew I was weird when you married me."

When I shared my suspicions, he was the strongest voice about making it official, if true. And when it was true, he said, "I don't want this to change anything between us." <3
 
WereBear said:
LOL! Like my line to my husband, "You knew I was weird when you married me."

When I shared my suspicions, he was the strongest voice about making it official, if true. And when it was true, he said, "I don't want this to change anything between us." <3
Click to expand...
And it should not change anything, we all have quirks - ours can actually be understood and have an origin.
 
I think it's good you told him, your relationship will be so much easier if you don't have to hide from him. Hope it goes well.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom