Can't enjoy myself

[if6wasnin9]

And I hate it. Have had trouble since I was a teen. I tell my NP every week that I have trouble enjoying myself and all she says is "That's the anhedonia we talked about" and leaves it at that. I've exhausted everything last 50 years and I'm still struggling. It's no way to live. Yeah, I can get excited about music sometimes but everything is short-lived.
When you can't enjoy yourself you don't know who you are. And it's made me feel extremely confused. Even to the point that Drs don't know what's wrong with me. I've been hospitalized dozens of times.

 

[Poppy98]

This is probably an obvious comment but sometimes it can be caused by depression or some form of medication side-effect.


I've only experienced that for short times and it was truly awful. I'm sorry you've been experiencing that for so long.

 

[Outdated]

After an incredibly exciting early life it took me a long time to find that balance, to be able to keep my emotions on a more even keel. Nothing really excites me any more but on the flip side nothing really upsets me or gets me depressed either. By comparison my younger years were like a rollercoaster ride.

Now I'm content.

 

[if6wasnin9]

Yeah, my NP also said it could be meds but I told her I'm like this when I'm not on meds. I told her last week that I'm just existing and she acted like everything was fine!
I started feeling real numb when I was 14 and felt nothing around friends and family. I felt extremely strange.
I dare not tell any other professionals because they'll say I'm psychotic and put me on heavy duty APs. (I'm on Seroquel now and it's helped my irritability.) I was much sicker last year and suicidal.