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Can I have some feedback on this please

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Hollow Horse, May 29, 2020.

  1. Hollow Horse

    Hollow Horse Well-Known Member

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    I am on my way to meet friends at the beach. I go into a local supermarket (they are not one of the major stores) to buy some food and drink.
    Noticing a Costa coffee dispenser, I chose a white Americano. Once it had completed, I found there were no stirrers.

    There was a queue of customers and three cashiers serving.
    "Excuse me, there are no stirrers, how can I stir my coffee?"

    The young girl cashier nearest said that under directions from Costa, they were not allowed to hand stirrers out anymore.
    That told me that they probably had them and could have provided me one but that is not to say I did not understand the rule.

    What I did say was this.
    "But that's ridiculous. If you have a device that is only offering 80% of the deal, why don't you close it down?"

    I was not saying this loud. I don't think I was rude. I just expressed my feeling.
    Overhearing that, a staff member at the other end interjected and said.
    " Why are you having a go at our staff! "

    To which the girl cashier added.
    " Just pay up and leave"

    Later in the day at the village post office where they know me, one said "She said WHAT?" They also think that I should report it to a support worker and make a formal complaint, because of what followed.

    I explained to this man that I had autism and that I found this situation challenging and stressful owing to his aggressive tone. On that information...
    "Where's your carer?" he snapped.

    Anyone who knows the current economics of adult social care would understand that cutbacks have left us really short of hours. I used to have two hours a day seven days a week. Also people like this may not know that we have to pay independently from our benefits

    In any case did he really imagine, unless the condition was severe, that everyone , say, with Aspergers have full time carers

    He then went on to declare that he used to work with autistic children and so knew about these things.

    Later on I thought that even if that was true, it might explain why he now worked in a lo-fi supermarket.

    What could they have done better?
    They might have been pleasant and welcoming instead of arrogant and aggressive.
    They might have offered me anything, like a pencil or pen, just to stir the sugar through.

    I'd like feedback on whether others feel I have been badly treated because I'm not sure whether to complain to the store or not.

    It's a situation that could happen to anyone, of course, but here the autism aspect is relevant because the staff showed total indifference and overall were downright rude. I hope they don't treat all their customers as dismissively.
     
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  2. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Our place of business also said we have to remove everything. It's the new way of restaurants because the virus lives awhile on plastic and metal. I have to learn all new rules. So cashiers and servers have to think about what they do. It's a new routine. Before they could pretty much be brain dead to some extent. Now they get asked for napkins, stir thingies, straws,coffee wraps, sugar, milk or cream. Everything has changed overnight. A lot of people aren't going to work because they would rather collect unemoyment. Things really have done a 180 turn. So l guess my point is, maybe try to have a tiny bit of patience , and realise these workers feel daily stress.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2020
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  3. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    My perception of this is... people in general are dumber than a sack of hammers, AND easily frustrated. Work retail for more than 5 seconds and you find LOTS of proof of this.

    This often applies EVEN MORE to the people in charge of businesses and such. They're *usually* not very bright, though they sure think they are. Again, anyone that's worked retail knows this. The management wants you to do LOTS of stupid things. But they think those stupid things are smart.

    So, people working at these places... retail locations or gas stations or whatever... not only are often not the brightest bulbs, but they have to deal with LOTS of irritating crap AND "ideas" that managers who are *REALLY* stupid put forth. And this situation, the whole COVID thing, adds like 1000% more frustration to what they have to do.

    Like, the thing you mention with the stirrers? Yes, it'd make far more sense if the machines themselves were entirely off limits. But chances are, management is too dumb to spot that incredibly obvious idea. And the people you deal with at the counter, they dont get to make the choices. So even if you somehow, by some unholy miracle, get a cashier or staff member that IS smart, well... they dont get a say in the matter. They gotta follow the dumb, or they get fired. It's one of the reasons why that type of job is considered universally terrible.

    Chances are, those people that barked at you were already in a very frustrated state. They've probably had lots of absolute jerks verbally attacking them even more than normal, which is quite the feat.

    As for the "where's your carer?" comment, well... as I said, dumber than a sack of hammers. And "dumb" often leads to "assuming that they understand things when they absolutely know nothing". I guarantee you, even if presented with logical reasons why that comment is idiotic, the guy who said it would simply have brushed you off, and declared himself to be A: smart and B: correct, even though he wasnt.

    Now, that all being said, one very, VERY simple fact of the type of job they're doing is that you do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, be rude to or yell at a customer that is not directly causing trouble. That's a HUGE no-no in that type of work. Personally, even knowing what they deal with, I probably would have reported them. Would have told the higher-ups that I was verbally accosted by [insert name here] at [location], was extremely disappointed in the experience, will be telling others about it, and will not use that company's services again. Even if management isnt very bright, that sort of thing is a major red flag and can indeed get results.

    Frankly, it might be a good idea if you do exactly that.

    Being frustrated is one thing. But acting like a turd to someone that is politely asking questions, while also making dumb and frankly offensive assumptions right to their face, is... yeah, not the way to do things in ANY business, and they should know that. It's sorta the first thing taught to anyone that enters the job market.
     
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  4. Hollow Horse

    Hollow Horse Well-Known Member

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    I think I like the second answer most but that's because of how it made me feel... frustrated.

    Other people (friends) have also said that the customer service was appalling or it was "absolutely disgusting".

    But like I said, I understood the ruling, as Aspychata points out, I even said to them that I wasn't disputing it, staff in these places do have to cope in these unusual situations BUT they ought to have got used to it now after so many weeks and while I know that patience isn't in my DNA there was no need to say the things they did, or apologise, or offer a simple solution.
     
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  5. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    Where my ex-girlfriend worked the company sucked, some days she would get yelled at or told off repeatedly by customers with valid frustrations, but she had no power to do anything about it. She would hold in her frustrations all day and then come home and complain about them to me. A couple times she broke down crying at work from all the getting yelled at or told off. It was almost like she would mask during the day to keep saying the right things.

    In a way, I'd almost say that stress was making these people be more blunt. Like you thought it was stupid about the coffee stirrer and you said so and they thought you were being an asshole and they said so.

    Or, like, maybe take it as like no one was lying to you. They weren't being nice to you and then the minute you left the store they complained about you to each other.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2020
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  6. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Well-Known Member

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    Hate to break it to you but you overreacted and took it out on a someone who's paid minimum wage.
    If you don't like the new policy vote with your feet or write a letter to head office.
    Even politely suggesting that you hoped they reverse that rule would be acceptable.
    It's a stirrer for a coffee not worth getting upset over or upsetting someone else over.
     
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  7. Rabscuttle

    Rabscuttle Member

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    Wait a second- so they're not allowed to give out coffee stirrers, or anything else that could do the job? And the machine's still up and running, and it isn't even labeled? No sign saying "Sorry, but under instructions from the distributor, we are currently unable to hand out coffee stirrers"? And no one thought this would be a problem?

    Years ago, I worked in a fast-food restaurant, at which there was a bay with several tubs of disposable knives, forks, and spoons. The implements were stored functional side down, and from the far end, you have to look very closely to see the difference between a fork and a spoon (this particular design, at least), and even the knife has a very similar back. So I'd often see people take one, realize it wasn't what they wanted, and, not wanting to be wasteful, put it back. While the health risk of them doing so was pretty minor, it was still a risk- and one that could easily be avoided by simply labeling the tubs. What was even more telling was, upon very close examination, you could see the residue from former labels on the bay. We even had a labelmaker in the office. When I suggested it to the boss, couching it in as polite a set of terms as I could manage (people are usually more willing to try an idea if they think they came up with it themselves), he just said "that's a good idea" and didn't budge on it. If I hadn't found a way to circumvent the roadblock he posed, they'd probably still be unlabeled today. Come to think of it, I don't know that they didn't change it back the moment I left.

    I suppose it's the one great universal constant of life: there's never a shortage of stupid.

    "Never", however, means "never". Chances are you're not the first person bothered by this, and the front-line employees probably couldn't fix the problem, so they've had people snapping at them for what might be quite a while. How many people do you suppose dropped the manager a line saying "hey, leaving the machine in this state with no forewarning is a recipe for confusion and dissatisfied customers"? Probably about as many as say "hey, grouping together every single person with every level, branch and form of autism under a single terminological label with no subcategories is a recipe for confusion and dissatisfied interactees". You can't change the past, but you can try to keep the mistakes from happening again. Don't look too long at what they (or you) could have done differently then, look at what you can do now.

    I mean, you're not going to let a little punk like inertia get you down, are you?
     
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  8. Stuart1975

    Stuart1975 Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean but I'd rather they keep them open because i'm on the road a lot. I don't even get into it with the staff, they don't care neither would I if I did their job. put a lid on the cup and swish it around.
     
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  9. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's not a perfect world .
     
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  10. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    ^^ This.
     
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  11. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, they should have just done this to avoid frustration after the coffee is poured. I mean @Hollow Horse might have assumed that their might be a plastic fork or straw wrapped in plastic or something there. But, as you point out, it still was not the cashiers fault that this wasn’t done.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2020
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  12. Shamar

    Shamar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    As Misery said, "people in general are dumber than a sack of hammers." I have to agree. Much of the public (even people who should know better) seems to think autism is equivalent to severe Down's syndrome coupled with psychosis. How can they let us out unsupervised? Frankly, I find the people here to be more intelligent than the public at large.

    I have long held a hypothesis (actually more like a supposition) that everyone has both an intelligence factor and a stupidity factor, and when people act together, intelligence is additive but stupidity multiplies. Show me someone who says he never did anything stupid, I will show you either a liar or a person too dumb to know he is dumb.

    Take a group of 10 fairly smart people, average intelligence factor of 1.2 (IQ 120), and a stupidity factor of 1.05 (four times as smart as stupid). The total intelligence is 12, and stupidity is 1.63. This is why small committees work well. Increase those same people to 100, and total intelligence is 120, while stupidity is 131. Stupidity is starting to outweigh intelligence. If you increase it even further, say 435, and even reduce the stupidity to 1.02, aggregate intelligence is 522, and stupidity is 5509. I think it says a lot about why Congress works the way it does. Now, with the Covid problem, we have many thousands of people working together and making decisions for us. Is it no wonder things like this are happening?

    An example, we are required to wear masks anywhere indoors where the public can gather. For a while, masks were totally unavailable at any price. Not a problem, there are numerous plans and instructions for making them. Then our governor, in his illustrious wisdom, ordered all stores closed which sold supplies for making them. Now that masks are available, he allowed these stores to reopen.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2020
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  13. Hollow Horse

    Hollow Horse Well-Known Member

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    You're wrong on all counts.

    And you weren't there.
     
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  14. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Well-Known Member

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    not looking for feedback then, got it.
     
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  15. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    This was also my first thought when I read the post.

    @Hollow Horse is right to be frustrated, and the staff are also right to be stressed and frustrated at the whole situation, but there is one simple solution: put up a notice to inform customers that no stirrers are available, and that whoever buys coffee does so under this understanding. Just a simple notice would save so much frustration.

    I've have countless disagreements and arguments over things like this. Things that could be avoided by a little foresight to provide information.

    Also, it's worth bearing in mind that people have a tendency to take things personally when they aren't meant to be, especially when stressed. Often, what to me is expressing my feelings to them, rightly or wrongly is rudeness to them. I have a lot of difficulty with this kind of thing and it happens a lot, that I give opinion on something and they take it personally, giving me a really negative reaction.
     
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  16. WildCat

    WildCat V.I.P Member

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    This pretty much sums it up.

    It's retail, they put up with enough as it is, and for those here speaking about the intelligence of people working in retail I say fill their shoes for a day and see how that goes. Pretty broad brush to be painting with if you ask me.
     
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  17. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    A simple, yet concise explanation. I was thinking about this only a few days ago, in how stressful this transition must be for so many workers. Even those employed in relatively menial capacities.

    Indeed, under the present circumstances that patience is required on both sides of the counter.
     
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  18. Hollow Horse

    Hollow Horse Well-Known Member

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    Don't try and be smart, it doesn't suit you.

    Sorry to break it to you but your feedback states that I over-reacted.

    If you bother to read the other posts, you will see that hardly anyone else agrees with you.

    Perhaps you are one of those who breezes into a discussion simply to take the opposite view.

    Don't worry about it, forums are well known for it. :)
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2020
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  19. Hollow Horse

    Hollow Horse Well-Known Member

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    Exactly this. I simply pointed out that the operation ought not to have been open.

    By saying that however it was clearly a massive overreaction on my part. :rolleyes:
     
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  20. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    ac75 civil.png
     
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