Bullying question

[Poppy98]

Is it better to spit it right back at them? (This person is violent btw but they keep escalating.)

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

If this is a continuation from another recent thread, you need to get away from them if at all possible and the law needs to know about the things they have been doing.

 

[TBRS1]

A person has to stand up to a bully, but what "standing up" means changes depending on the situation.

In one situation the best way to stand up is to fight back, but more often the best way to stand up to something is to get as far away from it as possible.

And then decide what to do next.

 

[Poppy98]

It is, but i guess now when it's just bullying type of stuff (apparently it rocked their world that I liked the one type of greenbeans...okay then) it might be something i can handle??? Maybe or not.

If this is a continuation from another recent thread, you need to get away from them if at all possible and the law needs to know about the things they have been doing.

 

[Outdated]

The one thing that all bullies have in common is that the more you give in to them the more they will demand. Conceding to their demands or trying to be conciliatory will always escalate the situation. There is no limit to how far they will go as long as their ego keeps getting stroked.

That's the root of their problem, they have no sense of self worth and have to keep proving to themselves that they're better than others and the only way they can do that is by forcing others to be subservient to them. This is like a drug to them, the more they get the more they need.

Unfortunately sometimes violence is required, but things usually never go that far unless you've already caved in to the bully a few times.

 

[velociraptor]

(This person is violent btw but they keep escalating.)

Don't ever escalate with a violent person unless you're capable of handling the consequences and keep in mind that 99% of people aren't. Please call the authorities and let them deal with this person.

 

[Poppy98]

but things usually never go that far unless you've already caved in to the bully a few times.

Yep, i did that.
That seems to be exactly the problem. Does de-escalation work? Doesn't biting back just give them attention too.

 

[Poppy98]

My apologies for starting my account off this way btw. Bullies and abusers are so much harder to navigate than other people. (That is a grimace, not a smile.)

 

[Outdated]

They really do behave like a drug addict, you've given them a taste of the drug they crave more than anything else in the world and now you want to take it away from them. No matter what you do it's not going to be a pleasant experience.

I agree with Velociraptor that unless you're genuinely prepared to go toe to toe with someone that is really not the path to take. Trying to bluff and make lame threats will just make the situation far worse.

If this is a domestic violence situation then call it that and talk to the police or any support services in your area.

 

[Outdated]

My apologies for starting my account off this way btw. Bullies and abusers are so much harder to navigate than other people. (That is a grimace, not a smile.)

It's all good, we've all been there.