Building courage to go to hardware store

[Questella]

I always thought the employees in the stores at the mall thought I was shoplifting because they always seemed to be circling and asking if I needed anything. The inside of my mind would be screaming, "just leave me alone and let me shop," but of course I only ever manage to say, "just looking" over and over to them :/ I started wearing headphones (and big sunglasses) whenever I went to the stores by myself, sometimes people would try to get my attention then I could just point at my headphones and wonder off.

My boyfriend though tells me I make everybody so uncomfortable all the time people are always seeming about ready to call the cops on me for some reason I can never understand.

 

[gonz]

My boyfriend though tells me I make everybody so uncomfortable all the time people are always seeming about ready to call the cops on me for some reason I can never understand.

Here's what you do then; go into the store a couple minutes before him and act like your normal self. While everyone wastes their time watching to see what you're going to do, he can rob the place blind.

 

[Questella]

lolololol you made me laugh

 

[Cosmophylla]

i would rather circle the store all day until i have a mental inventory more detailed than the employees working there for 3 months.. just to not ask them.

Yes, that's me!

i like to intentionally look a little overly stressed lol... so, say i'm looking for paint or something.

That's my tactic, as well. I thought I was the only one who did that. I walk around with a frown of concentration while consulting my list. Always carry a list.

although if I run into an employee it can prompt them to ask if I need help... To which I feel like saying, "if only you knew, mister!" But I don't. I fob them off or ask for something on my list.

My other tactic is to bustle around purposefully so I look like I don't need any help. Usually I get left alone when I do that.


Everyone here would love shopping in Japan. When you enter a shop the staff call out, "いらっしゃいませ! Irasshaimase!" which is like calling out, "welcome!" After that they don't say a thing to you until you accost them. At the checkout there is no small talk, just extreme formality. Small talk would be the height of rudeness. Also, when you pay you always pay cash, and the cash is put on a little tray/dish, rather than passed from your hand to the cashier's.

 

[Questella]

Everyone here would love shopping in Japan. When you enter a shop the staff call out, "いらっしゃいませ! Irasshaimase!" which is like calling out, "welcome!" After that they don't say a thing to you until you accost them. At the checkout there is no small talk, just extreme formality. Small talk would be the height of rudeness. Also, when you pay you always pay cash, and the cash is put on a little tray/dish, rather than passed from your hand to the cashier's.

Japan's culture's is like totally opposite of ours in many aspects! :3

I've also been made to understand that it's rude to open presents in front of the gift giver! I so would of loved this growing up, I never knew what to say when getting a present, normally it was something I didn't want, didn't like and didn't care about (and then commonly got stolen by some friend, so I guess it's was "popular culture" stuff just I had no interest.

 

[Cosmophylla]

Japan's culture's is like totally opposite of ours in many aspects! :3

I've also been made to understand that it's rude to open presents in front of the gift giver! I so would of loved this growing up, I never knew what to say when getting a present, normally it was something I didn't want, didn't like and didn't care about (and then commonly got stolen by some friend, so I guess it's was "popular culture" stuff just I had no interest.

Yes, that is true. The gift is wrapped, often by the shop it came from (thus the logo is displayed) and this can signify the approximate value of the gift without it being unwrapped.

However, there is also the expectation that, for things like end of year gifts and お土産, omiyage (souvenirs...usually food), the gift giving will be reciprocated at some point. This then becomes a back and forth saga of gift giving... So at the end of the year you may be "obliged" to give your current boss and all your old bosses gifts!

 

[ChrisC1983]

Everyone here would love shopping in Japan. When you enter a shop the staff call out, "いらっしゃいませ! Irasshaimase!" which is like calling out, "welcome!" After that they don't say a thing to you until you accost them. At the checkout there is no small talk, just extreme formality. Small talk would be the height of rudeness. Also, when you pay you always pay cash, and the cash is put on a little tray/dish, rather than passed from your hand to the cashier's.

see, thats perfect to me. business is business.. personal time, isn't. your friend you haven't seen in 5 years is back in town? don't chat for 30 minutes in line at you job while you work.. just take the day off. or tell them you'll hang out after work. otherwise, if you're at work.. you work. if not, don't. i used to think that was logical but clearly it wasnt

same with gifts... i mean, christmas as a kid was fine if it was "stuff from santa" or mom/dad since they were there. but i hated opening gifts infront of anybody because i didn't have the "proper" reaction. i tried to carefully untape the paper so i didn't damage the paper.. and i was never really excited by anything so it kind of bummed out whoever gave me the gift, which was never the intention. i started faking it better.. and damn near everything else in my life just to save some flak from my family but at this point i still get flak for everything. and both of my parents and my aunt are trying to hook me up with people but none of them believe i have ASD or any issues and have no idea wtf i actually want in a person not to mention my own morality quirks with people so basically it would all be a waste of time.