I think that is part of the reason I don't have another job yet. I'm not sure I could pass as completely neurotypical if I had to. The hyperactive zany bursts that I have described are mostly controllable and almost always limited to being at home; however, I still seem "off" the rest of the time apparently. There is a bit of awkwardness in formal situations and my interests don't generally match up with those of my peers. When a topic of interest comes up, I frequently get called down for talking too fast, too loud, and going on too long. When a topic of interest is not involved, it can sometimes be hard to think of very much to say and there can be a lot of awkward silences. I am also realizing that for some reason people don't want to know if a screw is coming loose on their door panel or if they have a spider hanging out in the corner of their room. I would want to be informed of these things myself, but people seem to find it annoying and problematic.
To be fair, I think it's not so much that you pointed out a screw or a spider, it's that it was not important at the time. (That's a guess, I don't know the exact situation so I could be wrong here).
But the reason I say that is because there's a guy who works in my clinic who I strongly suspect is ND. Most people in my clinic are pretty accepting, but they are still often irritated by this guy because the things he says and does come across as rude and self-absorbed.
For example, one of my coworkers was talking about a book she had read recently and how much it impacted her and how much she enjoyed it. She described the book and the story. Rather than saying something like "wow that sounds like you really enjoyed it," or something to that effect, instead he pointed out a word she had pronounced incorrectly, and that was it.
This guy also often complains that he's not well liked... but it's hard to explain to someone like that who has apparently little in the way of self-awareness, that what he did in that moment was to completely ignore her entire message and her
bid for social connection, and instead criticized the way she pronounced one word. He understood what she was saying, he just chose to point out an error that ultimately makes no difference to anyone but himself. Why? Because it's apparently
important to him.
I think errors make us uncomfortable so we like to have things just so. It's the black and white thinking. NTs don't do that. That one word is not necessarily the point of the message. The message is actually the enjoyment of the book. It's reading the other person's excitement and emotion. And we miss that and stomp on it by appearing to be critical.
I'm sure this has nothing to do with spiders or loose screws though. Maybe it was just the wrong time.
