Being asked if you're autistic

[vergil96]

Here we go, yet another person told me I'm autistic today

Although the context was different and appropriate

Seriously, what is happening?

 

[velociraptor]

Seriously, what is happening?

When someone spills toothpicks all over the floor, don't shout out the exact number that hit the ground. Dead giveaway right there.

 

[Crossbreed]

When someone spills toothpicks all over the floor, don't shout out the exact number that hit the ground. Dead giveaway right there.

Yeah. Fudge on the number. That'll throw 'em off!

 

[GrownupGirl]

Nobody knew I was on the spectrum for over the first half of my life. So what would make them think I'm autistic now? Unless I'm having a meltdown in public or something awful like that? Would they notice something less awful, like my having five pairs of the same kind of blue jeans or lining up my new markers on my desk?

 

[Judge]

Would they notice something less awful, like my having five pairs of the same kind of blue jeans or lining up my new markers on my desk?

While no one has ever asked me if I was autistic, a few have commented on the likelihood of my having OCD. (Something I was diagnosed for decades ago).

I suspect any number of people would make such an observation and assumption entering my home and notice how precise furniture and furnishings appear relative to everything else.

It does tend to weird some folks out for some reason...

 

[Nervous Rex]

I only had one person ask if I was autistic.

I have had people ask me, "How does your brain work?" ... because I apparently said something very odd or very insightful (it's so hard to tell the difference).

 

[Judge]

I have had people ask me, "How does your brain work?" ... because I apparently said something very odd or very insightful (it's so hard to tell the difference).

Sounds like a compliment to me! Oh yeah, we on the spectrum don't all receive compliments in accordance with NT protocols. Our bad.

Still intensely angry at my own brother who tossed out a compliment, only to berate me for not immediately acknowledging it. Ironic given his response validated my suspicions as to his motives. That coming from him any compliment would be more akin to his attempt at gaslighting me.

Geriatric sibling rivalry 101.

 

[UFO]

my own brother who tossed out a compliment, only to berate me for not immediately acknowledging it.

That is the social dance I have never fully understood.

I mean that I get that it is polite to say "thank you" to almost everything, and I play along with it just fine. But it is beyond me why it is so important politeness. I have no feelings towards difference between answers "ok" and "thank you" when I inform someone about my opinions about him/her (=give a compliment when it is earned). I don't usually fish for compliments towards myself when I compliment someone.

 

[Judge]

That is the social dance I have never fully understood.

I mean that I get that it is polite to say "thank you" to almost everything, and I play along with it just fine. But it is beyond me why it is so important politeness. I have no feelings towards difference between answers "ok" and "thank you" when I inform someone about my opinions about him/her (=give a compliment when it is earned). I don't usually fish for compliments towards myself when I compliment someone.

Point taken. I'm apt to say "Thank you" often with complete strangers as opposed to my own kin.

Classified under "Southern Manners". No more...no less.

 

[the_tortoise]

Nobody has ever asked me if I'm autistic. But I have never seemed normal. I grew up being called the r-word and mocked for my extreme lack of social skills and slow awkward speech. In older childhood and youth, I have distinct memories of friends standing up for me, overhearing them with my bat-like hearing telling other kids a little ways off to leave me alone or that I was not a narc, I was just "special". Adult mentor-friends dropped hints to me I didn't pick up on until I was in my twenties, in retrospect, such as commenting on how my stimming reminded them of another autistic person's stimming ...actually the most clear memory I have of this is how I learned the word "stimming".

Most people seem to think I have Intellectual Disability. When I prove to them I don't by demonstrating some advanced knowledge of something or managing some (usually very well-rehearsed) articulate words, they seem to become confused and how they categorize me and explain my weirdness goes all sorts of ways but it is rare I am allowed to know what those ways are without basically demanding to be told.

It seems that in the limited offline social environments I traverse any diagnostic label is too personal for anyone to ask about and autism is seen as some kind of shameful secret or tragic personal burden....it is frustrating and I don't get it. I am not ashamed and the entire world can know for all I care - I get "othered" no matter what people think is the explanation for why I am noticeably different.