Awesome video on the difference betwn rules and standards in a relationship

[Ste11aeres]

I was watching this video, and while I was watching it i kept thinking of you guys on AC. and i decided to share it. How To Get Over An Argument (July 4th Special)

(the smiley at the top is just because i liked the color.)

Same video on youtube How To Get Over An Argument (July 4th special) - YouTube

 

[Sparticus]

Very good! I saw a text of the video-my speakers don't work. Well I think it's the text. It's better to start with a compliment "I like how you ____" and then clarify something and or open up a communication. It's more fun to talk things out then be with someone who argues and or yells.

Most people get angry, upset and emotional when their standards are violated, and they don’t know how to vent that, so they stop communicating and continue arguing.
____________________________________________________________________


"What we have to do is learn to communicate.

The best way to do so is to start in a positive way.

‘I love you. I care for you. I want to be close to you.’

Then lead into talking about your standard.

‘But right now, with what you’re doing – with the way you’re violating my standard – I can’t be close to you.’

And finally lay down what he must do for the relationship to continue.

‘As much as I want it to, this can’t work unless you’re able to change this part of you.’"




How To Get Over An Argument (July 4th Special)

I was watching this video, and while I was watching it i kept thinking of you guys on AC. and i decided to share it. How To Get Over An Argument (July 4th Special)

(the smiley at the top is just because i liked the color.)

Same video on youtube How To Get Over An Argument (July 4th special) - YouTube

 

[Ste11aeres]

Very good! I saw a text of the video-my speakers don't work. Well I think it's the text. It's better to start with a compliment "I like how you ____" and then clarify something and or open up a communication. It's more fun to talk things out then be with someone who argues and or yells.

Most people get angry, upset and emotional when their standards are violated, and they don’t know how to vent that, so they stop communicating and continue arguing.
____________________________________________________________________


"What we have to do is learn to communicate.

The best way to do so is to start in a positive way.

‘I love you. I care for you. I want to be close to you.’

Then lead into talking about your standard.

‘But right now, with what you’re doing – with the way you’re violating my standard – I can’t be close to you.’

And finally lay down what he must do for the relationship to continue.

‘As much as I want it to, this can’t work unless you’re able to change this part of you.’"




How To Get Over An Argument (July 4th Special)

My in-person friend and i have become closer after the times we had arguments. We came out understanding each other and ourselves better. Now things are easy between us.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Okay, that winking smiley face is now getting on my nerves.

 

[Sparticus]

That sounds good! Same with my female friend & I. We have had some arguements; I procrastinate in certain things & she has a temper! I'm not perfect. But she's cool, a good woman and 100% Italiano. After arguements, we got closer. Though many times I had to inititate new communication. Or she did when I was pissed off or hurt beyond the call of relationship duty... Things are easier between us...she's a sweatheart, but I don't feel she can accept the aspie me.

My in-person friend and i have become closer after the times we had arguments. We came out understanding each other and ourselves better. Now things are easy between us.

 

[Sparticus]

The green winking smiley is not bad, but it reminds me of a flat green lollipop. As a kid I the green ones were my least favorite...of course...every once in awhile you'd get handed the green one! :S Ack...

Okay, that winking smiley face is now getting on my nerves.