Aspie problems

[Dillon]

Howdy all!!
So I have not been on here in like months and I’ve been doing pretty good except there have been some things bothering me to where I’ve been having emotional breakdowns.
I’m currently attending college majoring in becoming a marine biologist and classes are going great and what not, however my social cues and also reading peoples expressions have been really bothersome. Not sure how many aspies out there feel excluded in almost anything with from the group but that’s how I’ve been feeling like as if people now I’m there but purposely ignore my exsistance.
I been having difficulty if someone was mad at me or upset or whatever that I would get upset and start freakining to the point I’m crying cause I feel like everything has been my fault lately. I’m fixing to be 22 years old soon and I feel like some of the cues just never get better
you other aspie people feel the same way with your social and facial cues and also have a real difficult time in not just making good friends but keeping them as well? I had a problem with thinking that person is such a good but I finally find out the person turns out to be a jerk just like this one person who I should never ever had told about me being an aspie which really upset me. This person she just flat out stopped talking to me or anything and said that she figured I was werid and there were some things wrong that she could not stand which ok whatever known each other for two months but not anymore

 

[Ragnahawk]

Look man. I am sure deep down you knew you were going to miss out on your social cues. Your strategy to go in an wing it was a weak willed one with a defeatist attitude. If you want to win you are going to have to open your mind more than that. You know your weakness, so you should have confidence knowing it. Adopt a strategy where even if you fail your cues you still come out on top. Relax and think calmly. Calm minds succeed even when they lose. Pursue your potential. Ignore labels good and bad as they can limit that potential. If flatter you with a good label does that improve you? No. If I shout at you and tell you how dumb you are is it true? No it is just someone externalizing their own lack of confidence. People who hover over others generally lack a lot more in life. Above all do not stop moving forward. Every step is progress. Losing is learning.

 

[Progster]

Yes, I find it hard to make and keep friends. Lately, I don't feel that I need to have friends so much, I enjoy my own company. When I'm with other people, I always feel tense. I have a job which demands quite a lot of interaction with other people and by the end of the day I'm exhausted, no energy left. It has happened to me that a 'friend' has just stopped talking to me with no explanation whatsoever. It's distressing when that happens, but that person probably wasn't such a great friend anyway, otherwise they wouldn't have done this.

Sometimes, however, people can stop talking for other reasons - they are depressed, burnt out, sick or had an accident. Then they 'downsize' their social circle and cut down on relationships except very close family and friends.

 

[WereBear]

My solution is to not trust until it is verified

 

[Streetwise]

do you have any other interest apart from marine biology? I found that if I was reading a book about my interest someone may ask you about that! that would be an icebreaker for all intents and purposes !

 

[Chance]

Hey Dillion. long time no see, or how ever the saying goes??? : )

Glad your back, and I get you in so many ways I cant even explain...
I dont have the answers. I get so upset at times because I miss stuff, and mess stuff up...

One thing... maybe it will help, maybe not... Focus on where you are going and why you are there...
It's lonely, it sucks, but IF there are any true ones around... They will come around on their own.
The right people will come around, unless you get like me and not trust NO ONE anymore...
Don't do that please!

Give it a little time and never give up your dreams... (God if someone had have told me this 20 years ago)

Dillion needs to be Dillion and become what Dillion needs to become.
I tried the people pleasing thing and "faking" it...
It was a really bad experiment that I'm still paying for in many ways.

BE YOU... Let the other assholes worry about themselves.

 

[Streetwise]

Howdy all!!
So I have not been on here in like months and I’ve been doing pretty good except there have been some things bothering me to where I’ve been having emotional breakdowns.
I’m currently attending college majoring in becoming a marine biologist and classes are going great and what not, however my social cues and also reading peoples expressions have been really bothersome. Not sure how many aspies out there feel excluded in almost anything with from the group but that’s how I’ve been feeling like as if people now I’m there but purposely ignore my exsistance.
I been having difficulty if someone was mad at me or upset or whatever that I would get upset and start freakining to the point I’m crying cause I feel like everything has been my fault lately. I’m fixing to be 22 years old soon and I feel like some of the cues just never get better
you other aspie people feel the same way with your social and facial cues and also have a real difficult time in not just making good friends but keeping them as well? I had a problem with thinking that person is such a good but I finally find out the person turns out to be a jerk just like this one person who I should never ever had told about me being an aspie which really upset me. This person she just flat out stopped talking to me or anything and said that she figured I was werid and there were some things wrong that she could not stand which ok whatever known each other for two months but not anymore

start looking for something you can rely on 24 seven not people !they will disappoint you! I mistakenly thought Aspies would be different they are not!.
I find it hard to think that I hurt people but I have and people have heard me take from that what you want

 

[Dillon]

Look man. I am sure deep down you knew you were going to miss out on your social cues. Your strategy to go in an wing it was a weak willed one with a defeatist attitude. If you want to win you are going to have to open your mind more than that. You know your weakness, so you should have confidence knowing it. Adopt a strategy where even if you fail your cues you still come out on top. Relax and think calmly. Calm minds succeed even when they lose. Pursue your potential. Ignore labels good and bad as they can limit that potential. If flatter you with a good label does that improve you? No. If I shout at you and tell you how dumb you are is it true? No it is just someone externalizing their own lack of confidence. People who hover over others generally lack a lot more in life. Above all do not stop moving forward. Every step is progress. Losing is learning.

I feel more confident than I have been but it’s just the same ole thing of not being included and sucking at my social cues is always going to be that way. I have joined two clubs while I was at school which that’s helped my overall self esteem. Also I’m not saying I’m dumb or anything like that it’s just that I feel like I’m blaming myself feeling like I did everything wrong to the person when they made me feel that way. People just will never understand what it’s like to live with this.

 

[Dillon]

do you have any other interest apart from marine biology? I found that if I was reading a book about my interest someone may ask you about that! that would be an icebreaker for all intents and purposes !

Why yes! I go fishing a lot and love to draw!

 

[Mr Allen]

Hey Dillion. long time no see, or how ever the saying goes??? : )

Glad your back, and I get you in so many ways I cant even explain...
I dont have the answers. I get so upset at times because I miss stuff, and mess stuff up...

One thing... maybe it will help, maybe not... Focus on where you are going and why you are there...
It's lonely, it sucks, but IF there are any true ones around... They will come around on their own.
The right people will come around, unless you get like me and not trust NO ONE anymore...
Don't do that please!

Give it a little time and never give up your dreams... (God if someone had have told me this 20 years ago)

Dillion needs to be Dillion and become what Dillion needs to become.
I tried the people pleasing thing and "faking" it...
It was a really bad experiment that I'm still paying for in many ways.

BE YOU... Let the other assholes worry about themselves.

Your equals you're

Seriously though, yeah be yourself, if the others don't like it that's THEIR problem and NOT yours.

You are you, and nothing and nobody can change that.

 

[Bella Pines]

If I could talk to my 22 year old self all those decades ago, I would tell her to stop trying so hard.

I finally made a small group of friends at college, but we drifted apart and live in different countries now. So even if you found the holy grail of friend groups, they too would drift away. The only thing that matters is the marine biology course, maybe find someone you can study with and focus on the work.

Eventually you'll get a job, there will be a new friend group, then you'll change jobs and again, a new friend group. It might seem important now, but it really isn't. So head down, study hard and ease up.