Asperger and kids

[kris81]

Hello,

Well me and my girlfriend want to have kids but she is so scared because there is a big chance it will inherits autism.

She is a bit anxious it can have severe autism. My doctor told me there is a chance for inherit autism but it can only be asperger because i have asperger. And she tolds me there is also a big chance it will have no autism.

Well it's difficult for me because my girlfriend is so anxious about it. Sorry for asking this question here.

 

[Keigan]

To date, there are no published scientific studies that claim to actually know the source of autism.

I’ve seen many claiming that it is determined at conception, but cause unknown.

 

[VioletHaze_03]

Aspergers and autism doesn't have to be genetic. I'm high functioning and there's no one on the spectrum in my family. Honestly, you or your girlfriend shouldn't worry. Having a child with aspergers is not some demonic curse, it's just like having a kid with a birthmark or with brown hair: it's part of that kid, and that child will still love you as much as a neurotypical child will. Autistic children view the world differently and it can be beautiful. I've heard of cases of nt parents with severely autistic children. It can happen to anyone, and it's not something to fear. If you end up having a child who is on the spectrum, you'll work through it day by day, it's just autism. Not a life-ending disability. If you and your girlfriend are truly scared of autistic childeren, look up some vlogs and sites on autism families. They're ordinary, happy families with extraordinary children.As a former asd child, i can promise you that a high functioning kid can be as happy and successful as everyone else, sometimes it takes a little longer. You yourself know how tough it was. Or maybe it wasn't. I'd like to think that aspie children can be far more fun and creative that nts, even if their development poses a challenge.

 

[Bolletje]

I get where she's coming from. I have Aspergers, in my case there's a strong genetic link as most males in my family seem to have some form of autism.(most of them are undiagnosed, but that's another story) Until recently all of us were high-functioning and relatively successful at life in an NT-world. But my cousin (Aspie with NT wife) had a son with more severe autism. And life is so hard on that boy. I feel for him, but also for his little sisters and his parents, because life is hard for all of them.
If I knew beforehand that my hypothetical child would have a comparable degree of autism to mine, I wouldn't be worried. I can't know this, though. There's no way to predict the severity of autism in your offspring. And that's what keeps me from having a child. I don't want to risk inflicting a kid with the bad part of my genes just because I feel the need to procreate. So I probably won't have children.

 

[Nitro]

There is also the strong possibility of autism being present and not detected if the individuals involved did not warrant a second look,required support or had issues that weren't addressed.
I happen to believe that many of my male family members were like me who were extremely brilliant,but quirky.

Older generations were often overlooked before diagnosing autism spectrum disorders became mainstream.

 

[Major Tom]

I have HFA and my son is severely autistic with intellectual disabilities. There are many other cases of autism either diagnosed or undiagnosed in my family. This leads me to believe that autism is in fact genetic. Maybe it has to do with the quantity of autistic people in your family line, I am not sure. I would advise caution when considering having children, maybe go for adoption instead if that is an option. This is just my opinion, I am no doctor, nor a scientist.

 

[pjcnet]

Your children probably won't be autistic and if they were it's likely to be on the same level as yourself, but.....

Do you wish you hadn't been born because you have Asperger Syndrome?
Does your wife love you any less because you have Asperger Syndrome?
Would you or your wife love your son or daughter any less if they had Asperger Syndrome or even low functioning autism?
Is it possible to enjoy life with Asperger Syndrome or even with low functioning autism?

This should tell you what to do.


PS: Life is one big gamble and if no-one ever took any risk we wouldn't survive.

 

[Nitro]

The close to what I'm saying here for the OP,are you willing to gamble with the odds of possibly having a very impaired child and forcing them to not enjoy life as you have if they were to be born with profound autism with the knowledge of the possibilities up front?

 

[Crossbreed]

As an Aspie father with kids all over the spectrum, I believe that Aspergers is hereditary and that LFA is an additional injury on top of Aspergers (that is preventable). Restated, LFAs are not injured NTs.

 

[SusanLR]

I have read so many instances of people on the spectrum that have kids who are also that I just can't believe it is not inherited. Even when both are NTs the children can be autistic.

My father seemed to be on the spectrum and one Uncle.
I do believe it is something that is there from conception,
but science hasn't proven what yet.
In time I think they will with the study of genetics.
It has been known for a long time people who have opposing RH factors run a risk in having children.

From my own experiences I have often wondered what everything my mother and I went through before birth
plus my parents were opposite RH blood types did somethings in my developing.
She developed severe pneumonia in the third trimester and was unconscious part of the time. She was given so much penicillin I was born allergic to it.
I was born a month later after her water broke also.
And to top that all off, I was one of those incidents that was a split zygot and the other half died.
When this happens it is absorbed back into the half that lives, and usually the half that lives developes a terra toma tumor later in life.
That is a tumor that can be composed of a certain organ cell cluster. Somtimes they can look like part of a face or have teeth. Very weird things.
Mine was a 6 inch long, compartmentalised tumor comprised of thyroid tissue.
Studies show most who have terra tomas develope cancer later. I did that too.

This is getting way off topic of inherited autism,
but I used it as a teaching tool of how things that
happen in utero influence the child.
Since I have studied medicine, I just find all these things interesting.

 

[Progster]

None one in my immediate family was diagnosed with ASD, but apparently an uncle (who I never met) was a bit 'weird'.

 

[WereBear]

As an Aspie father with kids all over the spectrum, I believe that Aspergers is hereditary and that LFA is an additional injury on top of Aspergers (that is preventable). Restated, LFAs are not injured NTs.

This SO much.

A child can be born with Cerebral Palsy and no intellectual impairment, OR with CP and some kind of developmental issue. Why not autism? A child with issues may or may not have austim. The issues are separate from the autism, which itself varies in terms of sensory, mirror neurons, or even their environment when growing up.

I didn't have trouble making friends in school so much as having trouble finding someone who shared my interests. A bookworm who enjoyed intellectual discussion? In the United States, I was lucky to find ONE in any given school, since we tended to live in small towns with a small pool to draw from.

The most "normal" social development I experienced in school was heavily dependent on the environment; in one case, we lived at (then) Cape Canaveral, I went to school with the children of scientists and engineers, and my intellectual abilities were accepted. In high school, I fell in with the art crowd who accepted eccentricity and liked talking about ideas.

But in small town, rural, US; I was a freak. That has nothing to do with autism.

 

[Bella Pines]

It's fine, I'm severely aspergers and have 2 lovely children. I found out later in life and so grew up without labels. I don't and never have seen my aspergers as a disorder, or a disease or in any way debilitating.

I get sensory overload, need to be by myself, I have no empathy whatsoever and apparently have the emotional range of a teaspoon. But I work around this just like overly emotional neurotypicals have to work around their debilitating tendencies to be utterly illogical.

Aspergers can get passed on in the same way any personality trait can be. My eldest has some of me in him, he has thick skin and talks logically. He doesn't get overly upset about things. My youngest gets obsessed with 'special interests'. So I teach them balance and how to function in society.

At the end of the day, children are what they are. They come pre-packaged as little human beings and you do your best to help and guide them. So I personally think that aspies should have more children, brings balance to the world.

 

[WereBear]

Well it's difficult for me because my girlfriend is so anxious about it. Sorry for asking this question here.

I feel for your girlfriend because every parent worries about this. And it's not something which can be solved with logic, because logic has nothing to do with it. But if she loves you enough to have children with you, she doesn't have a problem with autism. She just has an understandable problem with something terrible happening to the future child.

Parenting is all about risk. And the same things she worries about can also happen because of illness or accident, sadly. This isn't a clear pattern like Huntington's Chorea or sickle cell. Having a child with LFA is simply a low functioning child with autism; if they didn't have autism they would still probably have the underlying problem with low function.

I am reading a history of autism that astonishes me with how misunderstood it still is. For generations they saw people who had severe issues and stood out, while not seeing anyone who could "function" as someone with autism. When, as we now know, there were lots of lots of what is now called High Functioning.

Because we don't have a "problem." We just have autism. And lots of our trouble there is completely a function of society.

 

[WereBear]

But I work around this just like overly emotional neurotypicals have to work around their debilitating tendencies to be utterly illogical.

Quoted for truth.

 

[pjcnet]

As an Aspie father with kids all over the spectrum, I believe that Aspergers is hereditary and that LFA is an additional injury on top of Aspergers (that is preventable). Restated, LFAs are not injured NTs.

I'm one of 3 brothers on the autistic spectrum, I was born in 1969 and my brothers in the early 1970s. We all had very slow speech and other development as young children, however unlike my low functioning autistic brothers I started to show dramatic signs of improvement when I got older, although I've always kept numerous autistic traits. Back in the 1970s it was generally believed that autism wasn't inherited, yet if that was the case it was literally billions to 1 against that all 3 of us was autistic. Our family therefore sparked off a huge amount of specialist interest in the medical profession and I remember seeing numerous doctors and psychiatrists as a young child (I actually enjoyed the attention back then). We was even sent to the Maudsley Hospital in London where we saw various other medical professionals that lead up to ultimately seeing Professor Michael Rutter who officially diagnosed all 3 of us as autistic, he was the highest qualified medical professional in the UK to work with autistic children, in fact he was later knighted for his work and is now known as Sir Professor Michael Rutter. Eventually my family had enough of us being used as "guinea pigs" for medical research and started blocking the medical professionals out of our lives in the late 1970s.

I strongly suspect you are right. I believe that both my brothers and my autism itself was inherited since unlike my mother, my father doesn't know much about his family background and I have even noticed some mild autistic traits in my father. I suspect the "additional injury" was caused by my mother having asthma throughout pregnancy and all 3 of us had to have oxygen after birth. Neither of my 2 brothers are able enough to for instance tell the time or count to 5 even as adults, but the worst affected of all is my brother Daniel who my parents have always suspected is brain damaged too, he stopped breathing for a while after he was born and had to be resuscitated. Remember since we was born medical technology has vastly improved and this also includes better monitoring during pregnancy. Now child birth is much safer overall and if we was born today I have to wonder whether all 3 of us would have been on the higher functioning end of the autistic spectrum, in fact maybe even I wouldn't have been as slow to develop as a child and I might have been even more able.

 

[Oda]

To date, there are no published scientific studies that claim to actually know the source of autism.

While it is true that none KNOWS the exact cause of autism, hundreds of studies have found strong genetic links to autism, and some genes have been identified that are hypothesised to be causal of autism. It is important to note that just because a gene/genetic mutation is present, doesn't mean that it will be expressed, and if it is expressed it still doesn't mean that behavioural symptoms are noticeable.

If you know that you child is a carrier of genes/genetic mutations that are linked to autism there are several environmental measures that you could take to decrease the chance of this gene being expressed, even though this is not yet well understood and early clinical interventions are in their infancy.

Some things that are being investigated is to decrease levels of in-utero testosterone levels, as well as early tryptophan interventions (feeding the child high tryptophan foods/giving tryptophan supplements). Early psycho-social interventions may also decrease behavioural symptoms.

So there are some things that could potentially be done, even if your child ends up inheriting and expressing genes associated with autism.

On the other hand, there are alternatives to having a biological child, if you're worried that you might pass on unfavourable genes. I know adoption is difficult and expensive, but have you considered fostering a child/children. There are plenty of kids out there, also infants, who need competent care takers, and fostering can be a road to later adoption.

I wish you the best of luck, with whatever you decide to do.

 

[Yes I am]

There is also the strong possibility of autism being present and not detected if the individuals involved did not warrant a second look,required support or had issues that weren't addressed.
I happen to believe that many of my male family members were like me who were extremely brilliant,but quirky.

Older generations were often overlooked before diagnosing autism spectrum disorders became mainstream.

Absolutely ! Got my diagnostic at 50 years old.

 

[WereBear]

I also wonder if we aren't in a situational state with the way our civilization currently works.

At the beginning of the American Colonies which became the United States, most of the population were subsistence farmers who were lucky to come into town once a week for market day. The rest of the time was spent on the farm with family and close neighbors, none of whom were in much of a position to sit around and gab. School was reading and writing and arithmetic and you were turned loose. "Keeping to yourself" was a celebrated New England virtue. "Living in town" was regarded as an anthill existence; real men lived away from that.

I don't think we had nearly the same societal pressures and expectations we have today.

Likewise, until the computer revolution, a man who worked in a office wasn't thrown into an open plan vastness with demands to "work as a team." He could sit in his office alone all day, with a secretary to handle interactions. He'd go home and his wife would serve him dinner and he didn't have to do any child interactions he couldn't handle. He would be a "good provider" because he was supposed to be left alone to do his work.

Even women above a certain income level would be able to have household help and often there were older relatives living with them. A woman with a managerial bent was celebrated for the way "she ran her house." She could take time in a room alone with the household accounts or hand-calligraphy of dinner party invitations and give orders to the cook and nanny and maid. People didn't have to be rich to have servants back when; a middle class living sufficed.

Today both men and women would be working a fulltime job with teamwork and commuting and shopping and then a whole bunch of housework and childcare when they get home. It is overwhelming for NTs, much less NDs with their greater needs for solitude and recharge time.

Even the positive aspects of today's marriages have a possible downside for Aspies since there is an increased emphasis on teamwork and communication. Thanks to this societal attitude, the person who needs to be left the heck alone... isn't.

I think today, HFA is going to stand out more, because the demands on us are radically different than the centuries before.

 

[Keigan]

While it is true that none KNOWS the exact cause of autism, hundreds of studies have found strong genetic links to autism, and some genes have been identified that are hypothesised to be causal of autism. It is important to note that just because a gene/genetic mutation is present, doesn't mean that it will be expressed, and if it is expressed it still doesn't mean that behavioural symptoms are noticeable.

If you know that you child is a carrier of genes/genetic mutations that are linked to autism there are several environmental measures that you could take to decrease the chance of this gene being expressed, even though this is not yet well understood and early clinical interventions are in their infancy.

Some things that are being investigated is to decrease levels of in-utero testosterone levels, as well as early tryptophan interventions (feeding the child high tryptophan foods/giving tryptophan supplements). Early psycho-social interventions may also decrease behavioural symptoms.

So there are some things that could potentially be done, even if your child ends up inheriting and expressing genes associated with autism.

On the other hand, there are alternatives to having a biological child, if you're worried that you might pass on unfavourable genes. I know adoption is difficult and expensive, but have you considered fostering a child/children. There are plenty of kids out there, also infants, who need competent care takers, and fostering can be a road to later adoption.

I wish you the best of luck, with whatever you decide to do.

I agree - my own DNA shows the risks and I wish I had DNA from both my mother and father.