ASD & The brain -> Solving the reality thing?

[Last Fortress]

What is this about: This is about a ASD person.
-> Regarding how their reality changes depending on what 'reality' they are living, either the comfort zone(home on computer) or out in reality.

ALSO :The person DOES NOT want all this anxiety/worry and they're really trying to figure out how to really get back in the real world.
- The person also does not have any 'conflict' so to say about people. And in fact the person is generally very happy and positive, but with people, its just this FULL on worry and anxiety that can then lead to total 'blankness' and then the normal person is looking at the person with ASD just thinking 'this guy is socially dumb'. But what can lead to that, is all this 'anxiety/worry' BUT WHY?. In the real world its all this anxiety/worry but in the fantasy world


- Even in the 'comfort zone' lets say that is at home, on the computer or reading books. Lets say its about being really 'inside the real world', and it feels good, but then you go out in the real world, and its this full anxity.

But once out of the comfort zone, all one wants to do is be back in their comfort zone.


Main point:
-> If one is outside of their reality (on their computer always) and to them they feel connected to reality (but its the outside reality) + no anxiety/worry , but outside of that and in the real world with people,etc.there's full of anxiety/worry/etc.

But why?.

Example:
Lets say you even take a drug. And well, they're even more 'whatever the drug does' IN THEIR COMfort state (home on the computer), but then they go out in the real world, in a city or a busy place for example and then its just full of worry,anxiety,etc....


Its like what is around the person. If the person is

And, even when talking to people then in the real reality, the person really, they have changed , they are not who they use to be, and other people can see that. And at some times, it becomes so bad that its like 'oh god, this is who I am, I might as well die'


Its almost like there's this part in the head that's just causing all this, or this not new/refresh feeling.


Why is this?.
Well, to give a non brain reason: the person has:
- Isolated them selves for the last many years (but before all this, they were totally them selves regarding everything and all 'normal'.
- Most of time on the computer.

--------

How can one solve this?

 

[King_Oni]

I'm willing to say "some people are beyond help"... that sounds harsh, but that's the truth IMO.

If this person isolates himself this much one might wonder why no one stepped in before? It's why I sometimes wonder if this isn't part of the reason why most people have jobs that require them to leave the house and visit their place of employment as well; just to not regress with social skills.

I can relate to this in a sense personally and as an outsider even much more cause I've seen a friend end up in a psych ward because of similar behavior (and yes, drugs were involved). He eventually was in a ward for a year, had to detox from all the drugs and habits and had to relearn some social skills again. I must however add in that, despite he was diagnosed as an aspie, he's a far more social person than me, hence I think this is why social skills and therapy to relearn some of these skills probably worked for him.

What you describe as someone not being themselves when interacting with others can very well be a form of "trying to hard" to fit in. It's the ability to put on that social mask and perhaps even mimicking that everything is fine, but deep down, you know you're not doing fine. I've tried to get along like this and be social (back when I had a job); within a few months I was at a therapist partially because this kind of acting was causing a burnout. I always found the allegory of a beast rattling the cage to get out very fitting.

So to get back at the start; how to solve this? Extensive therapy might be an option, though no guarantees there. The best way would be to prevent isolation. The issue with isolation is that plenty of people don't have a clue how isolated they are what it's doing to their psyche. Some people can stand it, some people don't... but assuming you deal with it because someone else could is often a risk by itself.

 

[Last Fortress]

When you say "some people are beyond help",

you should really look at that context I think BECAUSE, what's the help about?. what's the person really like?.

just because a person goes on the computer all of a sudden does not mean he meant to isolate him self.

the saying ""some people are beyond help" maybe should be for people who's a ego-nut or a psycho or something? and like real bad deep down.

 

[King_Oni]

Considering you ask how to solve it, I think the assessment of "being beyond help" is fitting here. Also don't forget that even if someone, as you put it, lives in their own reality, that does not make the "real reality" less involved. A therapist or psychologist cares nothing about your own reality, but will gauge how grounded you are in the reality where you physically are present. If you can't function in that reality it's often a cause for concern and a reason for them to step in.

I understand that someone going on a computer isn't meant to isolate oneself, but it is quite often a side-effect. Drinking alcohol isn't about becoming an alcoholic either, though if you do it enough and focus enough on it, mentally (and perhaps physically) it will end up like that in plenty of cases. It has to do with regression of skills and inhibitions.

I agree that "some people are beyond help" is for the worst cases, but then again, what are the worst cases? I'm quite sure in some places people already think someone is weird or dangerous if he doesn't leave the house regularly and spends a lot of time inside doing whatever he does. "Worst cases" seems to be a pretty subjective term here.

 

[Wooaspie]

What would be the benefit from teaching an aspie social skills? And if he did learn these social skills would they be real or would they just be learned and then systematically used by the aspie?

 

[radasp]

Hmm...I think all humans suffer from incorrect assumptions about "reality" "the inner versus outer" world and "who am I?" Reality exists; it's a universe built on matter and energy that behave in specific ways: the laws of physics. It exists whether we acknowledge that it exists or not. We are not ever separate from the universe - we are embedded in it as a form of matter and energy. We can never be "outside" nature; we just think we are.

The inner vs. outer concept is an illusion: the function of the brain is to operate the body and to make sense of the environment so that we can survive. Our senses are limited, so the brain constructs a model from whatever information it receives. Our senses detect very little of "reality" so our ideas are often incorrect, skewed, imaginary. Word language simplifies the environment (creates a generic version) that is easier to handle. One result is the illusion of an inner "me" and an outer "them," which is far less complex that what is going on between "us" and the universe. It's convenient and useful but it is also a social tool to indoctrinate children with idea that the inner you is bad and must be suppressed and obey the "outer" and better social rules.

What we (as Asperger's) are doing by retreating to our comfort zone is a logical reaction to an environment (the social environment that dominates human existence) that literally makes us ill: overstimulation, anxiety, fear, ill-treatment by social humans, toxic physical conditions, etc. It's a perfectly normal and instinctive response for any animal to avoid harm, and that's what we're doing; as far as I know that inner world is far more healthy than the social world because it's founded on reality: facts, systems, patterns, connections that are the universe.

Who am I? must be answered by each human being: I think we have to begin with individual personality and avoid social prescriptions to reject our basic needs wants and preferences. How we choose to develop those basics is who we are. We don't arrive as infants being who we are, we become who we are.

Joseph Campbell said, Don't follow the majority. They are the ones who are lost.