Anyone else have trouble staying happy

[RandomBogy]

I can't stay happy, things can be going so good then my body starts rotting from the inside and I start having awful thoughts in my head. I feel awful even typing this like im a desperate disgusting human why should other people reply to me but I am desperate i just wish to connect with other humans anything would be nice.

 

[the_tortoise]

Nothing bad or wrong about reaching out for support. I think it's good that you reached out, and am glad you did - we all have bad times and lots of us struggle with self-worth issues on various levels (different levels could be how you feel about you vs how others feel about you, either way when it seems all bad or the bad is overwhelming even if you can see clearly it is only part of
how you/others feel about you, it is hard).
I don't know how to help except just respond with these words to give you a bit of connection with a fellow human. I hope this difficult time for you ends quickly and that you feel better soon.

 

[Outdated]

I think a lot of people have unrealistically high expectations of how the world should be too. Happiness is not a permanent state, in fact it can not be because without experiencing hard times you'd never know what happiness is.

Happiness is a few hours here and a few moments there, memories of experiences you can treasure in darker times to give you hope for the future.

 

[JayLapointe]

I can't stay happy, things can be going so good then my body starts rotting from the inside and I start having awful thoughts in my head. I feel awful even typing this like im a desperate disgusting human why should other people reply to me but I am desperate i just wish to connect with other humans anything would be nice.

I think the fact you are aware enough that you are having these thoughts despite good circumstances is a start to dealing with them. I'd strongly suggest talking to a therapist as it's hard to gauge the extent of your dark thoughts.

Outside of therapy I'd look into a few different things that could help, they've helped me. Daily gratitude journaling, at the beginning of each day or at the end of the day try to write down three things you are grateful for. Keep doing that and you start to rewire your brain to look for the positives around you each day and you start noticing/focusing on the negatives less.

Mindfulness meditation and other practices can also be a great benefit in increasing contentment if not "happiness". Learning to be aware, acknowledge, but not dwell on your thoughts, particularly the darker ones. It's not something that came naturally to me, it took a long while and a good amount of practice but it does eventually start really helping.

Lastly I'd leave you with a thought on happiness in general and that optimism/positivity is a choice. And it doesn't mean that everything will always be good in life, the same amount of bad things will still happen, but when you choose positivity it means looking for the upside to things, and not dwelling on the negatives for which you have no control. If something is bothering you ask yourself, Can I fix this? If the answer is No, why worry about it as it is beyond your control. Doesn't mean to ignore things, but dwelling on that which is beyond your control is a futile exercise.

I wish I had more I could say, or something that would make you happy permanently but it is a process, and it is something that takes work.

 

[Dagan]

Like stated above, you are applauded for your courage to overcome the fear of just acknowledging such a thing. Keep going. Don't let the fear of seeking further (professional) help rather scare you or make you feel like that is going to mark you or single you out amongst society. No matter how bad, wrong, awful or such that you feel, (and I feel like I can speak for many if not all of us) the only "monster" involved comes down to the "fear." Fear is the villain. You are simply having your specifically hard time trying to handle it. Talk all that you need to, of course.

 

[Xinyta]

To add to both @Outdated and @JayLapointe's posts on happiness. Happiness isn't something sought. It's something that is a result of security with one's self. A baseline level of happiness, regardless of circumstance, is a result of keeping a drive to do and look to silver linings, where it seems there is none. Sometimes you have to create your own.

The small things in our lives are what really matter. These help us keep perspective, when everything else feels like it's falling apart.

I agree with journaling 3 things you are greatful for. I'd also reccomend doing general journaling of any thoughts you may have positive or negative. Be sure to mark it with a date and time. This will help gauge the frequency of your of your mood swings and start helping present patterns you can slowly address.

I'd would like to reccomend my recent thread post in addition to this, in which I talk about Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs). This could help make sense of some of the chaos.

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Do you have any idea what is causing it (eg. chronic depression , another type of depression like seasonal, PTSD)?

 

[Shevek]

I can't stay happy, things can be going so good then my body starts rotting from the inside and I start having awful thoughts in my head. I feel awful even typing this like im a desperate disgusting human why should other people reply to me but I am desperate i just wish to connect with other humans anything would be nice.

Happy is happier than average. Therefore, happiness is below average half the time. That's duality. If you are enthusiastic, the root of the word says you are getting divine help to let the world of duality matter less to you.

 

[velociraptor]

I can't stay happy, things can be going so good then my body starts rotting from the inside and I start having awful thoughts in my head. I feel awful even typing this like im a desperate disgusting human why should other people reply to me but I am desperate i just wish to connect with other humans anything would be nice.

I am trying to adopt a wabi sabi outlook on life. I don't need to be happy, but achieving a state of acceptance, or serenity, is a worthwhile goal for me. I am plagued by the various types of dukkha, which are a state of unhappiness. This is normal, nothing is perfect for anyone, we all have things turn out differently than hoped or that which we have and love eventually drifts away from us. I can recommend books on the topic if you're interested.

 

[Cutesie]

A psychiatrist who I once had would ask whether I'm happy. When I said that I don't know what happiness is, she saw it as proof that I was depressed.

 

[JayLapointe]

I am trying to adopt a wabi sabi outlook on life. I don't need to be happy, but achieving a state of acceptance, or serenity, is a worthwhile goal for me. I am plagued by the various types of dukkha, which are a state of unhappiness. This is normal, nothing is perfect for anyone, we all have things turn out differently than hoped or that which we have and love eventually drifts away from us. I can recommend books on the topic if you're interested.

I personally would be interested in learning more and those book suggestions. Can't say that I've heard of "wabi sabi outlook" or the "types of dukkha". But from what you went on to say it makes sense. Would love to learn more about what cultural/religious tradition wabi sabi/dukkha are coming from. Thank you in advance.

 

[velociraptor]

What is Wabi Sabi?

Wabi sabi is a Japanese philosophy that finds beauty in imperfection, impermanence, and simplicity. It celebrates the natural ageing of things, the quiet elegance of the handmade, and the charm of the imperfect. At its heart, wabi sabi is about slowing down, appreciating the small moments, and embracing the perfectly imperfect nature of everyday life.

"Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect." ~ Richard Powell

“If there is a secret to unlocking a wonderful life it is to become easily pleased. To see magic in the minutiae,
take delight in the ordinary, to understand that the true beauty lives in the smallest wins.” ~ Donna Ashworth

Wabi Sabi: The Wisdom in Imperfection eBook : Suzuki,Nobuo, García, Héctor, Calvert, Russell: Amazon.ca: Kindle Store

Wabi Sabi - The Art of Finding the Beauty of Imperfection: Discover Timeless Japanese Widsom to Cultivate Peace, Joy, and Balance in a Perfectly Imperfect ... | Includes Daily Exercises and Practices eBook : Saito, Makoto: Amazon.ca: Kindle Store

This is the path I'm on now.

 

[blue_bird]

I think my happiness is related to a feeling of satisfaction. I gain a sense of satisfaction when I feel there is nothing to worry about. Unfortunately since my mind is always finding something to worry about or to be insecure about my sense of feeling satisfied, hence feeling content and happy is very rare.