An Awkward Introduction

[sabaka]

Are you looking for friends?

 

[Trothan]

Hello friend. This is a textbook side effect of emotional neglect. I'm sure you've come across the topic. All that can be done now is to reconcile the built up mental frameworks of the last however many years with the reality of your unfulfillment that they helped you cope with. If you haven't yet, I have found that reading and thinking in the direction of what Schemata are and how to navigate them ultimately yields greater results and control within the self compared to attempting to wrestle your emotions into submission. Best of luck, there is no panacea.

Thanks for the input.
I read the Wikipedia page. I never knew about this concept, but I recognized these patterns through self reflection. I noticed that the human psyche is not designed for truth. It is designed for self validation. This leads to partiality and can be self destructive if I am validating a negative self image through suicidal thoughts.
understanding these schemata should help me clarify what exactly is happening in my psyche. I noticed distrust I had toward other people. I have been wrestling with my emotions for a long time. It often just leads to emotional numbness and dissociation.
I'm trying my best and I am feeling defeated.

 

[Trothan]

Are you looking for friends?

I tried before and I am trying again.
I really want to connect to another human being, but I felt a lot of resistance. I usually end up staying alone without someone I can relate to. I have been like this through my entire school career where I often felt distant from the other students.
I did have a couple of friends along the way, and sometimes I have some good talks with strangers at the park. I still have no friends at the moment.

 

[sabaka]

I tried before and I am trying again.
I really want to connect to another human being, but I felt a lot of resistance. I usually end up staying alone without someone I can relate to. I have been like this through my entire school career where I often felt distant from the other students.
I did have a couple of friends along the way, and sometimes I have some good talks with strangers at the park. I still have no friends at the moment.

We can try to talk if you want. I need a friend too.

 

[Trothan]

Hello friend. This is a textbook side effect of emotional neglect. I'm sure you've come across the topic. All that can be done now is to reconcile the built up mental frameworks of the last however many years with the reality of your unfulfillment that they helped you cope with. If you haven't yet, I have found that reading and thinking in the direction of what Schemata are and how to navigate them ultimately yields greater results and control within the self compared to attempting to wrestle your emotions into submission. Best of luck, there is no panacea.

I read about a bunch of these on Wikipedia.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_maladaptive_schemasI will have to look for emotional neglect. I'm not sure what exactly that schema is. There are multiple schemas I can relate to. Here are two of them. Both of these are from hyper vigilance. The first is the most relatable.
Overcontrol/emotional inhibitionThe belief system involving the inhibition of actions, feelings, or communications to avoid negative consequences.

Unrelenting standards/hypercriticalnessThe belief that one must strive to meet very high personal standards, usually to avoid criticism, leading to hypercriticalness toward self and/or others.
I will try to find more about navigating schemata and emotional neglect.