12-stepping sucks and is truly toxic. It exists for people who wish to hate themselves for the rest of their lives and who wish to spread their misery in a cult like fashion. Seriously, forget that noise. Forget AA.
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After sleeping through most of this weekend, I am going to commit to making my physical health better. Too many health problems recently. I need to reverse this crap and make that a top priority.
I feel like I need some weed. As in right this second.
I feel like I need to talk to somebody who is on my side, but the only two people I know IRL who are on my side are too busy to speak to me today.
I survived my own personal Hell - so where should I go from here? The world is vast.
A friend just told me that I have not really been challenging myself the last few years outside of staying away from alcohol. He is correct. I need more intellectual stimulation than what I have been giving myself.
This is what I am watching tonight.
My isolation is my own fault. I should be getting out more.
I will go on the hunt for movie watching friends. Watching movies alone is fun, but I like talking about what I just watched with somebody who just watched it with me.
I am sitting in high luxury right now. I will take excellent care of my new furniture so it can keep taking excellent care of me.
I can't wait to go home, where my new couch awaits me.
Productive day at the office, fun gaming at home and now I am going to make broccoli chicken with fresh ginger for dinner.
My belly is full of lasagna this afternoon. I am big, hairy, and I love lasagna, just like Garfield, I am also lazy.
Today I spent a small fortune on a leather electronic recliner couch to replace the couch I have which has been falling apart for a while. Rice and beans for dinner for a while after the lunch tomorrow.
I did not win the Mega Millions jackpot on Tuesday. I did win $4, which doubled my investment. I am quitting while I am ahead.
I get to go to my favorite local restaurant tomorrow. Indian cuisine that is divine. I love their goat curry special.
I slept for a few hours after I got home from work today. I feel like the hate I had towards my dead friend has now transformed into unspeakable sadness.
Hands of time will wring my neck. Every little moment spells regret. But I don’t have to feel this way. As a voice inside my head. Oyasumi, oyasumi. Why is that song stuck in my head right now?
I feel like crawling back into bed and crying for several hours. Yet I have to work instead. -
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