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Metalhead

Metalhead

V.I.P Member
Metal health will drive you mad! 46 From Bedlam
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  • Metalhead
    I wish I could sleep until after the 4th of July. Alas, I have a job that would not approve of that.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Because of the fireworks?
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Fireworks are worse than thunderstorms for me (I feel the barometric pressure shift, and the electricity in the air, and the sound). Fireworks are more abrupt and constant. My dog won't walk with the threat of fireworks (if there were some last night, he won't go this morning, and he jumps at every sound for a full day after).
    Metalhead
    Great, all it takes is one minor comment from my boss telling me that I interrupted a meeting, and I suddenly feel like bothering people is what I do best all over again.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    It happens. I'm sure there are no bad feelings (at least I hope and would think so)
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I know there most likely are no bad feelings here. I know my mind is going to a very dark place for no real reason.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Well you've been having a lot come up lately, so understandable. Remember you are loved and have some people truly on your side.
    Metalhead
    This is the time of year where neighbors shoot off fireworks when I am trying to sleep because I have to work in the morning.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I dislike firework season. In FL where my parents live, it is year round.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Benji dog hates it too.
    Metalhead
    Sorry for the flood of processing. I am making an effort to forgive and let go. Holding on to pure rage has done me no favors. Pure rage makes me want to drown in a sea of bourbon.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Your talking about your mom is pushing a lot of buttons for me, in remembering my past and my mother. It is good to go through it in order to let it go, you are good. Just :) make sure to let it go.
    Metalhead
    I suppose I could have some empathy for my mother - her mother was just as horrible to her as she is to me. Not saying what she does is ever OK, but I have an opportunity to break the family trauma for myself.
    Metalhead
    Seriously, I need a vacation. One month and several days away, my vacation begins. Away from family drama and family psychosis. Good times with great friends. Good food, good hiking, good chill downtime, zero damn stress for two whole weeks.
    Metalhead
    Today, at work, I helped a crying parent get hooked up with services for her young child. Holy (expletive). This comes with the territory in my job, but it is gratifying when things like this come together right.
    V
    VictorR
    That's great! Part of what keeps me going in my job are those special moments where you're able to make something happen for someone.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Thank you for sharing. Very uplifting.
    Metalhead
    I think I am going to go on a nice long walk before I get home from work today. Buy a couple of things from a grocery store. Make virgin margaritas and beef enchiladas when for dinner.
    Metalhead
    So, instead of hitting the snooze button until it is about ten minutes before I have to leave, I forced myself to get out of bed when my alarm went off. And I am taking my time, made a healthy breakfast, took a shower, stretched, made my bed. Great feeling.
    Metalhead
    I need to spend more time with my hobbies, and I need to take on a volunteer shift somewhere. Too much idle time with my headspace is very bad for me.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    same here. I tried volunteering at animal shelter, and then hurt my back so haven't even called them. It is show up as you will, so I'm sure I'll be welcome back once healed. But right now. So bored.
    Metalhead
    I am tired of being the family black sheep, the one who people always say, “You know how crazy you get sometimes,” when I try to affirm my boundaries. I think I will plan a relocation very far away from here. I think it is time for such an action.
    Misery
    Misery
    Do you have any specific place you want to move to? Somewhere special?
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Yeah, a friend has offered me a room for rent on the other side of the country. I think I will take her up on the offer.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I think this would be healthy for you. Some separation from the abuse.
    Metalhead
    So, today my mother flat out told me that none of my friends cared about me like she cares about me. I am going to plan to move very far away.
    View previous comments…
    Judge
    Judge
    Did you ever consider the possibility that your mother may have dementia?

    Mine did. Though most of her most disagreeable side I had to learn about through other people. Very sad. At times she could be either "Baby Jane or her sister Blanche Hudson". Sugary sweet or downright cruel. It was tough.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Why should I care about her mental state? She is dead to me.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    Your mother is toxic. I agree, her mental state is no longer your concern. She has done too much to you.
    Metalhead
    Another night of pure insomnia.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Insomnia usually makes for a troublesome day. Hope you are coping okay.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I hate insomnia. It usually lasts for 2-3 nights for me, every week or two. Hate it hate it hate it. I hope you sleep tonight.
    Metalhead
    I feel like drinking Ace of Spades and smoking a Cuban Cohiba while wearing an Italian suit and sitting in the back of a stretch limo. I probably spent as much money as that would require on groceries today. Damn, food is expensive now.
    Metalhead
    Looking for somebody to see a Slayer tribute band with me this weekend. That scares most of my RL friends. Heh.
    View previous comments…
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Nope. I will say the mosh pit at the Metallica tribute concert was probably the most chill mosh pit I have ever seen. Most of the guys in it were in their 30’s and 40’s.
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    I guess with age comes wisdom! I think a Metallica mosh pot might be more my speed :-)
    L
    Luca
    I would go with you! Wish I lived closer.
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