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UberScout

UberScout

V.I.P Member
Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996 29
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  • UberScout
    I have also decided to be completely mute around my family, and I'm going to make it a permanent habit. Since speaking at all only gets me punished, and into conversations that get misunderstood and go in circles, all my communication is either written or not done at all.
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    You and she don't talk?

    She has not got good power of observation/doesn't notice?
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    When you start questioning your life, and those in charge of your life, backlash can follow. Because often they don't have reasonable answers.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    No, we do talk. It's just never wholesome. We'll, it is. It's just rare.
    UberScout
    It's 8:04 Pm and I had to do a reality check on myself to realize I practically slept through the whole day. I need to tell my therapist I need deeper hypnotherapy. That reminds me, I need to listen to my hypnotherapy tracks again.
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Showers usually clear my head. So does Aloe obviously :)

    Sometimes when my therapist does hypno sessions with me she'll put a dolphin somewhere underwater near me (she always puts me on a beach, usually starts with me floating on a rubber raft in the ocean somewhere, and Aloe is usually introduced by jumping over me like a hurdle) Once when she introduced a dolphin into the session I actually fell asleep!
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    That sounds very soothing.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @Aspychata It is. Especially on horrificly bad days. Which are actually every Tuesday that I jave an appointment.
    UberScout
    Help me
    View previous comments…
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Have you had any motivation to do bushcraft stuff?
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    I think I can see on your profile that you are 27? It may be possible that there are some charities in your area that could help you move away and offer you support. I'm sorry, I don't have much knowledge about your specific situation, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating things others have said :-( It's certainly bad for your mental health living in circumstances that can change so rapidly and don't feel secure :-(
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I don't even want to leave anymore. I'd just burn myself out on that.
    UberScout
    I have had it with Charles constantly hogging my phone just because his never stays charged. I've had it with us having no money to get or do anything. I've had it with the monotony. I'm taking matters into my own hands whether I'm supposed to or not.
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    Yours is in better condition?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Thank god
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Sorry, l didn't know you were on SSI. Everything has gone up in price horribly. Alot of people on fixed incomes are struggling in my park. It's hard to see. Some places give you a new phone for switching. My boyfriend switched to Boost, they gave him a beautiful phone but charged him 25 dollars to get it up and running, and he paid one month of phone bill.
    UberScout
    [Kumo System]cmdline: Log --

    Used Item [Glacier Dust] + [Finwheat], successfully cured {Bulk Anger} status

    (Read: Kumo system is a psych system I "installed" to myself that turns my thinking process and progressive decision pathfinding into RPG logic. I got it from a subliminal combo I had to listen to 4 times... lol. Hey, if it works it works.)
    UberScout
    Wow. Family fighting 1st thing in the morning. Not surprised at all, this has desensitized me at this point; I don't become alert unless I hear something crash through the wall.
    tree
    tree
    Do you mean hear the sound of something crashing against the wall?

    Or do you mean objects making holes though the wall? @UberScout
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Not good. You sure go through a lot as young person. Not right at all.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Objects.

    @Aspychata Yeah. And all my mother has to say about it is "that's life, nothing you can do about it". Don't get me wrong, she means well... but she's actually been through more than I have.
    UberScout
    up and down i go with my depression
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Wishing for more stability for you, I know it is an elusive thing, but it is not unattainable.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    You're a staff member now...?
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Yes, I’m going to join the mod team. I thought they would want Huxley, but apparently it’s for humans only.
    UberScout
    turn me on dead man, turn it off
    tree
    tree
    Is that a reference to the ancient "Paul is dead" thing, regarding
    the Beatles? Or what?
    UberScout
    Suicidal thoughts cleared after sleep.New alignment: Neutral Evil.

    I can no longer tolerate how toxic my family is. They only have negative things to say both to me and about me. They are never happy with me. My mother has successfully pushed me into evil.
    UberScout
    Critically suicidal
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    There's no getting out of here, cartoonist. My mental stability does not matter in this house anymore.

    I *must* give my hand to the dark side. It is the only way to survive now.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @Aspychata I wish I didn't have to be part of life so that my autism would stop making me constantly depressed and frustrated with never having money we need to get things we need or want. There's no variety anymore, everything's just monotonous and boring. And that's my life now. I almost killed myself yesterday morning but SOMEBODY stopped me.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I hit deadends too in my life. People seem to let us down, and it hurts. It doesn't matter who, sometimes support disappears. Glad you decided to stay healthy.
    UberScout
    Oasis Activity:

    Aloe: "Violet... I hope you know what you're doing with Tyler."
    Violet: "Cousin, I got this. Don't worry about Ty."
    Me: "Violet... Can you teach me darkness?"
    Violet: "My dear, sweet child... that's what I do."
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Violet: "Show me what you've learned... furball..."
    (He cups his hands together, and instead of a normal, blue psi ball forming, it is instead reddish-purple.)
    Violet: "I've taught you well."
    Aloe: "Tyler... be careful with that...!!"
    Tyler: "Oh don't worry. I know what I'm doing, Aloe."
    (He grins wide. There are shark teeth where his human teeth used to be.)
    UberScout
    Me playing Alone in The Dark:

    *le me checking a closet for ammo & health kit*
    Game: lol ima turn the music off real quick
    Me: Boi if you don't g--
    *floor noises*
    Also me: *opens door*
    Zombie: yo I need directions
    Me: @@@@@@@###$#@!!!$!@@#%#!!@#@
    UberScout
    NOW I'm not allowed to do ANYTHING downstairs while they're sleeping. That's it. I'm going rogue.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Are you able to get out of the house and do things on your own? Can you drive or take Ubers or public transportation somewhere?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Realistically yes I am able to get out of the house, I have been this whole time, I just exaggerate when I'm upset (that's the *issues* I have with anger/stress/ptsd). I just don't have my own mode of transportation, plus I've got sciatica and my feet go numb + legs go stiff if I walk too long.

    But that's why God gave us Minecraft.
    UberScout
    I hate having mood swings.
    L
    Luca
    Me too. I hate crying for no reason.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Stability feels so important and it gets really hard when we do not have that.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Stability?! What's that?! I've only ever heard about that on TV!!!
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