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Metalhead

Metalhead

V.I.P Member
8647 46 From Bedlam
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  • Metalhead
    If only I were not an alcoholic who was recently diagnosed with gout - I kinda want a beer right now.
    Misery
    Misery
    Come now. I think you and I both know that you can handle this, that you can get through this. Dont let negative thoughts take root.
    Metalhead
    It is midnight. I just had a dream where I went splat across the planet’s surface after falling for a long while. I am very much wide awake and full of adrenaline. I have to leave for work in seven hours. This sucks.
    Metalhead
    I just feel like staying in bed these days. I have to force myself out of bed to go to work, then after the shift is done I go home and back to bed.
    View previous comments…
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    I’m doing it. I’m getting a happy light. Metalhead, I’ll let you know if it works.
    Depression and recovery from addiction? We need anything we can find that brings happiness.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    That's great news @Rodafina . Our tux cat would sit on the table with his body right on the light box because it's harder with the fur to absorb it. So cute. I couldn't chase him off the table. Doctors do recommend it exactly for this.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    That’s adorable about your cat. Thank you for the link @Aspychata, it’s overwhelming to choose things like this, so I just went with your suggestion. Thank you.
    Metalhead
    I am free from alcohol but I am losing interest in other things that used to bring me pleasure. I am feeling dead inside, like I want to sleep through this winter.
    Crabcore
    Crabcore
    That definitely happened to me through sobriety as well. Then I had to build a better version of myself and new interests. It's still a work in progress, but I prefer it this way for sure
    Metalhead
    A three day weekend of watching media and writing critical reviews. I am looking forward to it.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Great weekend planned. Gout must have improved a bit?
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Gout has improved quite a bit. Instead of my go-to of tortilla chips as a movie snack, I got some veggie sticks instead.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I just read up on gout, and lentils aren't good. All the things l like are on the don't eat list. Lol
    Metalhead
    I wish Dre was my Dr. Imagine all of the medical grade chronic he would prescribe to me. If I get a hangnail, a prescription for the chronic! Stub my toe? More chronic! Paper cut? More chronic!
    Metalhead
    I wish I could finish tomorrow’s work right now so I no longer have to worry about it. Heh.
    Metalhead
    I have to make many invitation calls today for my job. I have to prepare my professional phone voice. I have to pump myself full of black dark roast coffee. I have to engage in adulting. But there is money to be made here.
    Metalhead
    It just occurred to me that I have not had a single bite to eat today.
    L
    Luca
    I hadn't either until midnight. Stress will do that to you. Hope you've had something to eat now.
    Metalhead
    I hate pain. Pain sucks. I am not a physical masochist. If physical pain gave me pleasure, I would be very happy right now - but it does not, and I am not.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Maybe you will finally feel more like yourself in a week.
    Metalhead
    Diagnosis is gout. I will survive. I just have to lay off my favorite foods.
    tree
    tree
    Little Merry Sunshine says: It's an opportunity to try new things!

    (sorry. Gout is not fun. And I know some about giving up favorite foods.)
    Judge
    Judge
    Now go out and buy a jar of organic black cherry juice. Put it into the back of your refrigerator and forget about it, until the next time your foot starts to hurt- before it begins to swell up. Not as effective as Allipurinol, but it's nice to have besides NSAIDs to subdue the pain.

    I may get it once every one or two years...being mostly vigilant about what not to eat or to do so in moderation.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Gout? Okay. Maybe that's been a bee for awhile for you. Maybe you will finally get relief now.
    Metalhead
    Right foot is in a ton of pain, is red and swollen, I am going to a clinic directly after work today and a friend is driving me, I made it to the office OK on the bus but now it is just pure pain.
    View previous comments…
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    "I´m dying doctor."

    "don´t be unpolite! you have to wait like everyone else!"

    2 hours later

    "patient? I now have time for you"

    assistant: umm doctor. the patient is dead.

    doctor: oh. okay. that means I can take my quitting time earlier.

    (exaggerated but still)
    Judge
    Judge
    Sounds like gout. If so you'll have to become aware of the purine-rich foods that trigger it.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Diagnosis was gout. I am working from home the rest of week while starting allopurinol after this vicious flare up ends. My boss is understanding about this - she saw me struggling to get around the office today.
    Metalhead
    I am thinking of skipping the family Thanksgiving gathering this year. My sticky-fingered cousin and my narcissistic aunt will be there.
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Good idea. How about a happy Thanksgiving without the blood sucking energy draining relatives rerun. Plus it will only contribute to feeling not so good. And holidays are emotional enough. I don't get invited to my mom's but maybe that's a good thing.
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    sticky-fingered? what does that mean? doesn´t he wash his hands? xd
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    He’s a kleptomaniac.
    Metalhead
    Parents who abuse their children, and then turn around and use chemical restraints on them when they start showing signs of displeasure at what is going on, should be imprisoned and stripped of their parental duties.
    BrokenBoy
    BrokenBoy
    So you're antipsychiatry?
    Knower of nothing
    Knower of nothing
    "I didn't raise you like this!" followed by the later-in-life "Why doesn't he want to talk to me?" is the karmic justice. It's always sad when you see old folk whos family basically forgot about them, but statistically I know some of them had this coming.
    Metalhead
    I am coming to realize that the job I have now is the first job I have had in my life where I am not seen as disposable and expendable.
    Metalhead
    I vow to live for my own approval. My own standards. My own values. No more will I be handled like clay unless I personally allow it. My boundaries come first. A man without value for his own boundaries is a man lost in life.
    View previous comments…
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Keeping my sobriety my top priority. Sticking to my healthy living routines. Bringing back my criticism website. Realizing my family’s opinions have zero relevance in how I should live my own life.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Despite what my mother wants me to believe, I am not a horribly bad person who offends everybody just by existing.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You are taking your power back by refusing to believe your mother's brainwashing which held you captive because it suited her insecurities to control your life. :(
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