It's part of the autistic issue. Does she have education in this area?
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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Aspychata
AprilR
No, i don't think so. I don't even know if autism specialists exist in my city Sadly. I can try to search, but i have been seeing this therapist for years and she has all my history down so it would be hard to trust a new person
AprilR
She thinks the fact that i was scared of people is bc of not processed trauma. I am pretty sure its bc people are unpredictable and confusing and what is unknown is scary
Raggamuffin
My therapist told me not to put too much stock in my ADHD diagnosis, or what I've learnt and researched about Autism. Along with my upcoming assessment. She too said it's most likely unresolved trauma. I have read some about CPTSD, and supposedly trauma can, if severe enough - present like autism in many ways. There's a lot of overlap with neurodiverse conditions.
AprilR
I don't have much of a traumatic past though. Before starting school, at home my development was normal, i only had hyperlexia. When i started school, i was terrified and didn't know how to act, when to speak, when is it my turn to say something etc. I also had selective mutism and i hid in bathrooms during breaks
Raggamuffin
I thought my upbringing was normal until my last therapist, and describing my childhood etc. she said I was quite badly emotionally neglected by distant and emotionally unavaiable and unstable parents.
AprilR
My upbringing i suspect was also abnormal, my mom was overly critical of me and my (also possibly autistic) dad. I was scared of my mom. My dad had his own problems and i hated him for the Longest time also. But i feel like all these are a seperate issue from my brain being different.
Raggamuffin
My therapist said our brains and bodies absorb trauma and emotionally turbulent environments from when we are babies. So often, even long before we have memory of it - we could have been setup for emotional regulation issues and other struggles.
All-Rounder
I would suggest to talk to her about it. This is important to bring up and maybe she can learn a thing or two or at least understand what you're like.
All-Rounder
It's possible they both contribute in some amount to your anxiety with social situations, like upbringing is essential in trust and feeling comfortable with others, I would say it wouldn't particularly help to have hardship in the family relationships as a kid, to not be really sure how to deal with situations having example parents which are not always understanding, explanatory and patient.
Aspychata
I find that to many therapists don't understand our issues and you end up explaining more then getting therapy.
AprilR
Sometimes it gets to the point that i want to stop acting just bc i want people to NOTICE i am not normal
Aspychata
Who is normal these days? People act so insane in Florda.
AprilR
Maybe different would be a better Word. I just want people to acknowledge how much i am struggling at work and keeping everything to myself bc there is no one to ask anything. And when you make a mistake they act like you are evil or something instead of failing to understand certain things bc i can't magically understand with my nt intuition
Aspychata
It sounds like a toxic workplace. So many places like that. 