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Recent content by Timo_WA

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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    I want to start off by saying THANK YOU! to everyone who took the time to reply to this and try to help me out. You have, tremendously. You all gave me some really good perspectives that will help me be a more understanding person in general. I want to give a special thanks to @Hypnalis for...
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    telling to an NT about having Autism spectrum without shock it

    So I am finding out. This whole thread is making me really sad because I didn't realize that the consensus was "don't tell anyone". I mean, it makes sense why when you see these stories, but it's so lame that people won't even bother to try for people that they claim to care about.
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    telling to an NT about having Autism spectrum without shock it

    You did nothing wrong, and you didn't cause them any harm. If they don't know how to speak to you now, that's because of their own ignorance. I know that doesn't change the feeling of rejection, but if they can't handle even you opening up the tiniest bit, they were going to end up being a drain...
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    telling to an NT about having Autism spectrum without shock it

    Hey there! I am a little confused. Were you wanting to tell this friend that you have autism, or that you think maybe they have autism?
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    You are a wonderful human. No, this is great, and I totally understand. I have actually already written it, and it's just sitting in my drafts for a point in time in the future that seems appropriate. I have been working on it for 2 days now, and you have me pegged-- I always start embellished...
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    That's pretty fantastic, actually! Being secure if your friendships is a really great place to be. Most people fear the rejection, no matter how small, and it's a big source of anxiety in every kind of relationship, even in friendships. It's why people tend to not be completely open and not say...
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    The risk is that when you take a step forward, someone doesn't meet you there. You risk rejection. For example if we had never hugged before, and he asks for a hug, he is the one who had to put himself out there and I get to decide if I want to or not, and if I am always waiting for him to make...
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    Ahhh, that's really good insight. He has always warned about being too close, so I always let him lead, but i can see how that gets exhausting in it's own way because then you're always the one taking the risk. Honestly, have you seen those cat obstacle challenges? That's how I feel....except...
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    You haven't bothered me. Quite the opposite. I appreciate all the responses. Sorry I missed yours!
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    Well, the last time I tried to talk to him and said something similar to that (5 days ago), he clearly did not want to talk about it, or to me. He said that my need to talk to him so soon after him saying he will run away if I push was proving that he was right about me being too close. In my...
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    Well, no. I am not blocked, or even unfriended. He did delete our chat history though, which deletes it for me as well. On the platform we use, once you block someone, you can't undo it. So at least part of him doesn't want to close that door. I actually got a notification today that he liked...
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    I tend to agree with your last line in principle. But self destructive people tend to say stuff they don't mean sometimes (that alone is arguably enough to say bye). Or maybe I am just blind and don't want to believe it :sweatsmile:I know he cares. He does nice things for people all the time...
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    That's so difficult. This my be a dumb question, but what is scary? I can see some of this in him, definitely. Are you ever the one to initiate and push for the closeness and then freak yourself out, or are you not interested in it at all? I only ever match behavior, I never initiate. He was...
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    That is absolutely brilliant. And you're so so so right. It's just really sad to think of someone who wants that more than anything, and is just completely incapable. I know it's not my job to hold anyone together though, nor is that even possible. Thanks so much for this super thoughtful response.
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    Update!: Confused NT not wanting to dig a bigger hole

    It does. Just knowing that this is a normal thing helps a lot, so thank you for sharing.
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