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Recent content by selectivedetective

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    Bad Experience

    Thank you for the reply here @Rodafina I've calmed down a bit. Wondering whether to ask the contact at the other branch who I know is pleased with my work. In the meantime I have, this evening written notes on everything that happened on Saturday, or didn't happen and should have. It is...
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    Bad Experience

    Today I had to do some oral exams for a private exam centre. These are usually exams for 16 year olds, but sometimes older people do them. They gave me 4 or 5 different exam boards and 2 different languages. This would have been OK and I had an invigilator helping me to record etc, but some...
  3. S

    31 years old and feel like I'm running out of time

    Don't worry too much. You have a lot going for you -work, skills, good relationship with your father, previous date - all that counts so much. THe other thing is that you are so aware of who you are and how you may come across to people. So it's not as if you will bore someone to death and just...
  4. S

    Stress and anxiety

    Thank you @Misery that was a very swift reply. Yes, I will keep you posted.
  5. S

    Stress and anxiety

    I'm not sure if people will come back to this thread again...? I just wanted to report progress, well, a bit of progress I think. It was very helpful to read your comments last time. So after I posted before, things got worse with my laptop. I then started to use my son's desktop with separate...
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    Stress and anxiety

    Thank you so much for these replies. I feel really supported. I like the alcohol lecture @Misery It needs to be said. I'm not drinking tonight and have tried to drink quite a bit of water. I went out to a natural park with my son today, so that helped my mind too. I don't manage to quieten my...
  7. S

    Stress and anxiety

    Thank you for these replies. THey are all helpful. Yes, I do worry about my lessons being good enough. Someone alerted me to a typo on a worksheet tonight, and that sent me into a spin. I am trying to tell myself I will never be perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. That helps a bit. I...
  8. S

    Stress and anxiety

    Just wondering how you all deal with this, apart from medication. I am a private language tutor and since Covid hit, I have only been teaching via the internet. I have managed to set up some group lessons via Zoom, but I'm finding it involves a lot of stress. I worry about the lessons being good...
  9. S

    Emotional Distance/Disassociation

    THank you for the replies here. Lots of food for thought. I can see now from my own experience that I don't just cut off from people through boredom. It's also through feeling overwhelmed. And often I don't even cut off on purpose. It's often the practical side of stuff. For example once, when...
  10. S

    Emotional Distance/Disassociation

    Thank you. I wasn't sure I was that clear, but definitely the other poster who posted along those lines helped me a lot.
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    Emotional Distance/Disassociation

    I would like to thrash something out a bit on here. Someone on a thread I read earlier in the week, mentioned that they are emotional distancers. That they are sometimes driven into a friendship or relationship when loneliness gets them down, but before long they get bored and perhaps...
  12. S

    I wish I had someone I could rely on

    I feel this too. I do get the other posts about romantic relationships not lasting, not being the support some might hope for etc, and about friendship. But I also feel that friends usually have their partner or special person, so you can't rely on their commitment. Also, as I'm older rather...
  13. S

    Susceptible, not after you read this.....

    It's hard because I find I am constantly down playing any spontaneity in order to fit in with other people. I don't want to carry on talking after they have given a maybe subtle signal that they are bored, I don't want to laugh too loudly or get too emotional. And that's all safe stuff for new...
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    Susceptible, not after you read this.....

    THis is such a useful thread. I don't think we can ever be fully not taken advantage proof, or whatever the phrase would be, but any tips are hugely helpful. I agree that knowing someone in a context is also a safe way to build up a friendship or relationship. This is one reason why I am...
  15. S

    School reunions

    This is interesting because last year someone from my school contacted me on LinkedIn to ask me to meet a few of them at a restaurant, on the reunion weekend. I'm afraid I had no idea what to answer, and rather than saying yes or no, just ignored the message. Recently I've been wondering about...
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