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Recent content by Ocarina

  1. Ocarina

    Being taken Advantage of, as Aspie/Autie Women

    The struggle I have had is being too open and friendly to members of the opposite sex which is taken as a come on - have had a couple of apparently out of the blue and deeply embarassing marriage proposals from men I had no romantic interest in whatsover. It's become something of a joke amongst...
  2. Ocarina

    Aspergers vs Avoidance in relationships

    "I think this kind of thing is very important to caregivers as children need the proper support in life to be successful and adjusted adults. Trauma can easily change the perception of that child, especially when it starts early, and the child has not been able to show what they are capable of...
  3. Ocarina

    How was your childhood?

    I found it difficult to answer this question. My father was very like me - kind, gentle, unconventional, peace loving - he worked away in the US whilst we lived in the UK so wasn't around much. My mother was temperamental, unhappy, had had a difficult childhood and wasn't a natural mother - we...
  4. Ocarina

    Aspergers vs Avoidance in relationships

    Yes - I am also avoidant in many ways. I am learning very slowly to sit with discomfort through meditation and to resist the need to run or distract. By the time I was diagnosed it feels as though life has imprinted so many patterns of behaviour upon me that it's difficult to unravel and unlearn...
  5. Ocarina

    Aspergers vs Avoidance in relationships

    Difficult indeed - a constant battle between desire for intimacy and need for alone time.
  6. Ocarina

    Aspergers vs Avoidance in relationships

    Mindfulness has been really helpful to me by enabling me to actually physically locate the sensations which are attached to various emotions - and to sit with them as a result. You are not alone - your description of being on a different wavelength in relationships resonates with me.
  7. Ocarina

    Aspergers vs Avoidance in relationships

    Agreed - when you are in the midst of something it's difficult to separate cause and effect in behaviours, identity and personality. Two of my children who had and asd diagnosis as young children show classical autism behaviours but perhaps because they've been accepted without question...
  8. Ocarina

    Aspergers vs Avoidance in relationships

    Thanks I do want your wise words - and agreed. I suspect growing up feeling somewhat alien and by default alienating those around us does have a deep impact on many of us in later life. Aloof and cool is perhaps something of a protective shield.
  9. Ocarina

    Aspergers vs Avoidance in relationships

    ""The more extreme avoidants are almost incapable of talking about their feelings; whatever feelings they do have access to are primarily negative and they have great difficulty describing them verbally. This syndrome is called alexithymia, the roots of the word literally meaning “having no...
  10. Ocarina

    Aspergers vs Avoidance in relationships

    Hello Does anyone have any wise words on this subject? Aspergers in relationships and friendships can look very similar to avoidant personality traits typically demonstrated by individuals who have been deprived of love and affection in early years and have therefore never learnt how to be...
  11. Ocarina

    I see a trend- NTs and non NTs

    As an ASD woman - who's also been a volunteer for Samaritans for a few years, men are much less likely to ask for help in general. Whilst the women who have posted on here may be seen to be complaining, to want to change their partners, in reality these people are posting largely because they...
  12. Ocarina

    Aspergers and avoidance

    I recognise this at least to some degree - it can take really some time to be able to locate and vocalise what's going on. I found this quote earlier: "When your feelings are under-responded to as a child (CEN), you grow up pushing away, questioning, or numbing out your own emotions." I...
  13. Ocarina

    Aspergers and avoidance

    Difficult stuff - and sorry to hear you're going through this. At least you're aware of the fact that you're not dealing with this - and that it's adversely affecting you. I often find I have physical signs or reactions to emotions I'm not even aware have happened - like the emotion goes under...
  14. Ocarina

    Aspergers and avoidance

    Thank you so much Alaska - this could have been written exactly in answer to my question. The methods described in the article are just what I would like to explore. I'm interested - have you or anyone else tried anything similar? I used to feel emotionally dead - as though I didn't really have...
  15. Ocarina

    Aspergers and avoidance

    I agree emotions are normal - but for some reason - whether this is asd or suppression, I often struggle to actually process recognise and experience the emotion, let alone get as far as feelings...
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