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Recent content by NTWife

  1. N

    Kind of new, not really posted

    I am currently in the process of divorcing my Aspie husband. In addition to the Asperger's, he apparently hid from me for the duration of our 22 year relationship that he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (some time during the first year) and about the same time he was diagnosed with AS, he...
  2. N

    5 year old and husband have Aspergers and I am lost.....

    Gee,Cyanide, looks like reading comprehension isn't your strong suit.
  3. N

    Interpreting Things Literally

    Stellares, I really don't recall asking you what you thought of it all. I didn't ask for your advice, nor is it welcomed.
  4. N

    About to be engaged to an Aspie... and worried.

    However, Cyanide, being one of those "...whiny bitches who are intent upon forcing you to change to meet their impossible and ridiculous standards" this is why I've tried to get him into marriage counseling for so many years. It's hard to NOT be one of those "...whiny bitches who are intent...
  5. N

    5 year old and husband have Aspergers and I am lost.....

    Exactly right, Cyanide Lollipop. However, not all Aspies are even willing to change, believing they need to do nothing at all to make things better, that the rest of the world should just adjust to them. It's a very difficult disorder to work with and if the aspie isn't willing to work on...
  6. N

    5 year old and husband have Aspergers and I am lost.....

    I guess what I'm seeing, 911Dispatcher, is that you'd already made up your mind to go back to him and just wanted validation for the decision. Most aspies are OF COURSE great during the courtship. YOU are their project and as soon as he's back in your life full-time, he'll move on to the...
  7. N

    Interpreting Things Literally

    No, he actually was cheating on me. For a year. To further the discussion on it, once he was found out via the tramp's husband when he called our house (he'd found e-mails between them in a personal account she'd created for the sole purpose of maintaining the relationship). STILL, I was...
  8. N

    Interpreting Things Literally

    Truthfully, Ylva, I thought of that and wish it were that simple with my husband. But he's so adept at the "literal" thing and using it to manipulate and distort, it's tough to stay ahead of him. His being an Aspie also makes it hard to get inside his head in anyway to figure out just what it...
  9. N

    5 year old and husband have Aspergers and I am lost.....

    But how nurturing can a person truly be if they lack the appropriate empathy to be there for their children during life's most difficult times? I've seen my husband stand by too many times (and I've gotten this same observation from several other NT spouses, this isn't just me) while our kids...
  10. N

    About to be engaged to an Aspie... and worried.

    However, Stellares - this particular forum is for FAMILY members of Aspies, not for the Aspies themselves. An NT asked for the opinion of an NT and I gave it, based on what I've seen myself and what I've had shared with me by other NT spouses. Don't like what you see here? Don't come into...
  11. N

    5 year old and husband have Aspergers and I am lost.....

    To address your first paragraph- yes, they are. And it's maddening because you simply don't matter to them. It's not that they don't care; they do. It's that they're so hard-wired to focus on their needs only, everything else falls to the wayside, all the time. Second paragraph - You will...
  12. N

    5 year old and husband have Aspergers and I am lost.....

    The short answer is: you can't help him. Only he can help himself. The longer answer is: Most aspies don't make good parents due to their being so narrowly focused on themselves. In a few other groups I belong to that are for spouses of Aspies, nearly all of the NT parents tell of their...
  13. N

    About to be engaged to an Aspie... and worried.

    Neat Hedgehog - you're absolutely correct - most people are about "fair", but it seems Aspies take it to the nth degree. Fair for them is more about getting as much as they can get from everyone else with no thought as to how it affects everyone else. My husband is a good example of this when...
  14. N

    About to be engaged to an Aspie... and worried.

    I realize I'm coming late to the party but... I would say if someone is an NT, they should NEVER marry an Aspie, especially if kids are part of future plans. I belong to several spouse of Aspie groups and there are a number of prevailing traits that don't mesh well with marriage. 1. Aspies...
  15. N

    if friendship is transient, what's the point?

    It really doesn't need to be that adversarial. Couldn't it just be the OP here is really just a nice person? Not everything has to have some "hidden dig" or "hidden meaning". Not everything and every interaction has to be about "one-upping" the other person.
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