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Recent content by Moviefan2k4

  1. Moviefan2k4

    My Story

    I pray almost every day, and have been about this for a while. But receiving answers has always been tough for me, since I often struggle deciphering God's voice from my own thoughts or feelings.
  2. Moviefan2k4

    My Story

    Hey, all. Its been quite a while since I was a regular around here. I didn't see a way to search for specific threads of my own, so forgive me if this has been previously posted. I'm just very frustrated, and looking for answers. First, you should all know that I am a Christian. I don't resort...
  3. Moviefan2k4

    Christianity and Aspergers

    I accepted Christ long before I'd even heard of autism or Asperger's, in any form. Having said that, I still talk to Jesus a lot in prayer. I don't know why He made me this way, but I do believe He has a reason for it. A difficult but important thing to remember, is that our lack of...
  4. Moviefan2k4

    Overwhelmed by social interaction?

    My former pastor in Dallas did a message maybe 3 years ago, talking about how a lot of people were actually more social on their own, before the birth of the Internet. They gathered on house porches or decks, left their houses unlocked, and trusted people a lot more in general. Personally, I...
  5. Moviefan2k4

    Are you left handed, right handed, or in between?

    Right-handed.
  6. Moviefan2k4

    what kinder people do you attract

    I'm not really sure what kind of people I attract, because I don't go out much by myself. A lot of my friends during childhood were significantly younger than me, and to this day I feel some sort of bond in that regard. I'm just not used to people constantly screaming, running around, or pulling...
  7. Moviefan2k4

    Clothing?

    I like shirts with TV, movie, and video game logos on them...but for the longest time, they didn't fit. I've lost about 70 pounds in the last 18 months, so now I can wear them! Glory to God for that!
  8. Moviefan2k4

    Open-mindedness, diversity, and Asperger's

    I despise the terms "open mind" and "closed mind", for one main reason: folks rarely ever tell you what you're supposed to be open or closed to, and why. The whole thing is too vague. and I'm someone who works best with the most details.
  9. Moviefan2k4

    What pathetic things get you raging with anger?

    One of the things that constantly has fueled my anger is my spiritual life. I often feel like a failure in the eyes of God, wanting so desperately to trust Him but not knowing how. I know He is real, and I do believe that Jesus has saved me...but there's long been a huge gap between my mind and...
  10. Moviefan2k4

    Does anyone else feel like they are constantly putting on an act?

    I've had various degrees of mental and emotional chaos, for as long as I can remember. Its become worse when I lose someone very close to me, like my ex-girlfriend Michelle ten years ago, my Grandma in 2013, and my Mom last year. I become so angry, desperate, bitter, cold, and broken...I...
  11. Moviefan2k4

    Does anyone else feel like they are constantly putting on an act?

    I feel this way a lot of the time, especially with my spiritual life. There's a part of me which truly loves God and Jesus, wanting to be closer to both like crazy...but at the same time, my prayers often feel either forced or empty. I feel like the main kid from The Polar Express, who says "I...
  12. Moviefan2k4

    Was your social anxiety with you since birth?

    I always had trouble around others outside of my immediate family, and even half of them, too. I started realizing I was different from others when I was eight years old, but wrestled for over 20 years because I couldn't explain well enough the "what", "how", or "why". My emotions have...
  13. Moviefan2k4

    Forgiving Oneself

    I thought I knew who she was, at the start...but everything changed after sex got involved. When she left me for the first time, the deep trust we'd had beforehand vanished...and I spent over a decade desperately trying to get it back. I spent about 6 years, thinking I'd done something horrible...
  14. Moviefan2k4

    Forgiving Oneself

    I had thought of that, but she still lived with my family for a short time, in the very beginning. I'd have settled for anything but silence, because I've learned that indifference is the true opposite of love.
  15. Moviefan2k4

    Forgiving Oneself

    I've been stuck in regret for a long time, over sinful and extremely foolish decisions I made in my only past relationship. I've lost count of all the people who have told me to let it go...but it actually got a little easier after my Mom passed away. I'd kept my ex-girlfriend in the loop about...
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